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About Our System - FAQ
2 years ago
I realised that we don't have much info about our system here on FA so I figured I'd use a Journal as a means to share information and answer questions. If you would like to ask us anything you're more than welcome to comment and we'll get to it when we can. <3
What is a system? What does any of this mean?
In short, a system is when there are multiple distinct consciousnesses sharing a brain and body.
There are a lot of ways that systems can form and function. We were purposefully created by our abusers as a very young child and endured a lot of trauma from basically birth to age 20 or so. We've never been in a position to get a diagnosis but we are a textbook definition of Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Because of this, we are quite prone to new alters coming into existence, otherwise known as splitting. Last time we counted we're in the 400-500s in terms of total alter count, though only a fraction of those front regularly.
We do experience memory loss between alters. Our regular fronting circle generally speaking is pretty good at communicating within itself and getting the basics shared but sudden unexpected switches, or switching with alters outside that circle, can cause much greater amnesia.
Will you talk/answer questions about your trauma?
Maybe, maybe not. We are quite open about what happened on a surface level, but we only really go in depth if it comes up in conversation or with our very closest friends and partners. Generally speaking we won't answer questions from strangers about the trauma itself since you'd be amazed how many people are willing to fetishise that kind of thing. :\
Can I talk to (specific alter)?
Probably! But you may have to wait if they aren't currently near front. We do enjoy being individually acknowledged and spoken to since we are different people. :)
I see a lot of names I recognise in your fronter list. Is that blorbo from my shows?
Yes and no. We are quite fictive heavy (a lot of our alters have an identity taken from existing fictional media), but generally speaking they are not 1:1 copies and of course like any person they can grow over time and diverge even further from their source counterparts. We all would appreciate if you didn't treat them as fictional characters, they are real people with their own feelings, motivations and dreams!
Who is the core/original alter?
We don't know! And we don't particularly want to know. If we ever even had one haha. People put the concept of an "original alter" on such a pedestal as if that's who we should strive to be and to integrate into, but that's just not how it works for us.
Who are Cat and Shay?
Cat, Shay and a third OC (blue butterfly dragon) are our "collective" sonas. They represent us as a whole and the different "modes" people might see in us.
Cat represents our introverted and soft spoken alters. They just want to cuddle and mom on their friends.
Shay represents our more extroverted and bold alters. They represent the parts of us that are punk and sexual and unafraid to be.
The Dragon is less a representation of alters and more a representation of our journey. Of the magic we have in our head and of the path we wish to tread. They'll get a name eventually!
Current regular fronters (as of Oct. 2023):
df: Deku - Green Furfrou (he/him) - co-host
ts: Shouto - Kantonian/Alolan Ninetales (he/him) - co-host
sp: Stormpelt - Snow Leopard/Tiger Chakat (shi/hir) - gatekeeper/protector
ads: Roseheart - King Cheetah Chakat (he/him or shi/hir) - gatekeeper/psychosis holder
mf: Morgan - Kitsune-Dragon (any) - social alter
zf: Zeref - Dark Purple Kitsune (he/him) - secretary
lu: Lucian - Bright Yellow Kitsune (he/they) - trauma holder & bone-fide cuddlebug
lock: Lock - Dark Yellow Kitsune (they/them) - trauma holder
r: Red - Purple Kitsune (any) - retired host, adorable
TT: Dirk - Caracal (he/they) - retired host & protector
AT: Hal - Red and Black Synth (it/its) - memory secretary and bringer of chaos
data: Datamine - Yellow and Pink Synth (it/its) - sexual alter
ez: Erza - Red Lucario (she/her) - trauma holder & retired protector
ll: Lucy - Sylveon (she/her) - social alter
rei: Rei - Clouded Leopard (he/fae) - comfort and Good Vibes™
That's all I can think to write off the top of my head. If you want to ask specific questions below this journal feel free to! Chances are we will respond with the code next to our names to denote who's talking.
What is a system? What does any of this mean?
In short, a system is when there are multiple distinct consciousnesses sharing a brain and body.
There are a lot of ways that systems can form and function. We were purposefully created by our abusers as a very young child and endured a lot of trauma from basically birth to age 20 or so. We've never been in a position to get a diagnosis but we are a textbook definition of Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Because of this, we are quite prone to new alters coming into existence, otherwise known as splitting. Last time we counted we're in the 400-500s in terms of total alter count, though only a fraction of those front regularly.
We do experience memory loss between alters. Our regular fronting circle generally speaking is pretty good at communicating within itself and getting the basics shared but sudden unexpected switches, or switching with alters outside that circle, can cause much greater amnesia.
Will you talk/answer questions about your trauma?
Maybe, maybe not. We are quite open about what happened on a surface level, but we only really go in depth if it comes up in conversation or with our very closest friends and partners. Generally speaking we won't answer questions from strangers about the trauma itself since you'd be amazed how many people are willing to fetishise that kind of thing. :\
Can I talk to (specific alter)?
Probably! But you may have to wait if they aren't currently near front. We do enjoy being individually acknowledged and spoken to since we are different people. :)
I see a lot of names I recognise in your fronter list. Is that blorbo from my shows?
Yes and no. We are quite fictive heavy (a lot of our alters have an identity taken from existing fictional media), but generally speaking they are not 1:1 copies and of course like any person they can grow over time and diverge even further from their source counterparts. We all would appreciate if you didn't treat them as fictional characters, they are real people with their own feelings, motivations and dreams!
Who is the core/original alter?
We don't know! And we don't particularly want to know. If we ever even had one haha. People put the concept of an "original alter" on such a pedestal as if that's who we should strive to be and to integrate into, but that's just not how it works for us.
Who are Cat and Shay?
Cat, Shay and a third OC (blue butterfly dragon) are our "collective" sonas. They represent us as a whole and the different "modes" people might see in us.
Cat represents our introverted and soft spoken alters. They just want to cuddle and mom on their friends.
Shay represents our more extroverted and bold alters. They represent the parts of us that are punk and sexual and unafraid to be.
The Dragon is less a representation of alters and more a representation of our journey. Of the magic we have in our head and of the path we wish to tread. They'll get a name eventually!
Current regular fronters (as of Oct. 2023):
df: Deku - Green Furfrou (he/him) - co-host
ts: Shouto - Kantonian/Alolan Ninetales (he/him) - co-host
sp: Stormpelt - Snow Leopard/Tiger Chakat (shi/hir) - gatekeeper/protector
ads: Roseheart - King Cheetah Chakat (he/him or shi/hir) - gatekeeper/psychosis holder
mf: Morgan - Kitsune-Dragon (any) - social alter
zf: Zeref - Dark Purple Kitsune (he/him) - secretary
lu: Lucian - Bright Yellow Kitsune (he/they) - trauma holder & bone-fide cuddlebug
lock: Lock - Dark Yellow Kitsune (they/them) - trauma holder
r: Red - Purple Kitsune (any) - retired host, adorable
TT: Dirk - Caracal (he/they) - retired host & protector
AT: Hal - Red and Black Synth (it/its) - memory secretary and bringer of chaos
data: Datamine - Yellow and Pink Synth (it/its) - sexual alter
ez: Erza - Red Lucario (she/her) - trauma holder & retired protector
ll: Lucy - Sylveon (she/her) - social alter
rei: Rei - Clouded Leopard (he/fae) - comfort and Good Vibes™
That's all I can think to write off the top of my head. If you want to ask specific questions below this journal feel free to! Chances are we will respond with the code next to our names to denote who's talking.
Also, it's comforting hearing from another splitting prone system... even if it's on a totally different order of magnitude.
Thankfully we have the 50 or so alters who swap in and out of our regular fronting circle pretty much clued in on the day to day and major life events at this point, that's what's helped the most. The rest only ever front once in a blue moon if at all.
We have a lot of alters and fragments hidden away deep in other layers of the system from when alters were still being intentionally created and that's what makes up the bulk of that number. With therapy we're hoping to get it pared down to a more manageable say... 200 or so. Maybe even 100 with time.
Honestly we'd love to have a chat with y'all sometime just to compare notes on system operations; we get the feeling our system structure is very different to y'all, and we like learning how different systems work to broaden our own horizons as it were.
If you'd ever like to chat, feel free to add us on Discord (thecatherd)! We tend to not have the energy for small talk but discussing system stuff is always of interest to us.
2. Thank you for putting this up, I don't know much about the condition but I'm trying my best to learn and be understanding. I don't have DID, I do suffer from psychosis and have had moments where I'm not myself or have forcibly regressed but I don't believe I have DID and I thank you for educating further. I hope that made sense...
3. Also thank you so much for being so open and answering questions! That really helps educate and, as someone who does my best to educate others on my own issues, I appreciate your education.
Hope you have a wonderful day!~
We absolutely believe in education being core in the fight against bigotry and sensationalism. We're happy to help with that where we can, within our boundaries. :>
I appreciate your wanting to learn and understand. What you said makes complete sense, it's a pretty common occurance for people with childhood trauma, plural and singlet alike. We support trauma regressors doing whatever helps them to feel comfortable and safe on their path to recovery.
Have a wonderful day yourself. ^w^