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Im doing better... (Thankfully)
2 years ago
I lost 6 pounds since starting Diabetes treatment with Metformin in early July -- 65 to go to reach a modest 210. (I should be under 200lb though for being 5' 11" but that weight isn't realistic right now).
Im still struggling with high blood sugar readings (averaging 9.2 over 14 days) so I'm on Ozempec now too. (Injecting myself is "interesting"). Only been on it for a few weeks so still in transition on it.
Working on diet too but its a "work in progress" as I wait for the "SDA" to be approved by ODSP. (So I can go back to the gym and have more money for more veggies and fruits)
My liver is inflamed though by "severe fattiness"--Which may be diet related--but I'm waiting to see a stomach / digestive specialist for further testing.
Alongside my "moderate anemia" they are both issues. My Iron is normal though, so I'm not "bleeding" from anywhere at the moment.
I was wrong about the CPAP machine issue too, believe it or not. Turns out I CAN snuggle a plush with it on. Its just I cant let it touch my face, or it'll interfere with the mask; which breaks the "seal" and stresses the machine (I need really high pressure because the machine literally becomes a ventilator at times for me). This is true even if i sleep on my side--though I sleep on my back more with my plush in one arm at the level of mid-chest. I can have him up to my neck on one side as well--(opposite to the side my nightstand is on with the machine)--since the hose I have is extremely long.
Jury is still out on what'll happen if water gets into the hose though...
...Rather expensive distilled water that I need 12L a month of (since my machine uses 300CC a night lol).
Money has stabilized with the SDA and additional credit access. So right now, I'm financially self-sufficient. In debt a bit, but I'm surviving. Hopefully this continues for a while.
I'm feeling less stressed and anxious these past few months and my outlook has improved. My past still haunts me and keeps me up some nights but its not all the time. I wish I could do more than just help my aging parents... or sit on my computer and randomly watch YouTube... (or sleep with my Pikachu plushie...) but maybe with the gym I can be a bit more out of the house for excercise. I may have a bit more money to see a movie or buy a game i like too... (Though i dont play much games anymore...)
I need a new computer too as one of the USB3.0 headers on my 14-yr-old 'mobo has broken pins x.x~
--
Im also less likely inclined to even THINK about applying for a medically assisted death. I get fleeting thoughts occasionally but my friendships are much stronger now (as strong as they have ever been in my life!) and I realize how much harm to others this would cause. This makes me take the "honourable path"political martyrdom and "fight to the end" for them--If not for myself ...and possibly cause more progress to be made.
With the promises of the current government in charge of Canada too (with the Autism Strategy development mandate and Federal Disability Benefit Bills among other things) societal progress is occurring--but slowly. A change of government is all but guarantee now (with the political climate federally) next election though. So we will see if this "progress" (or shift to the "left" as some call it) is halted or continued.
Provincially though; looks like the "Pillsbury Dough Boy" is gonna get a third 4 year-term--despite 'bullcrap'. A "double-blue
will make life even harder for me and the other 600k or so of people who are on the ODSP and cannot work due to their disabilities as social policy will continue to erode.
(stories like this: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/wind.....sidy-1.7011008 for example, mean I could be next to lose my 5-600 in rent subsidies--or my unit to "renoviction" or other issue. That would leave me homeless, or like $10 left a month for food, no internet, power bill ...or phone. That is if I can find a "safe" and "affordable" single unit at all. Without having to room with a "druggie," or "cleptomaniac;" or worse: face institutionalization, at least.)
I still reserve my right to make commentary if things go wrong because of this. It makes me banned from a lot of places, people, and recreational activities; but my existence is a "crime against nature" anyways. I'm gonna be hated enough to be shot in some places for "existing" and I have to live with that..
I am hopeful though things will get better-- and PERMANENTLY so... Without having to 'set myself on fire' again.
~~Hopefully!!
Im still struggling with high blood sugar readings (averaging 9.2 over 14 days) so I'm on Ozempec now too. (Injecting myself is "interesting"). Only been on it for a few weeks so still in transition on it.
Working on diet too but its a "work in progress" as I wait for the "SDA" to be approved by ODSP. (So I can go back to the gym and have more money for more veggies and fruits)
My liver is inflamed though by "severe fattiness"--Which may be diet related--but I'm waiting to see a stomach / digestive specialist for further testing.
Alongside my "moderate anemia" they are both issues. My Iron is normal though, so I'm not "bleeding" from anywhere at the moment.
I was wrong about the CPAP machine issue too, believe it or not. Turns out I CAN snuggle a plush with it on. Its just I cant let it touch my face, or it'll interfere with the mask; which breaks the "seal" and stresses the machine (I need really high pressure because the machine literally becomes a ventilator at times for me). This is true even if i sleep on my side--though I sleep on my back more with my plush in one arm at the level of mid-chest. I can have him up to my neck on one side as well--(opposite to the side my nightstand is on with the machine)--since the hose I have is extremely long.
Jury is still out on what'll happen if water gets into the hose though...
...Rather expensive distilled water that I need 12L a month of (since my machine uses 300CC a night lol).
Money has stabilized with the SDA and additional credit access. So right now, I'm financially self-sufficient. In debt a bit, but I'm surviving. Hopefully this continues for a while.
I'm feeling less stressed and anxious these past few months and my outlook has improved. My past still haunts me and keeps me up some nights but its not all the time. I wish I could do more than just help my aging parents... or sit on my computer and randomly watch YouTube... (or sleep with my Pikachu plushie...) but maybe with the gym I can be a bit more out of the house for excercise. I may have a bit more money to see a movie or buy a game i like too... (Though i dont play much games anymore...)
I need a new computer too as one of the USB3.0 headers on my 14-yr-old 'mobo has broken pins x.x~
--
Im also less likely inclined to even THINK about applying for a medically assisted death. I get fleeting thoughts occasionally but my friendships are much stronger now (as strong as they have ever been in my life!) and I realize how much harm to others this would cause. This makes me take the "honourable path"
With the promises of the current government in charge of Canada too (with the Autism Strategy development mandate and Federal Disability Benefit Bills among other things) societal progress is occurring--but slowly. A change of government is all but guarantee now (with the political climate federally) next election though. So we will see if this "progress" (or shift to the "left" as some call it) is halted or continued.
Provincially though; looks like the "Pillsbury Dough Boy" is gonna get a third 4 year-term--despite 'bullcrap'. A "double-blue
will make life even harder for me and the other 600k or so of people who are on the ODSP and cannot work due to their disabilities as social policy will continue to erode.
(stories like this: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/wind.....sidy-1.7011008 for example, mean I could be next to lose my 5-600 in rent subsidies--or my unit to "renoviction" or other issue. That would leave me homeless, or like $10 left a month for food, no internet, power bill ...or phone. That is if I can find a "safe" and "affordable" single unit at all. Without having to room with a "druggie," or "cleptomaniac;" or worse: face institutionalization, at least.)
I still reserve my right to make commentary if things go wrong because of this. It makes me banned from a lot of places, people, and recreational activities; but my existence is a "crime against nature" anyways. I'm gonna be hated enough to be shot in some places for "existing" and I have to live with that..
I am hopeful though things will get better-- and PERMANENTLY so... Without having to 'set myself on fire' again.
~~Hopefully!!
