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The life after su**idal attempt exists | P2P Consulting
2 years ago
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Hey, sophynelle is here!
There were a lot of really horrible episodes and days and situations too, but I`m still here, I`m still alive and day by day, step by step I`m working, learning new skills, becoming a more careful person with a lot of self-love, self-awareness and self-support. And after 3 weeks I want to tell you - the life after su**ide attempt exists. Recently I started to eat food and I feel the taste of food! I really love to eat lobiani (it`s a Georgian bun with lobio, and I love it so much), I really love cheese, I love orange juice and lemon sorbet!
I`m on my healing way and there will be days when I`ll be feeling worse than now, and there will be days when I`ll be feeling better, but I`m honestly sure, that with all my new skills at the present and in future, I`ll be more healthy.
Now I am here, and only supportive people around me, they`re caring about my condition, my mood, my feelings. I`m talking a lot about friendship and not only that, and I`m so proud of myself because I see how strong I am, how strong my body and my psychic to bear all of that. And I`m still alive!
So many people behaved badly with me - my partner was kicked me out of our own apartment which we rented together, while I was in hospital after my suicidal attempt. I was kicked out of my job - some of my colleagues are psychophobic, unfortunately, I didn`t know about that. But I`m still alive! And I really believe in myself.
When I decided to end myself, it felt like only one right decision, because since my Papa died, I have lived my life only with my self-support resources. Then - C-PTSD diagnosis, and then I have been tried to save my own relationship, but my partner lied to me. And in one day my self-support had ended. Even with psychiatric help. Even with psychotherapy. I tired to believe in myself, I thought that the whole world was disappearing under my feet. And it was too painful, so I`ve decided to do that. But I`m still alive. Even in that case, I was sure that nobody come to me. But somebody did. And I`m here, texting all this wall to you all.
I want to tell you one good, supportive thing, that you should always keep in your heart - you all have yourself, and you all are so strong, so beautiful, and no one can make you sure that`s not true.
I`m studying on Peer2Peer Consulting right now. And my experience with the stigmatization of my situation, with aggression to people who had suicidal attempts, is my motivation right now. It's my motivation to be an example, to be a support for those, who feel destuctive thoughts, who want to give up, who want to make a self-harm things. I want to tell you - I know how it is, I hear all of you, I understand you, and your feelings and thoughts are not something that shouldn`t be validated.
If you want to share your feelings, your thoughts, tell me about your worries, and your life experience, maybe you have a depressive episode - please, don`t be shy to text me. I have enough skills to hear you, to support you. Feel yourself not alright - is not a shame. Your feelings are not a shame. I can give you a little consultation and long conversations day by day and just a friendly chat, and that will be free. Everyone should be validated.
Thank you for reading me and that you are still here. That`s so appreciated by me. I`m sending friendly and supportive hugs to everyone. Please, stay safe and take care of yourself. <3
There were a lot of really horrible episodes and days and situations too, but I`m still here, I`m still alive and day by day, step by step I`m working, learning new skills, becoming a more careful person with a lot of self-love, self-awareness and self-support. And after 3 weeks I want to tell you - the life after su**ide attempt exists. Recently I started to eat food and I feel the taste of food! I really love to eat lobiani (it`s a Georgian bun with lobio, and I love it so much), I really love cheese, I love orange juice and lemon sorbet!
I`m on my healing way and there will be days when I`ll be feeling worse than now, and there will be days when I`ll be feeling better, but I`m honestly sure, that with all my new skills at the present and in future, I`ll be more healthy.
Now I am here, and only supportive people around me, they`re caring about my condition, my mood, my feelings. I`m talking a lot about friendship and not only that, and I`m so proud of myself because I see how strong I am, how strong my body and my psychic to bear all of that. And I`m still alive!
So many people behaved badly with me - my partner was kicked me out of our own apartment which we rented together, while I was in hospital after my suicidal attempt. I was kicked out of my job - some of my colleagues are psychophobic, unfortunately, I didn`t know about that. But I`m still alive! And I really believe in myself.
When I decided to end myself, it felt like only one right decision, because since my Papa died, I have lived my life only with my self-support resources. Then - C-PTSD diagnosis, and then I have been tried to save my own relationship, but my partner lied to me. And in one day my self-support had ended. Even with psychiatric help. Even with psychotherapy. I tired to believe in myself, I thought that the whole world was disappearing under my feet. And it was too painful, so I`ve decided to do that. But I`m still alive. Even in that case, I was sure that nobody come to me. But somebody did. And I`m here, texting all this wall to you all.
I want to tell you one good, supportive thing, that you should always keep in your heart - you all have yourself, and you all are so strong, so beautiful, and no one can make you sure that`s not true.
I`m studying on Peer2Peer Consulting right now. And my experience with the stigmatization of my situation, with aggression to people who had suicidal attempts, is my motivation right now. It's my motivation to be an example, to be a support for those, who feel destuctive thoughts, who want to give up, who want to make a self-harm things. I want to tell you - I know how it is, I hear all of you, I understand you, and your feelings and thoughts are not something that shouldn`t be validated.
If you want to share your feelings, your thoughts, tell me about your worries, and your life experience, maybe you have a depressive episode - please, don`t be shy to text me. I have enough skills to hear you, to support you. Feel yourself not alright - is not a shame. Your feelings are not a shame. I can give you a little consultation and long conversations day by day and just a friendly chat, and that will be free. Everyone should be validated.
Thank you for reading me and that you are still here. That`s so appreciated by me. I`m sending friendly and supportive hugs to everyone. Please, stay safe and take care of yourself. <3
Я очень радуюсь, что в такой ситуации ты находишь способ поддержать себя, ведь это действительно очень важно и про заботу к себе! Лобио и лобиани действительно спасают мир! Шлю тебе все возможные слова поддержки, ты восхитительная <3
у меня есть мечта - учиться в польше и переехать туда. а теперь про грузию.
во-первых финансово было очень сложно жить в тбилиси, я как-то с этим мирилась. но потом оказалось, что я не смогу поступить в университет ни в грузии, ни в польше, потому что у меня крымское образование (ЛОЛ), а оно нелегально заграницей. и пришлось срочно возвращаться и поступать в россию, чтобы потом с легальным русским образованием поступать в польшу :(
и самое тяжелое, что на всё это нужно несколько лет. если я выживу то обязательно поеду в польшу учиться и моя мечта сбудется
I hope you're doing alright too!
I've not been great myself, but I've never quite gotten to the point of suicide... Been on strong antidepressants for years, but recently had an unplanned break from them (was late realising I needed more, doc dragged his heels issuing the prescription, and the pharmacy I use took days to sort it... Today is day 11 without any (got them today, but need to slowly build up the dose again). So. Last few days have been a complete mess of testosterone fuelled rage one minute, and trying to to cry at the slightest provocation the next :D
It DID give me an amazing comedy moment though! I never in my life thought I would yell at my kettle "YOU DO NOT WANT TO FUCKING TEST ME!" simply because I flicked the switch to boil the water, but it flicked off again ;)
Keep slogging! Life is generally worth it, though it may not seem so at the time :)
Think of the people your hurting when you do it
When I'm down i Always remember a line from Deltarune's OST (Specifically Jevil's Theme World Revolving) Jevil says "I Can do anything" when i loop this in my head i continue on my art