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Update by Gade :: Important // TW
2 years ago
General
>>> I FUCKING CURSE A LOT, IT'S NOT SO MUCH A RUDE MEANING AS IT'S JUST MY NATURAL TONE OF CONVERSATION IN THE REAL <<< This is Gade. For those of you that are new to Horri's page, I am his partner. BE WARNED:: There is a TW on this journal. Mentions of suicide and the such.
It is with great solemness that I post this journal. As of this morning I had to take Horri in to a crisis center to have him evaluated, as he has been having trouble with his mental state once more. He has been put on suicide watch, which means I have had to go through the whole house and remove any and all dangers that could be used in any way for harm or further damage. The crisis center has me watching him, and doing nightly call checks to make sure he is remaining safe at this time, and getting things prepared for a 'just in case' scenario, for a trip to the hospital.
I know some of you have been aware of his many years of struggles with his mental health, and his ups and downs with it, and I am very thankful to all of those of you who have been kind, and gentle with him, even during times where his output has slowed or even come to a halt tell such times as he has been in a better state of mind. These sorts of things are never easy to predict or to work with in all cases, and it has made things hard for Horri. Including, but not limited to; Feelings of guilt, uselessness,ect. Some over just in general every day things, and others over late bits of art and so on. Which is why I can never thank everyone who has been kind, nearly enough, during the harder times.
I , as his boyfriend, have been doing all I can to help in what ways I am able with his mental health. But I am not a professional, and am only able to do so much. He is seeking professional help of course.
As he is on watch, for the time being, he will not be able to do his streams right at the moment, and art will depend on if he feels up to it or not for the duration of which he is on initial watch, which is one week. If they think he needs further watching at that time, I will update you all. Until such times however, I will be reaching out to the two people I am aware of that had scheduled streams for this week, to reschedule them to make sure they are on the roster, as Horri wanted this.
With Regards,
Gade
It is with great solemness that I post this journal. As of this morning I had to take Horri in to a crisis center to have him evaluated, as he has been having trouble with his mental state once more. He has been put on suicide watch, which means I have had to go through the whole house and remove any and all dangers that could be used in any way for harm or further damage. The crisis center has me watching him, and doing nightly call checks to make sure he is remaining safe at this time, and getting things prepared for a 'just in case' scenario, for a trip to the hospital.
I know some of you have been aware of his many years of struggles with his mental health, and his ups and downs with it, and I am very thankful to all of those of you who have been kind, and gentle with him, even during times where his output has slowed or even come to a halt tell such times as he has been in a better state of mind. These sorts of things are never easy to predict or to work with in all cases, and it has made things hard for Horri. Including, but not limited to; Feelings of guilt, uselessness,ect. Some over just in general every day things, and others over late bits of art and so on. Which is why I can never thank everyone who has been kind, nearly enough, during the harder times.
I , as his boyfriend, have been doing all I can to help in what ways I am able with his mental health. But I am not a professional, and am only able to do so much. He is seeking professional help of course.
As he is on watch, for the time being, he will not be able to do his streams right at the moment, and art will depend on if he feels up to it or not for the duration of which he is on initial watch, which is one week. If they think he needs further watching at that time, I will update you all. Until such times however, I will be reaching out to the two people I am aware of that had scheduled streams for this week, to reschedule them to make sure they are on the roster, as Horri wanted this.
With Regards,
Gade
As someone who has also periodically suffered from suicidal depression in the past, the best advice i could give is to try and find something small on the horizon to look forward to. For me, it was something as small as a movie that was going to come out a few years from when i was going through my ordeal. It can be a place you'd like to see someday, a game on the horizon, a concert you'd like to see, a book you want to read. The goal of which is to find joy, not a goal of self improvement. Speaking from experience, many will not meet their self appointed goals of self improvement (I never did and it makes things feel worse when you fail), but there is always something big or small in everybody's future that has the potential to bring joy.
So please find that small piece of joy that you can look forward to, and use that as a guidepost, and know that you aren't alone Hatti