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HI
2 years ago
General
making a return!
i haven't even logged in in *checks* A YEAR?!?! (wow, i really do have time blindness) but i still like it here. :)
i don't want to overshare too much, but i hit an extremely low point last year with my mental health and so my art suffered (it has been suffering anyway due to low belief in myself tbh, among lots of other negative things) and i just really strongly haven't wanted to be around. but that's changed! the low point brought a good thing- i'm finally getting some help now. i'm the kind of person who doesn't talk about things (as you might have guessed...) and just hopes they'll get better on their own... that's a bad thought. it doesn't work like that. but i have something to balance out my brain chemicals and all that, thankfully it's working (tried this approach numerous times in the past, none of them worked) and i really feel like making art again, and enjoying it? it's so great. even people irl are telling me i seem better which is nice :D (also this is kinda funny- i got into such a bad way i stopped playing doom... guess who felt well enough to start playing doom again recently!!)
with the new year i started thinking about coming back, i'd hate to just disappear but i was overcome with negative associations- "what's the point of being online if i have nothing to share"... if you've ever had depression you'll know that when you're in the moment it feels like you'll never be happy again and nothing is good. i'm able to have a different approach now, and i actually have enthusiasm like i haven't had in years!
idk when i'll be more active, i'm actually right now saving up for a better scanner, but yeah, i'm not gonna just drop this journal and disappear again, promise :)
i haven't even logged in in *checks* A YEAR?!?! (wow, i really do have time blindness) but i still like it here. :)
i don't want to overshare too much, but i hit an extremely low point last year with my mental health and so my art suffered (it has been suffering anyway due to low belief in myself tbh, among lots of other negative things) and i just really strongly haven't wanted to be around. but that's changed! the low point brought a good thing- i'm finally getting some help now. i'm the kind of person who doesn't talk about things (as you might have guessed...) and just hopes they'll get better on their own... that's a bad thought. it doesn't work like that. but i have something to balance out my brain chemicals and all that, thankfully it's working (tried this approach numerous times in the past, none of them worked) and i really feel like making art again, and enjoying it? it's so great. even people irl are telling me i seem better which is nice :D (also this is kinda funny- i got into such a bad way i stopped playing doom... guess who felt well enough to start playing doom again recently!!)
with the new year i started thinking about coming back, i'd hate to just disappear but i was overcome with negative associations- "what's the point of being online if i have nothing to share"... if you've ever had depression you'll know that when you're in the moment it feels like you'll never be happy again and nothing is good. i'm able to have a different approach now, and i actually have enthusiasm like i haven't had in years!
idk when i'll be more active, i'm actually right now saving up for a better scanner, but yeah, i'm not gonna just drop this journal and disappear again, promise :)
*huggles*