So I figured I should let yall know that there's a good chance that I'm going to be really slow with posting on my page due to two big reasons. Reason number one is my heavily fractured mental health, this is something I've brought up before but it's really fucking bad. Everyday I'm fighting for control in a body that doesn't belong to me trying to get through everyday without falling apart and it gets really tiring. My mind will do things such as randomly make me feel depressed even when it's a good day, make me hallucinate or hear shit as if I'm fucking crazy, or make me lose control of myself if I get too down.

Reason two being work, I've made myself start working full time at Jack-in-the-box to get as much money as I can so I can get on anti-depressants like my therapist highly suggests or to move out of this prison I'm supposed to call home. I live with my family and I fucking hate it here so much, my dad is a dickhead, my sister acts like a bitch at times, and my mom refuses to let me get on anti-depressants (so does my dad). Along with that my dad forces me to doing shit that makes it hard as fuck to maintain control over myself, before people suggest me saying no I've tried several times and it never works. All the shit that happens in this house makes living so fucking hard for me and people like my friends and therapist really want me to move out for my mental health.

I do want to keep posting stuff for you all since I know there's people that love what I do but I can't promise I'll be uploading much. This photography thing I found really fun and enjoyed that fact that people love me doing this too. Hell I wasn't even planning on making this a thing I'd be doing on here, I only post this shit cuz frienda encouraged me and said people would love it and yall do. But I can't promise I'll be posting often, its not a good idea force myself to be doing this when I'm on the verge of breaking down into tears. And for people wondering I have tired explaining my situation in the past to family and it never worked, I either got shifty solutions or people thinking it either nothing or I'm bullshiting.

I promise I'll do my best to post as often as I can but there's a good chance it'll be slow, just please bare with me since my irl life needs to come first. Until then, I appreciate you all for the support.

P.S. My mental health is especially bad when I fear the people I live with and there are so many instances where a violent, depressing, or suicidal thought appears in my head.