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Not with a bang, but a whimper
2 years ago
General
Today, I received my last commission that I'm going to be getting for a while. I'm going to be uploading stuff in the March month and trying to get the rest of my stuff up so you can see all the art I've accumulated all of these years.
But... it's not that I don't want to get more commissions, but for the last few comms I've gotten, they have been nothing that I wanted. I would ask for something, only for it to be subverted and not being done the way I wanted. Examples are a YCH that was done wrong, a badge that depicted my fursona as the wrong species entirely, and more recently, a picture that had very little of what I asked for with the picture, leaving me just unhappy about spending money on something I don't like. It's a hard thing for me to toss $100 on a comm that won't bring me joy when I could do stuff that could just improve the quality of my life.
I think the thing is that I just want is a better connection with furs. It's hard to say "I love hyper cocks." and then trying to go "I like listening to They Might Be Giants." because the fact is that furs on my FA see all the hyper and not the person behind it. VR has disillusioned me moreso on the idea of that the people I've hung out with never want to talk about life or casually chat, they just want to stay in the illusion of the story they've made for themselves and escape reality. I can understand that 100%. Still, I just need something real. It's just... rough. I like pretending that I have hyper bits, but I think right now I just want more connections in life in regards to interests and just exploring life.
But, to all of you that read this, you all are awesome, whether we have chatted once or many times or you just like looking at the art I've accumulated. I hope we all can have a good ending through this all as we all work to better our lives. We just need to keep moving.
But... it's not that I don't want to get more commissions, but for the last few comms I've gotten, they have been nothing that I wanted. I would ask for something, only for it to be subverted and not being done the way I wanted. Examples are a YCH that was done wrong, a badge that depicted my fursona as the wrong species entirely, and more recently, a picture that had very little of what I asked for with the picture, leaving me just unhappy about spending money on something I don't like. It's a hard thing for me to toss $100 on a comm that won't bring me joy when I could do stuff that could just improve the quality of my life.
I think the thing is that I just want is a better connection with furs. It's hard to say "I love hyper cocks." and then trying to go "I like listening to They Might Be Giants." because the fact is that furs on my FA see all the hyper and not the person behind it. VR has disillusioned me moreso on the idea of that the people I've hung out with never want to talk about life or casually chat, they just want to stay in the illusion of the story they've made for themselves and escape reality. I can understand that 100%. Still, I just need something real. It's just... rough. I like pretending that I have hyper bits, but I think right now I just want more connections in life in regards to interests and just exploring life.
But, to all of you that read this, you all are awesome, whether we have chatted once or many times or you just like looking at the art I've accumulated. I hope we all can have a good ending through this all as we all work to better our lives. We just need to keep moving.
There is so much going on in life that my friend thinks I'm going through dissociation. And this is why I been pretty much quiet on any form of social media. I rarely posts on these types of things. I've cut many out of my discords because of one sided friendships. The type that are hallow and just "WE are only here when WE need you. Never when you need us." And I just don't connect with really most people anymore, and it has become harder to want to. I just don't have the energy like I'd like to.
In terms of artist... One I was working with has been... They're good at what they do. But I sometimes feel like my input is seen as optional and it has me jaded. Yes, art is a collaboration. But what is the point of writing documents if you are only going to glance at them and say you'll do it, only for it to be the artist's wish fulfillment of the character.
You're told to give it a chance, and then you know by time they are ready to color things, you know they'll be pissed if you dare correct them. And it's like. "What the hell do you think this was even close to what I paid for...?" Me and the hubby were looking at this artist and just like. We were not 100% pleased. And unfortunately, this type of thing is seeming more and more common to think the customer is either wrong. Or that the customer is being too entitled. Like, some of us draft whole documents explaining exactly what we want, and we check to be sure you have read it BEFORE payment is on the table, which is usually before even starting on the work itself.
There is nothing not frustrating, and art is getting more expensive.
I wish I could comment on the VR thing better; but I don't typically play those social types of games. But I always had the impression of. "Unless you are eye candy to somebody, you probably will just only be relegated to that. People are just like that sadly. Yes, you MIGHT meet a less shallow person here or there. But people are always going to see what you present yourself as first."
Commissioning artists is also becoming a chore. A few take forever when they try to juggle several commissions at once and others never bother updating you or sending you WIPs, so they just send the finished product without even checking to see if you approve of it first.
"This is my one interaction with you, and it is the most reductive type." is just shitty.
And the last thing about art. "That has also happened. And they had the audacity to get upset that I was sick in bed, unable to even see the line art." We get it. Some things people want to be done with sometimes too. But... The customer should still approve things as it happens. Not, whatever that is.