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Me, and why am I not enjoying RPs.
2 years ago
General
(Repost cuz I'm a dumbo who didn't realize comments were turned off at the initial posting)
Been thinking of a few things lately, and why I'm not really enjoying rps all that much anymore. (No, I ain't talking about random people dm-ing me out of the blue asking for that, as I still block those. That's just weird and not cool at all to do. Not to mention if you are a minor. In that case, get out of my sight.)
Now I'll be mainly talking about being "sub" and being "dom", and this won't imply erp or the such.
I had only a handful of sessions the last few months (by handful I mean like 2 or 3), and it made me notice an additional reason on why I no longer enjoy my rp sessions. Some of you already know the aspect of me being exceptionally specific with how I want things, as well as just how difficult to please me in general. I ain't gonna pretend I'm not part of that problem. People would probably turn down by me and my "neediness".
But I realized another thing.
After those rp sessions I was praised for being an "amazing dom", or if a certain situation I enjoyed came up, it always had to involve someone else aswell. Honestly... as much as I enjoy having my ego stroked, I don't enjoy playing the dom very much. Guess the reason I might be good as it is, because I put myself in the other person's shoes, and try to imitate how I would like to be treated if I was the sub.
But in the last couple years or so during the rp situations, I never got to get the treatment I wanted as the "sub". Or if I did, it was never on my own, but the involvement of someone else who also wants to do the same thing I did.
Being a sub is hard if you are better at playing the dom (apparently)... even if I'd enjoy the things to happen to me far more, than be the cause of the happenings to others. Yesterday I made a poll on Twitter, that confirms what I said, since twice as many people said they would prefer me being the dom, than the sub.
Honestly don't even know if I could play out the things I want by this point. I feel, I completely forgot how to do so. Not gonna pretend I was any good at it, but am just not feeling like trying anymore. Doesn't help, that most of the times I also end up interacting with subs. Which will always end up me just playing the dom, cuz they always want to be the sub.
Now, you might be asking "well, why didn't you just look into finding a dom for these?", for which I have two answers: 1: I didn't even know where to start looking. 2: I... didn't exactly dare to seek out doms, since I don't know what kind of dom would I stumble across, that would possibly make things far worse. They most likely wouldn't be as gracious towards me as I try to be when I end up playing their roles. I don't want a rude and/or hardcore overdominant person, who has no regard towards my wishes, my boundaries and my feelings. I believe, there are many who doesn't want to care about such things.
As such, it feels like I'm the only sub, who knows how to play the dom aswell. Which I don't know how to feel about... even if people enjoy me as the dom, I just... feel nothing.
So no, I don't really like to rp in any role anymore.
Think, that's it for now. I might have missed something, in which case I'll update this.
Been thinking of a few things lately, and why I'm not really enjoying rps all that much anymore. (No, I ain't talking about random people dm-ing me out of the blue asking for that, as I still block those. That's just weird and not cool at all to do. Not to mention if you are a minor. In that case, get out of my sight.)
Now I'll be mainly talking about being "sub" and being "dom", and this won't imply erp or the such.
I had only a handful of sessions the last few months (by handful I mean like 2 or 3), and it made me notice an additional reason on why I no longer enjoy my rp sessions. Some of you already know the aspect of me being exceptionally specific with how I want things, as well as just how difficult to please me in general. I ain't gonna pretend I'm not part of that problem. People would probably turn down by me and my "neediness".
But I realized another thing.
After those rp sessions I was praised for being an "amazing dom", or if a certain situation I enjoyed came up, it always had to involve someone else aswell. Honestly... as much as I enjoy having my ego stroked, I don't enjoy playing the dom very much. Guess the reason I might be good as it is, because I put myself in the other person's shoes, and try to imitate how I would like to be treated if I was the sub.
But in the last couple years or so during the rp situations, I never got to get the treatment I wanted as the "sub". Or if I did, it was never on my own, but the involvement of someone else who also wants to do the same thing I did.
Being a sub is hard if you are better at playing the dom (apparently)... even if I'd enjoy the things to happen to me far more, than be the cause of the happenings to others. Yesterday I made a poll on Twitter, that confirms what I said, since twice as many people said they would prefer me being the dom, than the sub.
Honestly don't even know if I could play out the things I want by this point. I feel, I completely forgot how to do so. Not gonna pretend I was any good at it, but am just not feeling like trying anymore. Doesn't help, that most of the times I also end up interacting with subs. Which will always end up me just playing the dom, cuz they always want to be the sub.
Now, you might be asking "well, why didn't you just look into finding a dom for these?", for which I have two answers: 1: I didn't even know where to start looking. 2: I... didn't exactly dare to seek out doms, since I don't know what kind of dom would I stumble across, that would possibly make things far worse. They most likely wouldn't be as gracious towards me as I try to be when I end up playing their roles. I don't want a rude and/or hardcore overdominant person, who has no regard towards my wishes, my boundaries and my feelings. I believe, there are many who doesn't want to care about such things.
As such, it feels like I'm the only sub, who knows how to play the dom aswell. Which I don't know how to feel about... even if people enjoy me as the dom, I just... feel nothing.
So no, I don't really like to rp in any role anymore.
Think, that's it for now. I might have missed something, in which case I'll update this.
Hmm, not enfirely accurate, but the best way I could compare it is like a master and pet situation. Again, this is not a completely accurate comparison though, as there are many differences, and the sub is not necessarily the pet of the dom in- or outside the scenarios.