I don't know much of what I can say about this, I am not really a 'furry' but something of my own taste. I do hang out with some of my 'kin' but overall I wish I had some good answers about this.

It's definitely not just you: for all the laudable improvements the Internet has seen this Century,
it is still culturally and aesthetically a predominantly male space, and creators and the businesses
according tend to pander to that demographic.

Even for cishet men out there, the concentration of sausage-minded indulgence in web public spaces
can be overwhelming and depressing: everyone seems to be talking about war, guns, debate bro politics,
violent video games, garage tech, computer tech, objectifying women and obsessing over the Roman Empire.

Childcare? Parenting? Zinger sewing? Gardening? Women-specific health issues? Cooking for family and self?
Art therapy? Accessibility software design? Feminist literature, ground-up activism and community organizing?
Introspection and self-care? Relationship psychology? Interior decoration and house-hunting? Beauty practices?
For all of these, one usually needs to apply to dedicated communities,
and searching for like-minded people can feel like trudging through a desert.

This is not to say: "Men do this, Women do that." -- interests, professions and passions can be sprinkled
indiscriminately between genders/sexes, and this issue affects nonbinaries and NGC men and just basic men,
even if to a lesser extent.

You may find it interesting to examine this list of artists who tend to depict fat characters respectfully.
Even if you don't find it useful, maybe the very fact that someone has been this dedicated to finding alternative
approaches to artwork would give you some sense of vindication and validation.

Cheers!

i hear ya, have had a love/hate relationship with the furry scene for years, and can relate about being a lot of things that go against what the 2020s Furry Stereotype is...

but i stick around despite not fitting in much because its the only community that celebrates anthropomorphism in any major sense. they might do this in fucked up ways and have a ton of rotten people in the community that feel obligated to be all that the Stereotype is...but that just makes me feel all the more obligated to stick around to show the world that yeah...we're not all like that ._. there are cis people here, there are women here, there are conservatives, there are people over 30, there are married people, there are people who dont treat the furry scene as a lifestyle, etc...

"furry" is a term that i wish didn't have such negative implications with such oddly specific stereotypes (to the point where i dont even like to use the term "furry" in real life conversations...) but meh, it is what it is. gotta make it your own and be a proud black sheep XD

Here's how I feel; maybe it'll help.

As the adult oriented spaces and furry spaces ven diagram feels moreike a circle completely inside another, there is a lot of sexual and fetish oriented media. More often than not it's not about representation as it is featuring what someone finds attractive or fantasizes about. I know that most material is not "for me" in that regard.

The other part of my stance is that I don't hold these places that are art galleries as a real kind of social media. Discord servers and telegram channels are probably better geared towards smaller sub groups within the furry community, and seem better for building relationships.

"Furry" is a large and broad demographic, and if I were to compare it to a village, I live in a hut outside and occasionally wander in, especially when it comes to community interaction. I don't draw or write, and I've only commissioned twice, so I'm definitely not very participatory.

I found friendship in more localised groups and on events like conventions, face to face interaction and connection is just much more genuine. The online space very much differs from that in my experience as someone with a body that isn't super standard in the fandom either, and my female friends have experienced a sense of othering as well.
Finding those that feel the same within the fandom helped me connect more, and most creatives like artists and fursuit makers are women or afab folk that have similar experiences. Might be worth checking your mutual/local list of creatives or if you plan to sell your work on conventions it opens up a space to connect there as well!

I don't have anything to say that other people couldn't say far better, so instead I will simply offer you a hug

Don't think I hold much to weigh in on this topic and likely guilty of worsening the issue, but it does mimic how I feel about my own work. I often feel like I need to angle my ideas to the stereotype in order to stay relevant as a beginner here. I want to explore diverse themes and stuff that isn't so sexual and objectified as well as build a following of like minded people. But whenever I make a step towards that, it often gets pushed aside for what the "I want to bone" gallery wants.

I definitely feel that from time to time, albeit for different reasons. Can't say much for the furry community, because I'm not a furry. But within the TF community, I definitely feel like an outlier most of the time.
Sometimes it does genuinely frustrate me that most of the content shared by the community is stuff I have no interest in, but ultimately that only really gets to me if i'm already in a bad mood. I don't really mind being a little weird, even if it does hurt sometimes when I can't really relate to the majority of the community.
I'm not personally interested in seeing representations of myself in TF content, but I definitely get that weird feeling of being here in the community but not really being part of it. Like I'm that weirdo who stands in the corner at a party who doesn't really know anyone and can't really get a word in.
I think one of the best ways I've come to deal with it, is to unapologetically be myself. maybe you can be that representation for others who are also looking for it.

I have been trying to figure out the best way to type this and it's ended in a weird rant about 20 times now. BUT, I understand 100% what you mean.

I'm a neurotypical cishet woman so I'm as far opposite as you can get from what people would consider your average furry.

I guess I just want to say.

We're here.

We just stay in our own corners because the screaming from those who get triggered by our presence is quieter when we ourselves are quiet. It's wrong. It doesn't make sense, but they've made it 'THEIR' safe space, not 'A' safe space. The safe space is also where sexual expression is encouraged so it's hard to feel accepted when the bar has been set towards the more fetish side...

again a rant.. so anyways sorry. Just wanna say you're not the only one who feels like this.

I suppose? I'm a therian and trans species, pretty rare, but not unheard of in here. In some way you can argue entire furry community is one big distorition of what being an animal is.

But that's fine, there's a lot of sane and insane content here and everyone has their own preferences, at the end of the day whether someone accepts my identity, sees it as a kink that went too far just becauce I'm into that on top of identifying as a different species or is hostile against me, the kind of art and stories people post in here are a form of appreciation of the nature and world, whether it's sfw or adult content.

There's plenty that I could consider offensive, many present pigs as the most disgusting species imaginable, in general animals are portrayed as dumb and hypersexual. Same with furry content, I'm just trans species, I like transformation, I don't just want, I physically have to changes species to not go insane from dysphoria, barely anyone understands my type of concerns in here and for that matter even other therians tend to not feel as strong about it as me. I can't really find meaningful frindship or partnership due to that. It makes me feel alone too.

Maybe it's easier for me, because at the end of the day I identify as a pig and I'm into these dishonest adult depictions of them too. Frankly, I tend to feel here more at home than in therian related forums where most therians kind of accept they are stuck being a human. But here? I can read a story and imagine myself changing while also undergoing some depraved scenario, a win-win. There are still many depictions I absolutely hate, but if they make someone happy and isn't directed against me in particular, that's a net positive. While we are protective of our identities, maybe you could see is a positive too?

I'm just accepted the community isn't worth being a part of. A solid 95% of it is awful anyways.

Do what you want for yourself and don't bother twisting yourself in knots trying to please others. If you have a good product then the people you want to be with will eventually come to you.

As someone whos been int he furry space for half their life now (AAAAAAA), i dont think youre wrong here theres a strong bias in the community towards certain demographics and orientations. The thing that helps me is a certain distance when engulfing myself. I am not looking for total integration and being welcomed. I appreciate what the community offers but my personal investment is in my immediate circle of people i am fortunate enough to be friends with.

Sorry i'm rambling. I think the point i'm trying to make is that the furry community is too big and biased to look for validation and the sense of belonging that you are looking for and personally think you should look for smaller circles to seek the kind of fulfilling feelings that you are seeking.

I engage with those i trust and try to keep an open mind about other people, but yeah about 90% of this community is diametrically opposed to someone like myself

sometime looking for a more niche group helps, all else fails find a group of trans folks and respectfully ask to hang with them. We tend to be big on body positivity no matter your parts.

I do feel "othered" at times in the community. It's a large place full of many conflicting ideas and values

One way I try to combat that feeling when it creeps in, is to take a step back. Reconnecting with old friends from college, from other spaces I've lost touch with. Putting more time and energy into old friendships

Another way I've tried is Reconnecting with a core group of furry friends. Folks I've met along the way and in various spaces, conventions, meets, chat groups, who share the same values as me. Friends who I can lean on for support

Another way had been to focus on making new experiences, and exploring new social settings. Traveling to see places or spend time being present with friends. Volunteering in person, joining a local book club, hanging out at a local bars trivia night. Listening to what my friends are sharing and actively saying, "that sounds like fun. Let me know the next time you're going hiking/rock climbing/ to the museum. I'd love to join you/ your friends."

Other times, I completely isolate from social engagements and focus on my own hobbies. Trying to get the rust off the foreign language I studied in college, reigniting my love of reading, or try something completely new like a cooking class

These are all ways that have helped me find peace and value the friendships I've curated over the years. When I feel othered, I remind myself it's their loss. The people othering me are missing out, so I should reach out to the people i love and care about

I hope this offers some solace

Totally know that feeling. Wrong gender to fit in, wrong art style, wrong body shape....

Honestly, i just let spite and dedication fuel me as much as I can. I can't and won't change who I am because the people that love me, love me either way and the people that hate me will always find a reason to hate me.

Make a pintrest board/scrapbook/journal - whatever of all the best comments on your art, on who YOU are, what makes YOU feel authentic. When you're feeling your lowest, go back to that and remember that no one else is you and no one can be you better than you.

I know that doesn't make it hurt any less. It doesn't make the othering any less ego bruising. It can be hard to keep going, but if your mental health can handle it, you should because you do awesome work that not nearly enough artists do. You matter as a person no matter what. Your mental health has to come first, so if you need a break to regroup, take it, but yeah...just focus on the people that lift you up. Fuck the haters.

As furries, we are all 'others' in at least one respect. I've always seen furry as a fandom meant for celebrating the other (and I refuse to surrender that notion). And while many of us don't match the largest demographic in the fandom as individuals, almost every demographic is represented here. The people who appreciate the stuff you make? Those who produce what you appreciate? Well, those are your peeps in the community. Continue to treasure and nurture them.

Tongue firmly planted in cheek, I give you the advice I was given upon discovering the fandom 30+ years ago: be the porn you want to see in the world; you may be surprised who comes out to watch it.

I think, ultimately, the space is what you make of it and who you surround yourself with. There are some incredibly loud voices in the community and some incredibly quiet ones. But that's kind of where we are. I think as a whole, the community is so diverse and different that you can't identify with all of it. Only some of it.

It's why, even within the furry community, there are subcultures. There's so many who are in IT, engineering or art that as someone who is not in any of those fields I felt like an imposter. But I approached people with similar interests to my own and bond over our 'furriness' among other things.

I think a lot of people are focusing on like "yeah we feel this way too", to move past it, you've just gotta carve out your niche in the community. Not in an "Oh now I need to become a 'popfur' and become a new branch/subculture/following" but just have your circle of people who you can happily chat passions with that also happen to be furries. Like attracts like, as the saying goes.

My personal interests are in world building and designing structure for worlds, governments, theology, messaging etc. etc. and so many furs prefer visual to written stimuli. Found my circle of people who enjoy what I enjoy, and I feel much more part of everything that I did before.

Hope that helps.

Try this. Go offline for six months and make everyone think you died!

I might give that a shot, problem is nobody knows me, har har.

Lmfao, unfortunately this is my only job so I would also quickly become homeless 😬

As someone who is primarily SFW and suggestive at most, I do feel like the furry space excludes the safe for work side of things.

When it comes to being a cis woman, plus size and in a long-term relationship within the community, I have no comment, and I don’t want to speak for people who are more qualified to talk about that stuff, but no matter about that, I support all people in the community who deserve to have a voice. I have seen misogyny running rampant in the fandom and would like for people to understand that not all furries are adult, gay, muscular men.

An overwhelming majority of this "community" isn't really a community, it's a melting pot of so many groups it becomes incredibly disconnected. Truth be told if anyone really knew who I was I'd be excommunicated on the spot, I'm not exactly welcome anywhere so spend most of my time as a mere spectator. They aren't worthy of my company as it currently stands. But who knows, perhaps one day I'll find a circle that is right for me.

The fandom itself is made up of thousands of smaller groups... or communities, it's impossible to define furries as being the same from one end to the other. There are communities where you fit, there are communities where you don't fit, that's how it is with anything relating to socializing.

There's no need to force yourself into every community if it's not working, I've learned that a long time ago.

i do, im aromantic asexual, not sex repulsed but i definitely dont want it, and of course the furry fandom feels different on this, i know it "not all furries" but it still feels like most of them are to where if i go to something furry related theres sex somewhere nearby, and yeah "thats just how the world is" but its hard to find people like me

There's a lot more than one furry community, and not all of them get along. I don't think it'd be abnormal to feel othered by it if taken as a whole. You might feel better to find furry sub-groups and see if you can find one that fits you well.

Otherwise, well, I do have furry sub-groups and other not specifically furry groups I'm interested in but feel othered by. I'm not sure I deal with it well so I can't give good advice there. XD

While it does seem like "the furry community" is one singular community at times, I often see it as many interconnected communities of varying sizes. Each of these communities usually are welcoming to some select minorities while othering others. Where these communities over lap often leaves many people feeling othered when they try to "explore" the furry community as a whole. I sometimes hear straight male furries complain that the community is way too gay and it's hard to find other straight furry friends, while some gay furries say they have to take so much effort to go out of their way to avoid all the straight content in the community. And neither group are entirely in the wrong, because when you explore a community this big you're bound to encounter at least a couple groups of people who aren't welcoming to you.

As a non-binary person, I do find that some sub-communities are not welcoming to myself, but sticking close to the communities and people who have welcomed me, and just exploring a little bit nearby has been good for me.

A lot of my favourite furry artists are cis women, most of which who are bisexual and in a long-term relationship, and some who are heavy. You're not alone.

TL;DR: The furry community is way too big and varied that you're bound to encounter situations you don't relate to more often than situations that you do. Stick to your own little subsection of the community that is welcoming to you.

lot of people giving long answers. i aint reading all that.

basic answer is to say of course you'd feel like this because furries be 70% gay guys 10% trans mtf and 18% lesbian. (i know i missed some). hell im bi. but ive only dated guys cause ive never met many women, especially single ones.

There is an unfortunate amount of misogyny in the community. It's something that needs to be worked on and fixed.

Sorry you have to deal with so much "othering" in what should be a welcoming community <3

im a far right conservative furry, i found that a lot of times when i say my opinion that is very different from others i ether get shunned or banned from the community i was apart of, people who i called friends ether A want nothing to do with me anymore, or B wish me dead. so i decided to carve out my own section of the furry space for open minded furs, keep it SFW and do not call for violence on anyone. aside from that, keep everything in the proper channels, we have left, right, gay, trans, even non furries. if you don't like something about the community, carve your own section out and invite those who are like you in it.

I think for the body type concerns, it's all about finding and helping amplify the right voices and the right artists - one that wholeheartedly appreciate all body types, and express that in their art. I've found some really inclusive artists and it definitely helped me. I can sympathize with the feeling, so very much. I am no longer young and lithe, and worse yet, I'm FtM - so much of the trans art is all MtF focused, and I'm not opposed to NSFW stuff of FtM but there's so little of it that doesn't feel like it's just seeing that body type as an object. I follow you and watch your art because you are so good at coming across respectful to all the different types of characters you draw.