Heyo! It’s been a while. I just uploaded a short story hoping to get my motivation rolling, and I just feel like there should be some sort of journal to go with it, since it’s been so long. I need to add obligatory sentences like “I’m planning to put out more stories soon” and stuff, too. Not gonna lie, it’s been a rough couple of months for me, so I’ve barely written, other than commissions (Which I haven’t finished or worked on anytime lately; I think I got ghosted from lack of communication.) Considering how inconsistently I’ve had access to a computer, I don’t really blame them.

I’ll talk a little about what I’ve been up to, but I’m worried it’ll turn into a vent, so feel free to stop reading here if you’re not into that. I don’t have any other important “updates” to add past this point.





Several months ago (Around early April, maybe?) my original flashdrive, that had the most current copies of all my stories, spontaneously corrupted. There was no real sign that anything was wrong with it, I just went to open a document one day and it said the file no longer existed. I lost almost everything. There was an entire new story I’d made seven chapters of—Gone. The sequel I was writing to Hive Mind, that a lot of people have been waiting for? Gone. Unfinished stories like Under Ice? Gone. There were also so many small stories that didn’t make it, I couldn’t keep track of how many disappeared until I went to check my backup files. (I’d last backed up my stuff months and months before.) Most of the stuff that I’d written afterwards though, that wasn’t backed up anywhere, was just suddenly, permanently gone.

I won’t sugarcoat it, I was deeply depressed and felt like writing was pointless.

So, I was mourning that for about a week, when the worst possible thing happened, and a teenager at my school suddenly passed away. I was not prepared for the emotional distress of waking up to a work email that one of my students had died. Everyone was in shock. I was in shock. The school actually closed for the day of his funeral.

About one week later, one of my friends went into the ICU. He’d just suddenly lost consciousness and stopped breathing. The doctors said that the damage to his brain was so great that he was essentially gone, and they had a machine breathing for him, but his mom wouldn’t let him go for several more weeks because “He’s a spiritual person, so God will save him.” Spoiler alert: He didn’t.

I’d barely recovered from the last funeral, so that was rough.

Immediately after (I think only a day or so later) my partner got kicked out of their house for coming out to their parents. (It’s slightly more nuanced than that, but that’s kind of the stereotype everyone recognizes.) They ended up moving in with me for two weeks while dealing with that. My apartment is just a very small room, with a twin size bed, so they were basically just sleeping on the floor in a little camp of blankets and stuff, and it was emotionally taxing to have to take care of them while still trying to take care of myself.

They eventually found an apartment. And it was a good thing for them, too, because after that, my apartment flooded.

I was okay. My cats were fine (very upset, but fine.) Not gonna lie though, it was scary. When I came home and saw what was going on, I found one of my power strips (with all my stuff plugged in) literally lying in a pool of water. By some miracle, it was turned upward, so the water hadn’t gotten into the sockets yet. I just immediately started unplugging things and getting stuff to higher ground while I could. (My bed is high up, and I have some desks and tables.) It wasn’t even “a lot” of water, but most things touching the floor were waterlogged and had to be thrown out (including furniture.)

My landlord has been really dragging his feet on doing anything about it over the past 1-2 months I’ve been dealing with the aftermath. I finally mentioned being worried about a possible black mold infestation, which would probably be more expensive for him to fix, for him to realize he should get around to fixing anything. I’ve basically been trying to live anywhere other than my apartment while I wait for him to replace the carpeting, as it’s so distressing to see all my belongings in boxes while the maintenance people break my stuff (They literally broke the back off a TV stand, shattered a lamp, and some other things they were “just moving”,) not to mention staying away from breathing in damp carpet mold. (Meanwhile, my landlord expects me to pay full rent, of course.) I ended up coming back a week ago, but I’m starting to feel like I might need to wear some kind of spore mask in my own home so I don’t get sick. I’m currently sitting about five feet away from one of the wet, black patches on the carpet, as it is. I have some black spots covered with towels, which isn’t helping them dry, but I’m more worried about spores becoming airborne. Now one of my cats has been sneezing lately. My other cat, dumb as a rock, is sitting on one of the towel spots watching me write this. Bless her heart, and the singular brain cell that keeps her alive.

Basically, there’s been a lot packed into 3.5 months, and it isn’t over yet. (I won’t consider that stuff over until I’m at least safe.) I could also go into problems at work, and health insurance suddenly ending my medical care, and how I’m going through a breakup with my partner, etc etc etc. But I feel like it’s just complaining at this point. No one really asked for a sob story lol. Like I said, everything has just been… a lot.
I guess some of what I’m trying to say with all this, is that I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. I’m just surviving.