Aside from being supportive of my friends, I consider it basic respect to (at least try to) address others by their preferred names and pronouns. It costs me nothing and makes both of us happier. So just let us know what you prefer.

I'm going to try to be less nonchalant about it and be more specific. Thanks for being supportive ^w^

Maybe it comes from only ever having read your journals and posts but it always seems that you are in many ways similar to me. I too am kinda out in the weeds on gender right now, I present male and am relatively comfortable with my body...but reject the social role of being a man.

I dunno I'm testing things out right now

Certainly. I'll say, it's at the very least fun to try out different ways to define yourself. Some ways stick and some won't. Mix and match :3

Very much so, I wore a skirt once last year and that was awesome

I am woefully unequipped to actually get into the weeds on this so I'll just give my approval of you loving yourself.

It's cool <3

If you ever wanna talk about stuff like that, let me know ;3

Just be you.

I'm trying my hardest! I just felt like sharing since I don't think I ever really have.

i think the impression i was given from your body of work was that you were masc-socialized and a generally gentle soul, one that like you said isnt interested in causing strife. but i think that also like many people who question gender and expression, i totally think you should try different pronouns in safe enviroments to see how they feel. if you like them for a while, great! if you like them forever great! if not, great! its all just information that will give you more knwoledge of yourself. but, i find especially masc-socialized people in american society? are often dissuaded from doing this kind of introspective experimentation, and so there's very often just a general fear and anxiety about even expressing it a little bit.

there's also the joke in trans circles about what happened to bronys when the like golden era of the show and fandom died off? well either they took the path of good and became trans, or the path of evil and became neo-nazis >.> and you never struck me as the type to deny someone human rights based on the random chance of where and how they were born.

but also im very old and very trans-masc (&i guess the "gay men" who find themselves in your orbit lmao thats meee XD) and ive worked w children who are like your age now... so i feel like i may make a lot of assumptions just cuz ive been around the block a few times. so if im way off base im very sorry if i offend!

in general people who were born and assigned male struggle to get recognition as nonbinary gender (which i think encompases agender or null gender? like you said, the particulars of teh labels really arent important) but especially in furry spaces we're getting better at respecting when someone says "i would like to be known as they/them, even previously i was he/him, thank you."

but you clearly know you aren't feeling like you get to be fully yourself when you're grouped into wholely 'masculine' activities in your everyday life, it doesnt feel 'right' even though you can tolerate it. and that's , yeah, that's like, that's how it feels to be trans youre 100% on point - i fucking /hated/ going to weddings because they are so strongly gendered and before i could be out to my family i was always swept along in the 'girls' activities where i felt incredibly awkward.

i may also be speaking from a privileged position where when i engage with furries in person, it's in a generally liberal and north-east setting. so like, when i go to a convention someone AMAB who has a nonbinary pronoun badge or a flag or w/e, people will just try their hardest to use the right pronouns for you. and even if its only in that setting, it is really nice to get that validation IRL if you find its what makes you feel good and right. and no one outside yourself and i guess a higher power if you're into that can tell you what feels good and right for you.

gender is a very personal journey, everyone walks their own path and at their own speed. and now ive written far too much im SORRYYYY lmaoooo old man mode

also i guess i can just throw this out here, cuz im seeing a few ppl in this thread who seem to be around rudoji's age group & in their similar boat...

if ur gender questioning or curious or noncompliant and just want to talk to a trans elder, im 42 and i can try to help! i love to help tbh. like, ama. like if youre like "am i allowed to be trans if i dont want to do XYZ but want to XYZ" the answer is still 'yes' but feel free to dm me or whatever.

i dont know a lot abt feminizing hormones but there are lots of really wonderful femmes out there who are equally as determined to help our younger siblings survive the process of figuring out who you are including the forbidden gender realms.

I should try to be less dismissive and try to persuade people to use they/them for me. Still pretty frightened to do that where I work (hardware store), and my close social circle has been for a while now.

I was actually joking with a friend earlier about how i might not fit in what we called the "DBTS (David Bowie/Tilda Swinton) Scale of Androgyny".

And yeah, it's one thing when people just use make pronouns, but a whole 'nother when folks start lumping me in with masculine stereotypes, akin to how folks will assume entire femininity to you. I tend to thin it's just those folks trying to be friendly but not getting that I'm not really into all that stuff.

But as I think a lot of people I've met have proven: deep down we are all on a spectrum of gendered traits. That's how I've begun to see it more and more over the years.

It's even come out in my characters I use to express myself. Rudoji is a military trained agent that has seen some shit and definitely identifies as male, but also prefers femenine clothing. Lavender is cis-female but like to wear mens briefs, speaks in rough tones and gets giddy when she's "sir'd" in public.

I definitely fit the gender fluid category: some days I feel a lot more masculine or feminine. It doesn't change what I do or what I want, but it does sort of "flavor" my interactions and perception.

Also thank you: I love what you shared here. Maybe I need to do some more fanart for you someday XD

you should also trust your instincts! america rn is still very hostile to trans people, so if your instinct is "my workplace might not handle me coming out well at all" then i say listen to that for now, especially based on what you've told me. there's nothing wrong with only being able to present as yourself around those you trust to respect you! like, obviously the shining future horizon that elders dream of is a world where you don't /have/ to be closeted to work. but especially in an election year when over 500 anti-trans bills have been introduced nationwide in the last /three months alone/ its absolutely worth being a little guarded, and playing it safe when it comes to things like employers.

i absolutely agree tho on gender being like a spectrum! that was my realization when i decided i could no longer stay closeted and was doing some deep digging. that while i maybe wasn't 100% Masculine, i was absolutely further to the masculine shades of the spectrum than i was the femme. like i dont want steak and football but i absolutely want to stick my hands in the mud and come out holding some writhing live thing. i dont wanna hunt, but camping and hiking and other boy-scouty activities i adore.

genderfluid is rly cool honestly. i think all of us flicker a bit in how we interact with the world day to day, but being able to recognize its because you're feeling a little more one way or another on the gender spectrum day to day is really high level insight into yourself. most folks would just be like "must be gas, taco bell got me again"

and pshh fanart or no, youre still a really cool artist ive watched develop their skills & interests on here haha

Yer you, and that works.

But does it have a lifetime limited warranty?

Yeah, 'cause if anything major stops workin', so do you, lol.