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thx everyone, im trying to do better u.u
2 years ago
thanks everyone for the supportive replies on my last journal. and thank you to a really sweet donor who prefers to remain anonymous for helping lift some money anxiety too. sometimes, even still, ya boy winds up Going Through It.
another factor was my old lady cat was really suffering due to arthritis, and as long timers know ren is basically my rock. shes been with me almost nonstop since 2008, but that also means she's really getting up there. her kidneys are *okay* (we do subderm fluid injections 2x a week and shes on a kidneysupport diet) but her arthritis has always been early onset and bad. her meds (solencia) wore off and she woke up literally screaming and hissing in pain and could barely move the following day. it was really scary for us as her humans, and even for the other elder cat (luna!) who wouldnt leave her side and wanted to guard her from the kitten. not that audrey would ever be so cruel as to pick on someone feeling unwell!
anyway we were able to turn up the heat which helped her a lot, and get her the solencia again which will also help. but watching the sweet old lady ive known for so long age is a stressor too. it leads to moments of weakness crying into the void.
ultimately it was a really wholesome hannukah week. my friend sent me a hyena plushie, another friend got me a hoodie. i got a pin coming from another friend... and furcadia put the hollydrake avatar on sale which made me really happy because i think its my fav new designed avatar returning after 10 years of not playing.
i'm working on some comics for straviios, and more book art for codelizard - i'm trying to reach a point of stable enough life nonsense to return to streaming.
just wrapped xmas gifts today, trying not to let the fact that theres family-history-concerning medical testing happening to me between now and then get to me too much. it actually feels in some ways a great deal like new years eve 2007-2008 in a strange way... but maybe all that means is i desperately want to walk around a japanese department store (when DONT i) and listen to the Polyphonic Spree.
be well, i hope no one was scared for me. ive been here 41 years, my own hand cant turn against me with so little resistance.
not shonen enough? i should get back to reading one piece
another factor was my old lady cat was really suffering due to arthritis, and as long timers know ren is basically my rock. shes been with me almost nonstop since 2008, but that also means she's really getting up there. her kidneys are *okay* (we do subderm fluid injections 2x a week and shes on a kidneysupport diet) but her arthritis has always been early onset and bad. her meds (solencia) wore off and she woke up literally screaming and hissing in pain and could barely move the following day. it was really scary for us as her humans, and even for the other elder cat (luna!) who wouldnt leave her side and wanted to guard her from the kitten. not that audrey would ever be so cruel as to pick on someone feeling unwell!
anyway we were able to turn up the heat which helped her a lot, and get her the solencia again which will also help. but watching the sweet old lady ive known for so long age is a stressor too. it leads to moments of weakness crying into the void.
ultimately it was a really wholesome hannukah week. my friend sent me a hyena plushie, another friend got me a hoodie. i got a pin coming from another friend... and furcadia put the hollydrake avatar on sale which made me really happy because i think its my fav new designed avatar returning after 10 years of not playing.
i'm working on some comics for straviios, and more book art for codelizard - i'm trying to reach a point of stable enough life nonsense to return to streaming.
just wrapped xmas gifts today, trying not to let the fact that theres family-history-concerning medical testing happening to me between now and then get to me too much. it actually feels in some ways a great deal like new years eve 2007-2008 in a strange way... but maybe all that means is i desperately want to walk around a japanese department store (when DONT i) and listen to the Polyphonic Spree.
be well, i hope no one was scared for me. ive been here 41 years, my own hand cant turn against me with so little resistance.
not shonen enough? i should get back to reading one piece
Sorry as well that I didn't catch that last journal, I'm sending as many positive vibes as I can your way <3