I am tired, I don't have the strength to keep fighting, I take a lot of antidepressants but they don't help, my physical health is getting worse every month, it's getting harder and harder for me to find the strength to be at least just productive without demanding any super results from myself. I don't know what to do, I will try to draw all your commissions, but if my psyche can cope with moving on I don't know, I don't see a way out anymore, sorry to make you feel bad and wait so long for illustrations from me, I really wish I could be more productive, I really try, i'm sorry, I have nightmares every day and I wake up from that. I don't know what's happening to me