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Not sure anymore
2 years ago
I'm not sure anymore I keep rying to have be happy or even enjoy things but I can't cause why my mom reminds me that I'm a bad person I don't try to be but she finds a way
Oh we had lots of drinks but now we don't blame me
Oh I forgot to say we needed something to go with dinner the blame goes on me
Oh the pets need eater instead of doing cause they see it they'll come to my room and say you never did this even though it's short not be my constant job since I don’t want to own half of them it's not that I hate them but there is 7 of them and it seems mostly on me to care for them and if I don't I get blamed for being lazy and in some cases worthless
I try so hard to be positive and even keep positive around others but cause my mom has made me feel so negative at times I have made mistakes I wish I could take back cause I hurt some I honestly can't say I'm sorry to I mean I made a stupid joke in a server upsetting a lot of people and I feel more worse for it.
I know there journal is all over but I just don't anymore having ADHD and asburgers or how ever it's spelt make things hard cause guess what my mom knows I have these problems and yet she thinks I can respond normally......I can't I keep making mistakes I keep doing things I try to stop I try everything to be better but instead of being positive she drags me down to feel worse it doesn't help that o fight depression and when she took me to a um head doctor and was told my problem she told me to just get over it instead of getting me help cause she thinks I need to be more like my brother and I'm not him
The thing is I'm just done I'm tired of feeling like a bad guy when I want to be happy I'm tired of the only safe place being my home feeling like a place to fear I'm tired of her threats against me for trying to be a good sun but where can I go most of my family have problems of there own rn and really even if they daw this what can be done cause if my mom sees or hears about this I'll just be made more of a bad guy then ever cause she makes everything seem worse for her then anyone else I'm not trying to do that but anymore.......
I'm just not sure anymore
Oh we had lots of drinks but now we don't blame me
Oh I forgot to say we needed something to go with dinner the blame goes on me
Oh the pets need eater instead of doing cause they see it they'll come to my room and say you never did this even though it's short not be my constant job since I don’t want to own half of them it's not that I hate them but there is 7 of them and it seems mostly on me to care for them and if I don't I get blamed for being lazy and in some cases worthless
I try so hard to be positive and even keep positive around others but cause my mom has made me feel so negative at times I have made mistakes I wish I could take back cause I hurt some I honestly can't say I'm sorry to I mean I made a stupid joke in a server upsetting a lot of people and I feel more worse for it.
I know there journal is all over but I just don't anymore having ADHD and asburgers or how ever it's spelt make things hard cause guess what my mom knows I have these problems and yet she thinks I can respond normally......I can't I keep making mistakes I keep doing things I try to stop I try everything to be better but instead of being positive she drags me down to feel worse it doesn't help that o fight depression and when she took me to a um head doctor and was told my problem she told me to just get over it instead of getting me help cause she thinks I need to be more like my brother and I'm not him
The thing is I'm just done I'm tired of feeling like a bad guy when I want to be happy I'm tired of the only safe place being my home feeling like a place to fear I'm tired of her threats against me for trying to be a good sun but where can I go most of my family have problems of there own rn and really even if they daw this what can be done cause if my mom sees or hears about this I'll just be made more of a bad guy then ever cause she makes everything seem worse for her then anyone else I'm not trying to do that but anymore.......
I'm just not sure anymore
Don't worry, I don't know what the future is going to be. But all I know it's better to hold your head high, pick up the little bits and pieces of positivity, and just give each new day a fresh start with a smile.. And if it turns out to be a shit day, then look forward to the next, because it all starts again the next morning.
You can do it, you got my support.