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Pre-August indoor voice yelling
2 years ago
Been hard, but I think I'm doing better in socializing and reaching out. I am sorry if it has been a bit, or since late June or early July since I last messaged you. I'm really trying after that depressive episode.
In better news, I'm finally feeling better, and am at a place of relative normalcy again in my personal life. Besides the increased socializing boosting my self-esteem again, I have finally gotten a medication for my OCD after seeing a number of more recent studies coming out finding a link between low GABA, and higher glutamate in OCD patients: 0.5 mg of Clonazepam.
I've been quite hesitant with Benzos for a long time, but with federal regulations making Ketamine more expensive and difficult to get, I was interested in something that could medically increase my GABA. Already I've been so much less burdened: Back to where I was when I was getting my ketamine treatment. I still am struggling with social anxieties, but with my smaller obsessions and compulsions managed, I'm feeling adaptable, and motivated once again. Really noticing the social anxiety now that that is treated as well as the GAD + MDD (these two being treated already by my Bupropion), but I am finding the confidence to work on it.
Also, in line with the motivation stuff, I played a lot of Dota 2 lately. Been nearly a year, and picked it back up again. As said, been playing a lot due to having higher motivation. Most of the time I have had fun too: I don't try hard or sweat, and have a good attitude when it comes to ranked. Unranked has remained fun, but a string of recent ranked games had me losing to three blatant smurfs, and another two games being lost because a teammate would blame everyone else within the first five minutes then throw the game because we 'deserved to lose'... so yeah, putting Dota 2 back on the shelf for at least a week. Maybe play one unranked game or two in the meantime, but other games will do. All that to say that I'm going to be doing much more in irl and here! Check my bio for places I'm going to be uploading, and I will return to uploading on Tuesdays and Thursdays again in this next week.
Thank you all for your patience through this weird summer of mine, and remember that even if or when it isn't enough, try to do your best.
In better news, I'm finally feeling better, and am at a place of relative normalcy again in my personal life. Besides the increased socializing boosting my self-esteem again, I have finally gotten a medication for my OCD after seeing a number of more recent studies coming out finding a link between low GABA, and higher glutamate in OCD patients: 0.5 mg of Clonazepam.
I've been quite hesitant with Benzos for a long time, but with federal regulations making Ketamine more expensive and difficult to get, I was interested in something that could medically increase my GABA. Already I've been so much less burdened: Back to where I was when I was getting my ketamine treatment. I still am struggling with social anxieties, but with my smaller obsessions and compulsions managed, I'm feeling adaptable, and motivated once again. Really noticing the social anxiety now that that is treated as well as the GAD + MDD (these two being treated already by my Bupropion), but I am finding the confidence to work on it.
Also, in line with the motivation stuff, I played a lot of Dota 2 lately. Been nearly a year, and picked it back up again. As said, been playing a lot due to having higher motivation. Most of the time I have had fun too: I don't try hard or sweat, and have a good attitude when it comes to ranked. Unranked has remained fun, but a string of recent ranked games had me losing to three blatant smurfs, and another two games being lost because a teammate would blame everyone else within the first five minutes then throw the game because we 'deserved to lose'... so yeah, putting Dota 2 back on the shelf for at least a week. Maybe play one unranked game or two in the meantime, but other games will do. All that to say that I'm going to be doing much more in irl and here! Check my bio for places I'm going to be uploading, and I will return to uploading on Tuesdays and Thursdays again in this next week.
Thank you all for your patience through this weird summer of mine, and remember that even if or when it isn't enough, try to do your best.
