Hi it's been a while, i know the from the last time i gave a update

i said i work out my workspace so i could start to draw again....,
sadly it didn't last for long even though i got some place to work i have other problems,

i got a butch of cats in my room, i usually only have the one but now i got 2 cats and that cat had 3 kittens so i got 5 cats staying in my room and i just can't draw in this condition the kittens are into everything if i try to draw or do anything on my computer desk it more than likely the kittens will come to investigate,

i can't chuck them out my room cause i can't shut my door it has to stay open all the time, there no where else to put them and having them hang out in the stairway isn't safe for anyone, can't put them down the star cause other pets which is one of them is a male that not been snip even if he goes in and out the house it just too risky, my family can't afford to dress all the cats we have, but my mum is putting off giving up some off the cats cause she want's to keep a kitten,

for context, i like in a 3 bedroom house, we own 1 dog, 4 cats and 3 kittens, with out one cat dressed, plus we are a family of 5 and only my dad works and 3 of us get disability payments.

we are not in a good situation, i can't really do anything in this situation without consequences my mum won't listen to me, if i take matters into my own hands i only acquire my mum's rath,

I could still draw but with irl stress and life i can only really chill on my pc and play some games or watch something i have no energy to draw, i could try to work from some wear else but i would be able to do much i need my computer for some of the work,

honestly I at my wits end i don't know how to deal with this situation i did all i can think off, witch comes to other life problems i am unemployed and not a student, i should look for a job but i don't want to do a job just cause i need one i wouldn't last,

i need to get something i would be able to do long term but it's hard most my still are creative but a lot of creative careers are hard to get jobs for or are competitive,

i still wanna be an artist and animator but i need to find an way to get income or i can't focus on building an portfolio,

i get benefits but i still getting hounded by my mum to get a job, i am mentally and physically exhausted i should probably move out my parents house but then again that also has it's problems and ether way i need to get a job,

i have a lot of responsibilities I'm getting some help with my mental heal finally so the should help, my boyfriend Luxel has been supporting me and i so thankful i have him,

i am sorry for venting and this hiatus also feel bad cause i just haven't be keeping in contact with a lot of my friends only a lot are fellow artists and i am proud of them for doing what they love i just felt shameful for struggling so much to do anything like my love of art is fake so just drifted away from the furry community in general...

i still consider myself a furry and i still love being part of this community, thanks too all my followers that still watch me on what ever platform they do, i will keep trying to hopefully get back to posting regularly, i want to get back to myself the artist part of me that love drawing so much and love sharing it with everyone in our community, well that's all for this update i probably read this over again later and if i have anything to add i update this journal or make a new one, i do hope everyone is doing well hope your year is going better than mine and if you have anything you wanna ask me feel free to or if your a friend that i haven't talk to in a while please message i love to catch up and chat, well this journal was a but of a rabble but thanks to the followers that read the whole thing see ya around till the next update see ya then

from Thundefair~<3