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Some Updates/General Thoughts
a year ago
Com Updates - I'll keep the important part simple for those of you I owe art to, please continue to keep in contact with me while I work on things. I have not forgotten you even while I'm fighting to keep afloat with my mental health and everything else, I'm always here to be upfront and honest. My own personal work was never finished either due to all this stuff and I can't really even know where to begin with explaining it all, so I'll do my best. Things have been worked on slowly, just not nearly as fast as I'd like with all the other things going on.
Mental Health - With how things are right now, I'm basically the one taking care of the home, and the mental health of others I live with and some people that need it that can't afford/are unable to see their own therapist. No, I'm not a licensed therapist. I am suggesting they see a professional and I'm not trying to imply I'm a replacement. I am however a lot of people's current support though. While this effects my own health, I also have a problem letting people down. It's my own problem to work through and I'm trying to do that as well. Being in a couple's therapist for my household and being singled out for still being completely unable to even remotely do any sort of self-mental care is upsetting. All I know how to do is give other people more reason to live than me, that was what gave me a reason to continue and trying to break that cycle feels fucking impossible.
I'm sure I could be better at all this, maybe others can be. I feel too beaten down with everything else at this point that I don't know how to do all this anymore. I'm sure the usual detractor will come by and tell me how much of a pile of shit I am, and I have no idea why they have such an issue with me considering they will not take up my offer to talk about why I need to ask for assistance. I'd like to think that criticism is fair coming from all places, but this just seems toxic and unearned.
Donations/Financial Assistance - My disability situation is... moving slowly. I'm still waiting to hear about a hearing with the attorneys, and I've had a few CCs between the two, but that's roughly it. They tell me things are on track, it's just a waiting game. So until then, I'll, unfortunately, still need help. If you feel you can without placing yourself in any financial stress, I'd really appreciate any help anyone can give. If I owe you work and feel like this is unfair for me to ask for financial aid while owing art, honestly, I want to give everyone their stuff back right now and make it go away to make the stress end but I can't. I dislike having to ask for help every single time and it makes me want to just fucking curl up and die whenever I have to ask for help. I hate this. I want this to go away. But I keep getting told to ask for help because it's ok to do. Then I get yelled at for it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore, aside from try and make it until disability goes through. Again, I'm sure I'm going to get my usual dude coming by and telling me I'm a piece of shit. I already feel like one dude. Trust me.
My original idea with everything was to have a normal job where I could actually donate money to people in my position and not need to do commissions at all and just draw for fun, just draw for people to make them happy. If somehow things happen I still want that. I don't like the idea of owing people anything, especially when I've been forced into a position where it's become hard to pay them back.
To all those I owe things to, thank you so much for your patience. To all those who have helped me with bills and food, thank you. Thank you all for your support.
If you'd like to help me keep going, till I get my disability and get things stable again, I'd really appreciate any and all donations I could get. Anything that gets sent goes directly to paying insurance, car payments, National Debt Relief, gas, food, and rent. The amount needed per month is roughly $1400 to keep stable, until the National Debt Relief is paid down, and the Car can be refinanced (the exact amount averages I think was $1356 or something I was just rounding up cause food/gas prices).
Thank you all so much for reading, I hope to get things back on track soon.
Stay safe, and healthy, and try to keep yourself relaxed in these times.
-Kampfer
Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/kampferwolf
PayPal: https://paypal.me/KampferWolf
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$KampferWolf
Mental Health - With how things are right now, I'm basically the one taking care of the home, and the mental health of others I live with and some people that need it that can't afford/are unable to see their own therapist. No, I'm not a licensed therapist. I am suggesting they see a professional and I'm not trying to imply I'm a replacement. I am however a lot of people's current support though. While this effects my own health, I also have a problem letting people down. It's my own problem to work through and I'm trying to do that as well. Being in a couple's therapist for my household and being singled out for still being completely unable to even remotely do any sort of self-mental care is upsetting. All I know how to do is give other people more reason to live than me, that was what gave me a reason to continue and trying to break that cycle feels fucking impossible.
I'm sure I could be better at all this, maybe others can be. I feel too beaten down with everything else at this point that I don't know how to do all this anymore. I'm sure the usual detractor will come by and tell me how much of a pile of shit I am, and I have no idea why they have such an issue with me considering they will not take up my offer to talk about why I need to ask for assistance. I'd like to think that criticism is fair coming from all places, but this just seems toxic and unearned.
Donations/Financial Assistance - My disability situation is... moving slowly. I'm still waiting to hear about a hearing with the attorneys, and I've had a few CCs between the two, but that's roughly it. They tell me things are on track, it's just a waiting game. So until then, I'll, unfortunately, still need help. If you feel you can without placing yourself in any financial stress, I'd really appreciate any help anyone can give. If I owe you work and feel like this is unfair for me to ask for financial aid while owing art, honestly, I want to give everyone their stuff back right now and make it go away to make the stress end but I can't. I dislike having to ask for help every single time and it makes me want to just fucking curl up and die whenever I have to ask for help. I hate this. I want this to go away. But I keep getting told to ask for help because it's ok to do. Then I get yelled at for it. I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore, aside from try and make it until disability goes through. Again, I'm sure I'm going to get my usual dude coming by and telling me I'm a piece of shit. I already feel like one dude. Trust me.
My original idea with everything was to have a normal job where I could actually donate money to people in my position and not need to do commissions at all and just draw for fun, just draw for people to make them happy. If somehow things happen I still want that. I don't like the idea of owing people anything, especially when I've been forced into a position where it's become hard to pay them back.
To all those I owe things to, thank you so much for your patience. To all those who have helped me with bills and food, thank you. Thank you all for your support.
If you'd like to help me keep going, till I get my disability and get things stable again, I'd really appreciate any and all donations I could get. Anything that gets sent goes directly to paying insurance, car payments, National Debt Relief, gas, food, and rent. The amount needed per month is roughly $1400 to keep stable, until the National Debt Relief is paid down, and the Car can be refinanced (the exact amount averages I think was $1356 or something I was just rounding up cause food/gas prices).
Thank you all so much for reading, I hope to get things back on track soon.
Stay safe, and healthy, and try to keep yourself relaxed in these times.
-Kampfer
Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/kampferwolf
PayPal: https://paypal.me/KampferWolf
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$KampferWolf
I have tried one before and got no progress unfortunately. I do appreciate the advice though.
