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Welp - I'm a dirty porn writer now (Self-reflect)
2 years ago
Welp - it's official, I'm a dirty porn writer
or forever publicly stained myself for releasing one NSFW story
-that line's been crossed now
Thank goodness for anonymity, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with having bit of fun with imagination. Especially when you do not force, slandering nor encourage anyone into harmful nor evil acts
That's right - so I'm writing with the company of my inner voice - who can be very intrusive and over-enthusiastic child, I want to add
Just to keep you insane in this voiceless vacuum of internet
So, why you write this journal?
In short, something to self-reflect.
To keep record for the future self.
I also want share my mind with the interested viewers, and self-inspiring writers about my own journey
For last 2 months all of these thoughts have been in your head. With no outlet or irl-person to share this with - until now
This also gives a possibility to be open & transparent with my upcoming plans. That includes possibilities with trades and cooperation, but I'm already getting ahead of myself - I'll talk about that down at the bottom
Look at you, Mr. Ambitious. Already eager to draw bigger pictures
Just hold my horses, I'm currently just thinking about it and nothing more - Yet. We're getting too excited and tend to over-promise too much in the heat of moment
Right, right. But back to reflection; It has been quite emotional roller coaster last 2 months, hasn't it?
How do you feel?
Yeah, there definitely have been high and low moments
Mostly great and wonderful with the writing and commissioning works, the lows been with the self-doubts
The highlights been working with the lovely and kind artists has been heart warming - All of us have enjoyed fine-tuning their YCH drawings to match my visions with a jolly co-operation. And how I adore and cherish their arts. There's also been expressed love and happiness that I'm using their art as my story inspiration, and emailTy particular has been very happy and satisfied with my end product.
hm hmm.... wouldn't second commissioned comic page to "Potent Candy" be fantastic idea?
Now hold it! I said, lets not over-promise here - I haven't asked emailTy about that, I need to save my money for next months, and not to mention, there's plenty of commissions coming already
buuuuut there's always a possibility in the future?
Sure, there's always possibility - but I only have a wish for that, but no certain promises from the artist nor money for that particular piece
We're getting off track again, aren't we?
Oops, we sure are
what you say about your writing
I've enjoyed and had fun with the writing, as I've been telling about several time
Overall I'm happy with the main points in "Flowers for the Giantess", and I honestly surprised myself with the "Potent Candy" how it turned out.
With the "Flowers", as a very first story I feel it was meant to be a practice run - reading it again, I think I'll going to re-write it once all the part eventually come together. The core moments although are the things I love about the story and character interactions, so I wouldn't change those parts much. Seriously, wrote my own literal love of the Kadjá character design into the story, and hope that kinda of stuff shines through with my writing - First I saw teh-evil-tigress's YHC of micro giving macro flowers + finding adopt for Kadjá short after - I had to write that shit down. Too bad language barrier and lack of character references prevented getting that particular YCH. But KuroWolfBoy did have wonderful alternative cove art later along the line.
But "Potent Candy", oh I don't think I could have written it any better with my current skills. Having all the character interactions, the growth, the X - I think I prefer these kinds of self-contained stories that are short and sweet
12 pages - you call that short and sweet?
Well, that word account is less than 3 000. It did not have anything extra that I could leave out, and nothing much to add - I think that is good limit to aim + the formatting makes it look longer. Center lined text is unusual, but I think it fits with this story well. Next stories probably won't have that - unless overwhelming feedback demands it
Alright, we're coming to feedback
There's been self-doubts, what about that?
Yes - no doubt every writer and creator have their fears for not finding the audience, or not pleasing the viewers
I'm only looking at my numbers, and not comparing to more popular writers. Even though some of my favorite writers, far better than I am, could get less views and favorites than I do - and vice versa there are far more experienced writers with bigger numbers
Roughly over 200 views, and 10-ish favorites for both stories without picture bait (so excluding Rooftop teaser here), they are nice numbers
-However, I'm more worried about that going from "Mature" to "Adult" stories don't have overlap with the initial watchers. And bigger view numbers can also be just from the novelty and appearance of my thumbnails - not reliably tell if the reader liked it or not.
In general I think I am .... a good writer. Not great, just good - I believer my strengths are with understanding my characters, keeping good story structure with bit of humor and describing all the sensational points in a good way. However, I feel that my pacing might have dragged too much in the "Flowers", or my humor, descriptions, or story beats not hitting with all the viewers - I'll work on proving myself in all writing areas
I know that smaller Macro/micro writers don't get much critiquing comments to the posts, that would be appreciated - but I'll have to continue with the guess work from my numbers like everyone else
But you still appreciate the small amount favoring viewers?
Absolutely! Getting over ten favorites twice tells me that it's not a fluke, and there are interested viewers and watchers. I have thanked, and keep thanking people for that + ones who also given me direct praises for my writing
It encourages me to put my in-head stories and scenes into paper, and showing them openly
So there are few people that genuinely enjoy your stories
- So what next? Did you have some plans?
Right - possible trades and cooperation
for trades - I'm waiting for new adopts to hatch + getting my ´sonas to be drawn - So until that I'll hold any trades for now
for cooperation - I do like lot of Macro/micro YHC's Art. Getting along with SFW types of multi-character YCH's interest me - waiting for more characters for that too
I'm slowly opening up, but you'll have to excuse me for not rushing into this too fast - and surely I need to get to know the people who are interested personally
for coming stories - I'm starting to write one Halloween special, and continue with "Rooftop view", then back to next parts "Flowers for Giantess"
What's going on with me in real person
Currently I am studying 1st year in radiology nursing, and got plenty of spare time to do my writing end of this year
- I am also dealing with brain disease suffering Father. Who still has his memory and other cognitive functions, but is slowly losing his ability to speak. We are starting to learn sign language together - This has been mentally tough occasionally, luckily all of our close circle are adapting into this situation fairly well
Well - uh, that got heavy all of a sudden - Are you alright?
I am feeling alright and fine, thanks for asking - The family situation isn't that bad or daunting. I only wanted to tell that there are some responsibilities that might keep me busy
Top of that I'm also getting back to hiking and nature along with a camera - there's few pictures in my SFW account already
That's good to hear - OK, maybe we can wrap it up, and end our deep conversation
Yes, and thank anyone who actually read all this through - it was only personal, therapeutic outlet to unpack some of my thoughts and feelings
Take care all of you, and have a pleasent day
or forever publicly stained myself for releasing one NSFW story
-that line's been crossed now
Thank goodness for anonymity, eh? Not that there's anything wrong with having bit of fun with imagination. Especially when you do not force, slandering nor encourage anyone into harmful nor evil acts
That's right - so I'm writing with the company of my inner voice - who can be very intrusive and over-enthusiastic child, I want to add
Just to keep you insane in this voiceless vacuum of internet
So, why you write this journal?
In short, something to self-reflect.
To keep record for the future self.
I also want share my mind with the interested viewers, and self-inspiring writers about my own journey
For last 2 months all of these thoughts have been in your head. With no outlet or irl-person to share this with - until now
This also gives a possibility to be open & transparent with my upcoming plans. That includes possibilities with trades and cooperation, but I'm already getting ahead of myself - I'll talk about that down at the bottom
Look at you, Mr. Ambitious. Already eager to draw bigger pictures
Just hold my horses, I'm currently just thinking about it and nothing more - Yet. We're getting too excited and tend to over-promise too much in the heat of moment
Right, right. But back to reflection; It has been quite emotional roller coaster last 2 months, hasn't it?
How do you feel?
Yeah, there definitely have been high and low moments
Mostly great and wonderful with the writing and commissioning works, the lows been with the self-doubts
The highlights been working with the lovely and kind artists has been heart warming - All of us have enjoyed fine-tuning their YCH drawings to match my visions with a jolly co-operation. And how I adore and cherish their arts. There's also been expressed love and happiness that I'm using their art as my story inspiration, and emailTy particular has been very happy and satisfied with my end product.
hm hmm.... wouldn't second commissioned comic page to "Potent Candy" be fantastic idea?
Now hold it! I said, lets not over-promise here - I haven't asked emailTy about that, I need to save my money for next months, and not to mention, there's plenty of commissions coming already
buuuuut there's always a possibility in the future?
Sure, there's always possibility - but I only have a wish for that, but no certain promises from the artist nor money for that particular piece
We're getting off track again, aren't we?
Oops, we sure are
what you say about your writing
I've enjoyed and had fun with the writing, as I've been telling about several time
Overall I'm happy with the main points in "Flowers for the Giantess", and I honestly surprised myself with the "Potent Candy" how it turned out.
With the "Flowers", as a very first story I feel it was meant to be a practice run - reading it again, I think I'll going to re-write it once all the part eventually come together. The core moments although are the things I love about the story and character interactions, so I wouldn't change those parts much. Seriously, wrote my own literal love of the Kadjá character design into the story, and hope that kinda of stuff shines through with my writing - First I saw teh-evil-tigress's YHC of micro giving macro flowers + finding adopt for Kadjá short after - I had to write that shit down. Too bad language barrier and lack of character references prevented getting that particular YCH. But KuroWolfBoy did have wonderful alternative cove art later along the line.
But "Potent Candy", oh I don't think I could have written it any better with my current skills. Having all the character interactions, the growth, the X - I think I prefer these kinds of self-contained stories that are short and sweet
12 pages - you call that short and sweet?
Well, that word account is less than 3 000. It did not have anything extra that I could leave out, and nothing much to add - I think that is good limit to aim + the formatting makes it look longer. Center lined text is unusual, but I think it fits with this story well. Next stories probably won't have that - unless overwhelming feedback demands it
Alright, we're coming to feedback
There's been self-doubts, what about that?
Yes - no doubt every writer and creator have their fears for not finding the audience, or not pleasing the viewers
I'm only looking at my numbers, and not comparing to more popular writers. Even though some of my favorite writers, far better than I am, could get less views and favorites than I do - and vice versa there are far more experienced writers with bigger numbers
Roughly over 200 views, and 10-ish favorites for both stories without picture bait (so excluding Rooftop teaser here), they are nice numbers
-However, I'm more worried about that going from "Mature" to "Adult" stories don't have overlap with the initial watchers. And bigger view numbers can also be just from the novelty and appearance of my thumbnails - not reliably tell if the reader liked it or not.
In general I think I am .... a good writer. Not great, just good - I believer my strengths are with understanding my characters, keeping good story structure with bit of humor and describing all the sensational points in a good way. However, I feel that my pacing might have dragged too much in the "Flowers", or my humor, descriptions, or story beats not hitting with all the viewers - I'll work on proving myself in all writing areas
I know that smaller Macro/micro writers don't get much critiquing comments to the posts, that would be appreciated - but I'll have to continue with the guess work from my numbers like everyone else
But you still appreciate the small amount favoring viewers?
Absolutely! Getting over ten favorites twice tells me that it's not a fluke, and there are interested viewers and watchers. I have thanked, and keep thanking people for that + ones who also given me direct praises for my writing
It encourages me to put my in-head stories and scenes into paper, and showing them openly
So there are few people that genuinely enjoy your stories
- So what next? Did you have some plans?
Right - possible trades and cooperation
for trades - I'm waiting for new adopts to hatch + getting my ´sonas to be drawn - So until that I'll hold any trades for now
for cooperation - I do like lot of Macro/micro YHC's Art. Getting along with SFW types of multi-character YCH's interest me - waiting for more characters for that too
I'm slowly opening up, but you'll have to excuse me for not rushing into this too fast - and surely I need to get to know the people who are interested personally
for coming stories - I'm starting to write one Halloween special, and continue with "Rooftop view", then back to next parts "Flowers for Giantess"
What's going on with me in real person
Currently I am studying 1st year in radiology nursing, and got plenty of spare time to do my writing end of this year
- I am also dealing with brain disease suffering Father. Who still has his memory and other cognitive functions, but is slowly losing his ability to speak. We are starting to learn sign language together - This has been mentally tough occasionally, luckily all of our close circle are adapting into this situation fairly well
Well - uh, that got heavy all of a sudden - Are you alright?
I am feeling alright and fine, thanks for asking - The family situation isn't that bad or daunting. I only wanted to tell that there are some responsibilities that might keep me busy
Top of that I'm also getting back to hiking and nature along with a camera - there's few pictures in my SFW account already
That's good to hear - OK, maybe we can wrap it up, and end our deep conversation
Yes, and thank anyone who actually read all this through - it was only personal, therapeutic outlet to unpack some of my thoughts and feelings
Take care all of you, and have a pleasent day
I'll watch your account to read more journals like this and... Ta-da! The two next years I'll be reading it all! I'm really eager to see the effort and passion you put in your stories.
Thanks again for ensuring me that all under age watchers should have automatic mature/adult filters on ^^