I wanted to give an update to anyone who has not heard from me in some time, and apologize for the silence. There's a lot that's been going on, and a lot of *nothing* going on as well.

First and foremost, I have begun a process in getting recognition and benefits for Disability. The initial application was denied, as expected, so I have been working with a law firm for the past several months in getting the ball rolling on an appeal. We finally have the application for Appeal in, and are waiting on confirmation for that, along with a date for the Hearing that will have to come up next. I have homework to do along that, evidence I need to work on to support my claim, that I've admittedly been very much struggling to do for the past several months, because of how I cope with stress.

Namely, my coping mechanism for stress is to zone out. And I zone out in multiple ways; mind numbing games, hyperfixations, smut, and youtube. Sometimes combinations of the bunch. I entertain myself with ideas and imagination, in D&D and in alone time.

This isn't always a problem unless I'm stressed a lot, and *boy* have I been super stressed for the past several months. That marathon I did? Last thing I've done with writing. Since then, money has been tight, so stress has been elevated; I've lost all of those months to zoning out. It's almost been an entire year of *nothing* happening productivity wise. Which, with my dumb MDD, only adds to the stress, perpetuating the mess and cocophony of self deprication, and leading to even more zoning out. My projects, 4 of them now, have been sitting and gathering dust because I've had this unhealthy coping mechanism take up my entire life for so long. And, well, now isn't any different.

But here's some good news. Today, and Yesterday, I have been feeling an upswing. My mood is a bit more stable, my stress is a bit lower, and my habit of zoning out is a bit more under control for the short moment of reprieve I have. So I'm writing this journal. I want to say thank you to all of the people who support me, and are patiently waiting for me to get back to those projects. You all mean the world to me.

I've half a mind to do something in July as an anniversary to my first, successful, Choose Your Own Adventure story. It will be a fundraiser of some type, possibly a growth drive? I'm still rattling around ideas, but a certain someone has been encouraging me to keep going and keep perservering on my work and self care. So there WILL be something, I promise you that.

I will be doing what I can to get back to working on those projects. I want to get at least two of them finished before July. And I know you all will enjoy them. One of them, probably my toughest, yet most gratifying. A short story in a fantasy setting with worldbuilding that I'm quite proud of. The second, a gift to myself and a certain dork that has been patiently waiting for their floofy bed~

In the meantime, if you have suggestions for what I do in July, feel free to drop a comment, or send me private messages! I love chatting and won't say no to some extra ideas, no matter what gets used or not.

Love you all

Max