I have been keeping up with my newest routine pretty well. My overall energy and mood have been much better. My knee pain is nearly gone, and I feel so much more present. My voice has returned as well - for a bit there, I preferred to stay out of conversations. Now I am finding myself actually engaging myself in them. My confidence has improved, and the days keep getting better. I have focused most of my energy into school and organizing things like emails and finances.

There is just one thing that is always in the back of my mind - I am alone. And I am really, really exhausted being alone. Perhaps my efforts should now be put into researching how to have a successful relationship. As I am getting closer and closer to 30, it is a bit scary thinking about how little I understand about relationships. I suppose back then I did not have time to think about it. My thoughts were to just have a roof over my head for many, many years.

And that comes to my conclusion. I am straight. I will support LGBTQ for as long as I live, but I do prefer females. I dunno, I lived around females all of my life and I have always gravitated toward them. One of my dreams is to create a family that I never had as well. I know that sucks to hear from some people, but it is true. I think I have felt it in my heart for the longest time. Just writing this alleviates some of the pressure I've felt exploring with others and my own writing.

I am going to keep pushing through this wild time in my life. I feel like I am on an upward spiral. There have been some hard decisions I've had to make for myself recently but I think they needed to be done. Discipline is something that I was lacking for quite a long time. It has been difficult to force myself to get out of bed and find motivation to work out and stuff, but at the end of it I feel amazing.