With my birthday coming up this Friday, idk if I'll be able to enjoy it.

recently, due to my autistic nature, things aren't going well for me. I try to appreciate the good things, but got overshadowed by the bad things. Like in League, no matter who I'm up against, everyone shreds me and I can't recover from it. Many times, when I get ousted by my opponents, I try to invite them in order to get some help on how to "git gud" But, when that happens, everybody else seems to hog the spotlight, but never me. Whenever I go 0/5 or 0/10, I flat out gave up trying, and I had no idea Riot was super strict about griefers, inters, and afkers. I had no recovery on what needs to be done when I'm this behind, and as a result, my 2 PC accounts got permabanned. I was very very very VERY heartbroken after that.

And also, throughout here, I've done several commissions to other artists, but no one could be able to do some art featuring one of MY OC's. That would make a good gift for me, but I don't have any dough for that to happen.

Sigh.

Somehow, deep within my heart, I just wish... for something so amazing, so fantastic, and so spectacular, that would spark a little flicker of hope that I have something to live for.