Of all times, it comes to me at midnight while I'm sitting on my couch relaxing n' listening to music, but I've found some clarity.

To start with, I think part of my struggle has been the fact that things have changed a lot since I started being active. I keep getting nostalgia for the early days of my online life, back when it was more about finding my own enjoyment and meeting people and etc. I miss that. Like, it really got me through a LOT of rough times.

And it hit me; that's my problem all along. Instead of sticking with that and focusing on it, I've gone the route of wanting to be so many different things and trying to be a big creator and someone that everybody knows, when the reality is, I'm waaaay happier as I already am. I can be a creator and NOT have to be 500 different things or push out weekly content or etc.

Yes, I want to create. Yes, I do want to share and spread my ideas and creativity and all of that. But, I want to do what *i* want first and foremost. I don't want to go and make a big name as an artist then have to keep that up for a decade or more (and note, I'm not tryna hate on anyone or make others sound bad if THEY do that, I'm just giving my own pov on myself and how that's not what *i* truly want for me).

At the end of the day I want to JUST be *ME*, own myself, own my life and my ocs and bring people along for MY creative journey.

This whole past year I've struggled because what I kept telling myself I wanted wasn't actually what *i* wanted, it was what I thought I *should* do in order to build myself up and etc. Time to put an end to that delusion.

So basically, going forward, I will still be active. You'll see me around in various places, just as you have before. I might post less stuff here simply because I don't feel like I HAVE to share *every* last thing I have, but stuff I'm proud to have or happy with, you'll definitely see

But I am going to focus more on what *I* want to show the world and what *i* feel good creating and sharing. I still plan on doing art again and potentially starting a new account for that if I see fit to, for a fresh start. At least as far as content and sharing stuff goes.

I will still obviously care deeply for my friends and making new friends and so on will be a BIG part of my life going forward.

I feel like I keep saying this but this time it's set in stone. I have found my TRUE path forward, finally. And I am not letting anything get me down.


Stay tuned, I'll have more to share soon, hopefully. But, I'm gonna take my time and enjoy myself along the way. I love this community. Even for all the bad stuff and the haters and etc. You all mean the world to me, and I finally feel happy to be in the community again