Well, after six productive years of working the job that took me in after I had been fired from my previous one, I've decided to call it quits on this one on my own terms. Unlike before, six years ago, I feel completely at ease with myself, despite the somewhat uncertainty of what comes next. But to summarize the situation, here's the rundown:

- Last week, things had finally come to a head where I just had that sudden overwhelming feeling of having had enough. I'm sure you know the feeling. It's a combination of several things that led to this moment.

- I had put in for my week's vacation and was supposed to start it this week. But at the last moment, two cashiers quit on us, which forced my boss to cancel my vacation until further notice. I was not happy because I always got my vacation around this time each year. I rely on it to offload all the emotional and mental baggage I've accumulated throughout the year. Then she tells me she still needs to take HER vacation, which I understand. But she gets to have two weeks while the rest of us only get one. The other full-timer got to have hers while we were still adequately staffed. But now I'm right screwed over, because apparently no one wants to work.

- Work-related stress has been piling up on me for quite some time now. I had already been thinking of looking for another job and starting over. But not being allowed to take my vacation until who-knows-when, that stress kept piling higher and higher until it finally overflowed, hence my "Fuck it!" moment that was the last straw for me.

- I realized that after three years as the assistant manager, I had gone as far as I'm able to go with this company. I knew already that I wouldn't be able to handle being a store manager and running my own store. It's too much responsibility and the demands on my time would've been staggering. The way I understood it, the time would've eventually came when the district manager would give me the ultimatum of either stepping up to store manager or stepping down. The assistant manager position was intended as a stepping stool towards moving on to running my own store. And having seen the demands of that position on other store managers, I knew fairly quickly that it wasn't for me. This meant I'd eventually have been forced to step down to my previous position, a lead sales associate, and lose all that pay I gained.

- I've made my lion's share of mistakes and what not, some of them proving somewhat costly to the store. By all accounts, I should've been fired by now for some of the things I did, however accidental. But my boss, bless her heart, she gave me more chances than I probably deserved. I still got written up for a couple key things she couldn't overlook, the most recent one being a final written notice. Had I messed up badly enough again, I would've been demoted from my position anyway.

- While I was given the option of simply stepping down instead of quitting, I knew in my heart that I didn't want to go backwards after all the hard work I put in to earn my way to where I was. Some would say I should've just done that, but again, I had hit my breaking point and I couldn't bear to keep doing this any longer. I put in my two week notice and intend to finish it out so I can leave on good terms and have a good reference.

- To answer your question, no. I don't have a job lined up right now. I have some money saved up and I intend to take that week's vacation that I desperately need. Understand, two days off per week isn't enough for me to truly unwind. All of that downtime is spent either recuperating from the prior week and/or doing necessary household chores. I haven't had time to truly unplug and unload everything from the previous year. I NEED this. And yes, I'm willing to take this risk when six years ago, losing my job was devastating. I have a lot more experience now and places are always looking for experienced help. I'm confident I'll be able to get back to work within a week or so once I'm ready to do so again.

- It also helps that I'm not alone this time. With Mimic living with me, he's been a wonderful friend and a great source of support in this uncertain time. I am very grateful to him for this and it's because of him that I can make this choice confidently.

Bottom line is, I'm 98% certain that I'll be alright. I had three different managers from three different companies come into my store as customers and just up and asked me if I wanted to work for them, without any prompting from me. That shows how much of an impact I've had on this community and I feel very happy about the doors I have opened up. I intend to explore each of those options thoroughly to decide which one is best. If none work out, there are other places as well.

It's much easier for me to cope with this when I'm the one quitting rather than being fired. I suppose it's because I'm doing this on my terms rather than theirs. Anyway, that's where I am right now and for the time being, I still have eight days left at my job before it's over.