I can't stay here anymore; Anything Helps
2 years ago
I’m in a toxic household. My dad is transphobic, and does not accept me for who I am. He’s had his thoughts warped by bigots, but more importantly than that he is emotionally immature, INFANTILE even with his emotions. He is toxic, he is abusive, and though he tries his best to help me, his idea of help… isn’t.
I have suicidal ideations, and they get stronger every day, especially days when dad is home on the weekends. We keep several guns in the house. I think about ending it a lot, but I don’t want to want to kill myself. But the more time I spend here in this hellhole house with my NIGHTMARE PSYCHO dad, the more I lose the strength to hang on.
If I stay here with my dad too much longer, I am going to take my own life.
But I don’t want to do that.
I need to get away from my dad. I need to get out of here. But last time I tried, I had no money, and I ended up homeless, had to come back home. Fact is, I’m mentally disabled; I’m autistic, and I am dependent on help from someone else in my life to, for the time being, move on with my life.
Please, I’m not asking for much, just enough so I can get far away from this place and maybe find shelter somewhere. Maybe in the Pacific Northwest, maybe California… I don’t know anyone, I don’t have any friends… family, they’re sick of me.
$500 seems like a lot to ask of people, but it’s what I was able to live on the last time I was homeless, so if there’s some way I can collect that much I might be able to get out of here. I don’t even know if I need that much, it feels high…
https://ko-fi.com/P5P5CVMJ
I really hesitated to put this up on my tumblr, and I hesitate again to put this up here…
EDIT: OH MY GOD THANK YOU TO GCREEP for the big donation, it means more than you know. I've got a lil spark of hope thanks to you.
UPDATE: Update: So, donations have slowed, and I've decided to take what I can get and run. I'm gonna buy a bus ticket away from here, maybe the Seattle area or something, and go. I'm trying to get a ticket for the lowest price possible, but they keep fluctuating in price, and I probably could have gotten one for less than a hundred if I hadn't hesitated.
I don't have anyone to take me in anywhere, but that's okay. I'm hoping I can at least stay at the homeless shelter a while... maybe.
Bus tickets get cheaper if you buy them a couple weeks out, maybe that'll give me time to plan out what I'm gonna do when I get there.
I have suicidal ideations, and they get stronger every day, especially days when dad is home on the weekends. We keep several guns in the house. I think about ending it a lot, but I don’t want to want to kill myself. But the more time I spend here in this hellhole house with my NIGHTMARE PSYCHO dad, the more I lose the strength to hang on.
If I stay here with my dad too much longer, I am going to take my own life.
But I don’t want to do that.
I need to get away from my dad. I need to get out of here. But last time I tried, I had no money, and I ended up homeless, had to come back home. Fact is, I’m mentally disabled; I’m autistic, and I am dependent on help from someone else in my life to, for the time being, move on with my life.
Please, I’m not asking for much, just enough so I can get far away from this place and maybe find shelter somewhere. Maybe in the Pacific Northwest, maybe California… I don’t know anyone, I don’t have any friends… family, they’re sick of me.
$500 seems like a lot to ask of people, but it’s what I was able to live on the last time I was homeless, so if there’s some way I can collect that much I might be able to get out of here. I don’t even know if I need that much, it feels high…
https://ko-fi.com/P5P5CVMJ
I really hesitated to put this up on my tumblr, and I hesitate again to put this up here…
EDIT: OH MY GOD THANK YOU TO GCREEP for the big donation, it means more than you know. I've got a lil spark of hope thanks to you.
UPDATE: Update: So, donations have slowed, and I've decided to take what I can get and run. I'm gonna buy a bus ticket away from here, maybe the Seattle area or something, and go. I'm trying to get a ticket for the lowest price possible, but they keep fluctuating in price, and I probably could have gotten one for less than a hundred if I hadn't hesitated.
I don't have anyone to take me in anywhere, but that's okay. I'm hoping I can at least stay at the homeless shelter a while... maybe.
Bus tickets get cheaper if you buy them a couple weeks out, maybe that'll give me time to plan out what I'm gonna do when I get there.
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