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An Honest Opinion Poll
a year ago
General
I have a question for you guys, and I'm dead serious, and I'd like honest answers--
Did I go too far with this most recent storyline?
I was going to leave Kathy and Fred stranded on top of the Ferris wheel. Everyone would assume they "did it," but they'd insist they didn't. I was even trying to figure out ways to make sure that there was no question that they had not had sex in the gondola.
But as they say, "one thing led to another..."
I realized that leaving them there together all night--or even for several hours--would not be believable. So I had Jinjur come to get them down. I had every intention of having Jinjur actually drag Kathy off to practice for the big game in the morning.
Then--due to a combination of factors I'd prefer not to get into right now--I thought, "What if they blow her off and go have their wedding night?"
Fred had spilled the beans to her about Songween actually marrying them. That wasn't supposed to happen. Kathy was supposed to remain ignorant of that until much later in the story, again, for spoiler-y reasons I don' want to get into right now.
So seeing that they were actually married, and she had been crowned Heir, there was really no more Contractual reasons for them not to make love.
But...I still didn't want to go quite as far as I did.
As I worked on the script, though, I realized that I had been hinting at how difficult it is for spotted hyenas to mate, but never actually spelled it out. I couldn't get too graphic (even though Webtoons pulled the strips for being in violation of their policies on nudity and sexuality) but at the same time, I felt that I'd been teasing this relationship for so long that, well--in a way, I owed it to the readers to go as far as I could with it.
Which brings me back to me question: did I go too far?
I fear I may have upset some people. I've also gotten comments across my different platforms ranging from "Fred should throw her down and show her what he's made of!" to "Is Fred a rapist?"
The truth of the matter is, their relationship is complicated, by design. They were two strangers who had to get married. They don't have much in common. They are driven by a sense of duty. They have learned to appreciate each other and have developed an attraction for each other. Fred has psychological issues which he has spent twenty years bottling up and hiding from everyone, even himself, and they're starting to leak out now. His emotional side wants her. His logical side is still operating under the conditioning he received from his mother. He's like a starving dog who is too afraid of being beaten to snatch the meat that's been placed on his nose.
I get the feeling that I haven't really explained things enough, or at least, well enough. Fred is a sensitive, intelligent, but damaged soul hiding behind a stiff mask of duty and propriety. He hates to be the center of attention. He hates to not be in control. Kathy is as much of a whirlwind as her great-grandmother Songween is, and he's horrified that he will spend the rest of his life cleaning up after her. He is attracted to her, he sees potential in her, but he's a little repelled, too, because once he is her husband, he will have no power over her--he will, by Crocutan custom, have to do whatever she tells him to do. He does not want to lose the power he has as Head of the Household.
Of course I know all this stuff in my head, and I've talked about it here, and I hope I got enough of it out in the strip for his behavior to make sense, but I don't think I really did, considering the amount of confusion in some of the commentary recently.
The Crocutan culture is very different from our present Western human one. I based it on the mores of Victorian England, where women were essentially the property of their fathers until they married, then of their husbands. An heiress had to turn her possessions over to her husband to be managed. That's why Victorian fiction often featured an heiress whose father or stepfather refused to let her marry (and thus lose control of her money,) and of adventurers who tried to marry heiresses for their cash (and thus gain control of the money.) I of course just flipped it so it was the males who were the property of the females.
Well, that's the background of why Fred was vacillating about going to bed with Kathy. I also felt weird about making Kathy the sexual aggressor in this, because I felt it made her "not a nice girl," but when I looked back through the story, she was always the one chasing him around the room. Undressing for him? Well, they are married now, right?
But that got some other people concerned about consent. Of course if it were Fred trying to force Kathy to submit, many people would be upset about that. Kathy trying to get Fred to submit, and him resisting her? "Where's your balls, boy?"
I think that what it boils down to, is so many people wanted to see this go a certain way...which was different for each person reading it. And I don't feel I made anybody really happy.
So, did I go to far? Should I have simply left them on top of the Ferris Wheel...cut to the curtains...just gone off to play polo...or what?
Did I go too far with this most recent storyline?
I was going to leave Kathy and Fred stranded on top of the Ferris wheel. Everyone would assume they "did it," but they'd insist they didn't. I was even trying to figure out ways to make sure that there was no question that they had not had sex in the gondola.
But as they say, "one thing led to another..."
I realized that leaving them there together all night--or even for several hours--would not be believable. So I had Jinjur come to get them down. I had every intention of having Jinjur actually drag Kathy off to practice for the big game in the morning.
Then--due to a combination of factors I'd prefer not to get into right now--I thought, "What if they blow her off and go have their wedding night?"
Fred had spilled the beans to her about Songween actually marrying them. That wasn't supposed to happen. Kathy was supposed to remain ignorant of that until much later in the story, again, for spoiler-y reasons I don' want to get into right now.
So seeing that they were actually married, and she had been crowned Heir, there was really no more Contractual reasons for them not to make love.
But...I still didn't want to go quite as far as I did.
As I worked on the script, though, I realized that I had been hinting at how difficult it is for spotted hyenas to mate, but never actually spelled it out. I couldn't get too graphic (even though Webtoons pulled the strips for being in violation of their policies on nudity and sexuality) but at the same time, I felt that I'd been teasing this relationship for so long that, well--in a way, I owed it to the readers to go as far as I could with it.
Which brings me back to me question: did I go too far?
I fear I may have upset some people. I've also gotten comments across my different platforms ranging from "Fred should throw her down and show her what he's made of!" to "Is Fred a rapist?"
The truth of the matter is, their relationship is complicated, by design. They were two strangers who had to get married. They don't have much in common. They are driven by a sense of duty. They have learned to appreciate each other and have developed an attraction for each other. Fred has psychological issues which he has spent twenty years bottling up and hiding from everyone, even himself, and they're starting to leak out now. His emotional side wants her. His logical side is still operating under the conditioning he received from his mother. He's like a starving dog who is too afraid of being beaten to snatch the meat that's been placed on his nose.
I get the feeling that I haven't really explained things enough, or at least, well enough. Fred is a sensitive, intelligent, but damaged soul hiding behind a stiff mask of duty and propriety. He hates to be the center of attention. He hates to not be in control. Kathy is as much of a whirlwind as her great-grandmother Songween is, and he's horrified that he will spend the rest of his life cleaning up after her. He is attracted to her, he sees potential in her, but he's a little repelled, too, because once he is her husband, he will have no power over her--he will, by Crocutan custom, have to do whatever she tells him to do. He does not want to lose the power he has as Head of the Household.
Of course I know all this stuff in my head, and I've talked about it here, and I hope I got enough of it out in the strip for his behavior to make sense, but I don't think I really did, considering the amount of confusion in some of the commentary recently.
The Crocutan culture is very different from our present Western human one. I based it on the mores of Victorian England, where women were essentially the property of their fathers until they married, then of their husbands. An heiress had to turn her possessions over to her husband to be managed. That's why Victorian fiction often featured an heiress whose father or stepfather refused to let her marry (and thus lose control of her money,) and of adventurers who tried to marry heiresses for their cash (and thus gain control of the money.) I of course just flipped it so it was the males who were the property of the females.
Well, that's the background of why Fred was vacillating about going to bed with Kathy. I also felt weird about making Kathy the sexual aggressor in this, because I felt it made her "not a nice girl," but when I looked back through the story, she was always the one chasing him around the room. Undressing for him? Well, they are married now, right?
But that got some other people concerned about consent. Of course if it were Fred trying to force Kathy to submit, many people would be upset about that. Kathy trying to get Fred to submit, and him resisting her? "Where's your balls, boy?"
I think that what it boils down to, is so many people wanted to see this go a certain way...which was different for each person reading it. And I don't feel I made anybody really happy.
So, did I go to far? Should I have simply left them on top of the Ferris Wheel...cut to the curtains...just gone off to play polo...or what?
In the end (KD), follow your heart, mind, and instincts rather than what you think the audience wants. You might lose a fan or two but you'll gain others so it's a wash in the end. But, at least you'll feel good about your work.
You cannot please everyone and only make yourself miserable in the process of trying. My take is if you like it, read it. If you don't then don't. Think you can do better, do it!
Apparently I like your stories. Been following since 2004, for what it's worth. Keep going, stay true to your your vision of the story and we will continue to enjoy it.
And yes, the Crocutans are a far more violent and belligerent species. A "normal" sheyena would have belted her disobedient mate, then told him to get out of her sight.
now as for me. i would have given the duo advice of exploring one another. slowly vetting heavier with affections as they grew accustomed to each other. they should have a bit more discussion on what the other desires and expects , the doses of horny herb is making things difficult.body says yes. mind is falling inlove. tho primal bit and hormones are at war.
Things will be...awkward.
I think you've done things right. They have to get past the cruel trick evolution played on hyenas, and Fred needs to peek out over the walls he's built around himself. I'm told that the best relationships are built on communication. They'll get past this.
Vix
The problem is, this has radically changed their relationship, and I am going to have to explore that now.
If I had left them on the Ferris wheel, and the next time we see them, they're waking up the next morning naked and disheveled in bed--it would put me in the exact same place, only without the expository plot. It would be even more difficult to write the follow-up to that scenario because Fred's hang-ups would not have been explained to the readers.
There's no way I will give Fred's personality a complete make-over--as in, now that they've slept together, he's relaxed, loving, attentive, and gooey-eyed smitten with her. "Screw my schedule, we're staying in and ordering room service all day today." I've spent too many years showing him as a tightly wound martinet with a stick up his butt to to that. It would not be believable.
So naturally, Fred is not going to take this very well. He's going to feel embarrassment and guilt and shame. He's going to feel regret that he let himself be pressured into this, and that he still failed to perform the way he should have done.
And what about Kathy? Well, I'm still working on her reaction. After all, she came on like a hussy, then punched him for getting too aroused. She has a good bit of guilt and embarrassment to work through, too.
It's a very important part of the plot. And I can't just wave it away, or joke about "why hasn't he returned my calls?"
And meanwhile, there are people wanting to see the polo match, and what the lions are up to right now. Get past this mushy stuff, Writer, give us LIONS!
Yes, a writer should write to please herself. But if she ignores the opinions of her readers, she will wind up talking to herself.
Not too far.
Frankly, I think this expands their relationship in a way that will allow a deeper development.
Kathy now knows Freddy in a way that will allow her to understand his often stiff and standoffish behavior...
Its a deep defensive reaction to years of emotional abuse.
Shes going to have to take a gentle hand with him...But now she knows why.
I think this was a good choice for the progression of the story.
-Badger-