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Just need to put this out there!
a year ago
This is where it begins
This is kinda of a mini rant.
I don't want to be super sappy or negative, but I want to say something before I bottle it up even more!
As you may know, I tend to hide the fact that I'm indeed lonely and depressed.
Well those feeling are starting to pop up again. Not at full force, but sometimes it appears and I just don't want to deal with stuff, or just not care at all.
I try to to fake a smile but that doesn't work either, so I have to say it out now before it get worse.
What I mean is:
I feel like I'm not wanted or actually I feel like trying to be me doesn't seem to work out.
Ive lost a lot of friends since getting hacked three times on discord, and even brush people off that I wish I shouldn't have.
Luckily I'm grateful for the people who stick around and deal with my nonsense, and believe me, I wish that never happens.
I'm apologize if I'm acting like a hermit crab or I'm just stop talking all together, its not you, its me, and I want to change that, I want to be a friend someone counts on or wants to hang out, not someone who think they don't care about anymore and is a traitor of some sort, that's not me at all, or what I'm trying to accomplish.
One last thing:
Having a girlfriend or lover isn't out of the question, but the way I act towards people, I might as well forgot about that and be single forever.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to get off my chest, and I'm glad I did.
You don't have to read what I wrote cause I know someone people don't care and move on with their lives, but if you do I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I hopeful things will change.
I don't want to be super sappy or negative, but I want to say something before I bottle it up even more!
As you may know, I tend to hide the fact that I'm indeed lonely and depressed.
Well those feeling are starting to pop up again. Not at full force, but sometimes it appears and I just don't want to deal with stuff, or just not care at all.
I try to to fake a smile but that doesn't work either, so I have to say it out now before it get worse.
What I mean is:
I feel like I'm not wanted or actually I feel like trying to be me doesn't seem to work out.
Ive lost a lot of friends since getting hacked three times on discord, and even brush people off that I wish I shouldn't have.
Luckily I'm grateful for the people who stick around and deal with my nonsense, and believe me, I wish that never happens.
I'm apologize if I'm acting like a hermit crab or I'm just stop talking all together, its not you, its me, and I want to change that, I want to be a friend someone counts on or wants to hang out, not someone who think they don't care about anymore and is a traitor of some sort, that's not me at all, or what I'm trying to accomplish.
One last thing:
Having a girlfriend or lover isn't out of the question, but the way I act towards people, I might as well forgot about that and be single forever.
Anyways, that's all I wanted to get off my chest, and I'm glad I did.
You don't have to read what I wrote cause I know someone people don't care and move on with their lives, but if you do I thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I hopeful things will change.
I too am oft-times utterly silent, for fear of disturbing those with better things to do than speak with me, as I am oft-times unresponsive and self-absorbed when online. It's a well-understood thing.
Despite this, know please that I will always still be a friend, even through long silences on both our parts, and shan't say no should you choose to speak to me, or indeed even at me.
Much love, care, and affection,
Mika, aka Rheia Silvercloud on SL.
For your own health and safety, leave Discord.