I am sorry to hear that things are going rough and hope that the care and treatment will help to improve things!

Hey, Narokh! Appreciate it <3 Sorry for the late response, but I couldn't get my shit together enough to sit and write back. I hope it will all get better. It's been a month now, had a couple of better days recently, then relapsed so it's shakey, but I hope the direction is towards the better 😵<3

Thigh hugs for you. I can understood this feeling of being crusherd (maybe in other way, because in this month I lost my father and I'm broke). So once again many hugs and pet pats from me

Oh my god, I'm so sorry for Your loss Nid :( That's terrible. Big hugs to You and sincere condolences. Thank You for finding time and compassion in Your grief to write a nice comment towards me. Sending lots of love and a big warm embrace 😢❤️

Aye I hope all turns out well for you.
glad you have friends and your partner to help
PLAY OF THE GAME TO PUPPO THOUGH
Nothing helps like having a pet companion.
My dog is a doofy moron but I love her so much, she's so precious.
She doesn't often enjoy when I pick her up and hug her and other times she loves it but for her safety I have to refrain from squeezing her as hard as I want. She is so squeezable but she's so tiny.

Puppos are the best for real. She's so loving. I never had a dog before and I didn't anticipate how much I would lose my mind over her, ha ha. <3 She's here by my side while I'm writing. Your pupp sounds sweet 🥰 Do You have a photo?

Video of her smallness - https://x.com/Part_Time_Deer/status.....77770034098362

Image of her smallness - https://x.com/Part_Time_Deer/status.....54074539290624

OMG, she's so precious and tiny T__T <3 <3 <3 Sweet baby girl!!!

She is a precious baby.
Dont mind that I flipped her off, I adore her and she's lucky that I can't squeeze her as hard as I want without hurting her.
I want to squeeze the hell out of her.

Of course UvU <3

*Hug*

Nothing wrong with talking and venting.

Am praying that you'll be able to hug your fur baby soon.

Thanks, Fire <3 Sorry, I took so long responding but appreciate Your message and prayer. We are all together now and fur baby is by my side while I'm writing You back having her little nap 😊

You're welcome and no problem.

That's awesome.

I hope things gets better, wishing you the best!

Big appreciate for the message, Sifyro ❤️ I know You've been through Your share of abuse and struggle, and appreciated when You wrote about it 🖐️. You're an amazing artist, btw!

*gives a long and tender hug... you will get through this...

Vix

Thanks, Vix <3 I'm so frustrated with it. I have trouble with simple everyday stuff right now and I would just love for it to be over. I had a couple of good days (two) recently, but then relapsed to where I couldn't get up, but I think it's a sign that treatment is going in the right direction. Comments from You guys here really warmed my heart and I was glad I shared. All the best to You <3

And to you…

Vix

I'm very glad you're getting the right help- take all the time you need and be as kind to yourself as you can-

Thank You, Lilly <3 TwT I have to remind myself it takes time. I'm very ready for it all to be over, would love to dig myself out of it and get back to feeling ok, but outside of taking steps like treatment and asking for help from my loved ones there is a level of powerlessness to accept and taking that time like You say😓❤️.

Oh snap! I had no idea you are going through this, I really wish you the best on getting the help you need, your freinds are great.

On one hand, it was a long time coming, on the other some things happened that hit me like a truck and I can't seem to get over it yet. There are big shifts in my life happening from it that I think will be for the best once it all blows over, but it's hard for now :hug:. Hope You are doing well, Valrichka 😉❤️

I'm doing great! I just got done with my Spring semester, and will be relaxing for 2 months!

Any luck with those dates? Last time we talked You were preparing for one 😄

oh? If it's what I remember what we talked about in Late November I think?
I came down with a cold a few days before a date, and the lady legit thought I was flaking, and so she didn't talk to me ever again, it really hurt cuz I was expecting a fun time, but instead I had a nasty cold that lasted for 3 fucking weeks and was gone just before Christmas

the worst 💀 That's just bad luck right there! Hope You have a good rest during the break 😉

I will have agreat break, and I hope to see you stream again soon!

Hey get it off your chest, whatever helps lift some weight! Sending love your way and hopes you feel better sooner rather than later, it sounds like you're on the right track <3

Yeah, I'm glad I wrote about it here. Reading and responding to the comments under this journal is very soothing (although I felt bad it took me so long 😶). Something happened a month ago that broke my head into pieces completely and spiraled me down so badly that I became physically sick. I have trouble walking without a cane and doing basic things around the house. I'm in pain that feels like my bones are being microwaved. My insides are caught in this Darth Vader grip. And it's all grief. I've been through grief before after deaths of people who died to early and tragically and I didn't know how I would go on without them, through heartbreak of breakups, lost friendships, abuse. This one brought me back to where it all went wrong in the first place. It's so fundamental. Trauma uncovered the ugly truth. My reality broke in a very literal way. I thought I was losing my mind and that I can't take it anymore, but the support system of loving ones was there to pick me up, help me get help and confirm I'm not crazy. And so did the specialists and the doctors. And as hard as it all is right now I know there's a better life on the other side of those realisations. That now will be time to heal and rebuild like it was never possible before and I will break free. But it's not soothing yet. It will be and for the logical brain it is clearer what's next, but heart struggles and body is sick. It's frustrating cause I hate being powerless and I can't afford not to work (timing was very lucky for me through this, cause of a big hiatus caused by a client, but I have to get back to regular work soon). I'm taking my medicine and I think it started working, just not there yet. I had a couple (two) good days where I felt like I'm feeling ok (just cried a bit). We went to the beach and I pulled a quick difficult storyboarding job. Next day I woke up and it was all back to black. I think/hope it's the brain adjusting to the drugs and it's all going in the right direction. I guess it has to take time. Ah, CD what a shitshow it is, ha ha. I'm trying to cover my bases, but part of it is just freefall cause I'm curled in bed crying. And I have to be very grateful for the found family, what I call the support system which are great friends and my partner who check, help, pick up and listen. And that dog, cause she's like little cute heart on four legs. Sending love back, always appreciate You and Your thoughtful messages! I hope for some good growth from all this in the future😉🌱 Hope the tiny one is growing beautifully and You have some time to do Your stuff! I just read about the car so I'll bust it once I stop writing this 🤠

I'm sorry it took so long to respond to this, you really opened up publicly to me and those who can read it and I wanted to take the time to respond.

You're so strong and brave, so trusting to lean on your support system and go, you know what? this is going to be hard but I can do this; I can fucking do it. Being able to see what it is but to then take those steps in the right direction and accepting help is a hard thing. I truly hope the journey through recovery goes well for you, challenging yes, but you have the right attitude and I believe you can do this...The doggie snuggles always help too, of course :)
I also hope that you're able to find you can balance work and recovery at the same time, it's already hard enough as it is!

I appreciate the well wishes you send my way and to my little one, she's growing so well and has been a little blessing. Like, you discover these deeper feelings you never knew existed when you have this little being that relies on you.

Of course, and much appreciated You found time to respond to my ramblings. 😉 Reading back at it now with a clearer head I see I was pouring it out there from an open heart, but at the time it did bring some comfort for sure, so thank You for being gentle and understanding <3.

I'm happy to say for at least 3 days now things are getting better and better rapidly. I think the medication went out of the adjustment phase ( it's been way over a month now on it) and I feel huge relief from the symptoms like the pain, fear and dissociation. I'm still not 100% there with energy, but it's so much easier now. I'm being optimistic and thinking clearer. We did some breakthroughs in therapy sessions also I think so it's not done yet but going in the right direction. 😊

You have this emotional maturity and consideration in Your responses that's great for supervisors and of course parents. Please take this compliment as an appreciation for Your kindness and hope karma comes back to You, CD. 😉❤️

I'm glad that there is still a glimmer of hope and people willing to help you build yourself up again. You deserve the good things that are waiting for you in the future.

Yeah, I'm very grateful that I'm not alone in this and that I'm financially covered for now. The bad stuff can't last forever, right? I'm still very confused about it all and not sure what to do next. I don't know what's a delusion and what's real, but then again I hear that it's supposed to go like this with the thing I'm going through. Thank You for Your good wishes Licky ♥️♥️♥️ I'm very slowly trying to go through the comments on this journal, but I appreciated them a lot and I keep them with me ever since You wrote them 🥲♥️ big hugs!

I think I agree. In general, good and bad have a time to exist and a purpose. Neither of them will last. We learn what we can, enjoy what we can, and become a little stronger each time we handle a new situation. ^^

It is very very natural to be confused and to have your senses shaken when something affects you this much. I've been there too and your mind will eventually heal when it is ready.

Big hugs to you too! ❤ :)

If you need to vent esteemed artist. Vent. Or risk exploding. I'm a combat war veteran so, semi familiar with PTSD. I can't speak from your experience but, I can say with time and a bit of proactive training.
You can taper your triggers and figure how to avoid them. Or recognize the signs when you're about to have issues.
My condolences to your emotional levels. Highs and lows are never "clean"

Thanks, Vawkis 🥲♥️. I guess venting does help. The diagnosis was an eye opener to me. I heard this specific type of PTSD called CPTSD is more associated with early development and childhood trauma, which tracks for sure, for sure. Reading through the specification of the disorder and realizing how much of it affected last 30 something years of my life was both very sad and reassuring. I'm excited to get the right treatment for it long term also and learning how to cope better than what I worked out for myself over the years. The uglier part is the one that lead me to the psychiatrists office in the first place and how to manage the consequences of it. My life has to change in a very dramatic way now and it will mean a lot of goodbyes I don't think I know how to handle yet. For now I'm going through grief I haven't experienced the kind of yet and I buried close friends and loved ones before. I sometimes think I'm loosing my mind and I don't know what to do. But it will end some day and I won't die from it. Appreciate what You wrote a lot. High and lows are never "clean" is a great thought. I will keep it in mind. ♥️

Thanks, Zeroken <3 I hope You are doing well! Thank You for the good word 🌷:)

Thinking of you and wishing you all the best Lily. Please take care. Things will get better!

Thanks, Adren TwT/ <3 Hope everything's good with You two talented beans!

As long as you're seeking help for your mental health, that's all that matters.

Hey, Panty! Yeah, I can't imagine going through this whole shitshow without it. I'm lucky to have this possibility and other support. I still don't know what to do about it, but maybe it will come with time. I'm trying to work it out, but it's so confusing. I'm sorry I missed Your birthday <3 It's cool to see You doing a lot of art lately!

I hope you can heal soon.

Thank You, Ognimod! All the best to You!

You're welcome!

I'm so sorry times are tough but so glad you have support through it! It makes all the difference in the world. Having diagnosis also helps a lot I find! I got a c-ptsd diagnosis 4 years ago and it really helped me zero in on what techniques would be helpful. Have you read "complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving" by Pete Walker? I found it especially helpful for accepting the diagnosis, and finding hope.
Anyway yeah! Hope things get better soon! Sending much love 💖💖💖

Hey, Teddy! Sorry it took me almost two weeks to answer. I don't have my act together yet and I tried going through the comments one by one from the top😅. But I was very excited about Your message since I read it the day You wrote it (but also sad You also got it, cause it's not blue eyes and it comes from bad stuff). I would really love to talk about C-PTSD with You some day if You don't mind! I will check the book for sure and I will DM You about it if You don't mind! I've been reaching out to some people who went through similar stuff and it was really helpful so far, but I'm still not sure what to do next. I hope You are doing well and maybe talk to You soon? <3 ( but also if it's like something You don't like/feel comfortable talking about I also get it so no pressure there! ). That new icon is very cute btw! ❤️❤️❤️

No need to apologize, there's no deadlines here! :) we can absolutely talk about it when you'd like! I'm in a pretty good place with it all right now so if you'd like to then feel free to send a message!
And thank you!! It's a redraw of my first icon, fun to see how my drawing has developed over the last few years! 💖

You're the best, Teddy! 🥲❤️

Careful with PTSD meds... Was diagnosed (probably wrongly, I did not see combat while in the service ¯\(º_o)/¯), and both medications I got for it erased all my fears and nightmares... but also my dreams,... and imagination,... and my sense of wonder,... and happiness,... and... well, you get it.

Took me six months to flush them out the system (along with taking Prevagen OTC); in short, PTSD treatment is really a minefield, so be really careful on what they offer you.

Hey, Bob! Thank You for Your message! That sounds awful and thanks for the heads up! Good You figured out You have to go clean at some point :frowning:. I've never been to military or anything of that sort, but from what I understood C-PTSD and PTSD are a bit different and closer to borderline (but I'm still learning about it, so not sure how much). What You describe sounds terrible ☹️. I will definitely be cautious about it and appreciate You sharing it! The treatment I'm offered right now is supposed to be the least invasive for starters, but could change if I don't respond right to it. Hope You're doing well now. Your art is an inspiration! Take care ♥️🤟

Just be careful, there is a small minority of mental care gents that will just push anything for (probably) quota... And I like your art too, so cheers!😃