So, I originally deleted my main account to get away from people who were following it and stalking me. There are now people in the community I am fearful of. Along with my BPD making me jump around personality wise since I didn't really have a foundation for self. I have reclused a lot because of this and because my life has gotten busier. I feel really disconnected from the community and it's harder to reach out because I'm out finally living and enjoying life. I haven't had the urge to not want to exist anymore since 2022. That is the first consistent time in my life this has happened. I lived independently a while, I got my GED, I got my license, I have almost all of what I need to go to college. I am much less codependent though sometimes my brain tries to regress. I never thought I was capable of living life on my own for myself, I always felt like I needed someone or I wouldn't make it. My abandonment issues had me by the throat. Now here I finally fucking am. It feels like a dream sometimes, I'm on the right path, because I'm choosing the direction now.