I wonder how  CrizBN and  ChaseReynard Think of me now...? I was involved with my recklessness that ended up getting me blocked, and when attempting to make amends, Since I was still crazy and reckless, They didn't let me. Chris even stated that he didn't want to forgive people who were toxic to him in the past, and Reynard outright said that I was crazy, and That I would never change...


But that was then, When I was young, Crazy and reckless, even delusional at times... I am no more than the crazy figure that I once was... I've been blocked by them for 3 years, and that was more than a lesson enough that led me to being a better person in life here. But since they think I'd never change, They probably won't ever believe my words, so I wouldn't really expect them to secretly forgive me and not tell me.

But I do wanna tell them this...

From the bottom of my heart...

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything back then that made me the way you view me as.

I was young and reckless, and didn't know any better. I thought I could get my way when I begged for it, and when I didn't, I would get angry, like a spoiled brat...

But that was then. And this is now.

I'm Not the same delusional, crazy kid that I used to be... but, Knowing to the both of you, who think that I'll never change... and never want to forgive me...

It's fine to me. Fine by me.

I just came here to confess my sins to you, in hopes that, one day, ws could put this all behind us and move on... in fact, I have parted ways since then... 3 years ago, to be exact, and moved on to other things in my life rather than just pestering you both.

I met someone who has now become my co-writer, Who actually understands me, and understood my problems, and actually wanted to help me redeem myself, even if he didn't know much about it imwhen we first met.

Together, we wrote some wonderful stories, and even had fun times together, and, as of now, We've been working on a game, but the production of the game is currently in Hiatus due tk things beyond our control, but rest assured, once it gets in check, It will be good in the end...

His username is  TheD-Man2003, and if you think I am being untruthful, Then D could vouch for me... He could help me tell you that, The Alpha you met a long time ago, isn't the same as the Alpha you're speaking to now, as, well... Time moves on.

I'm still here, But I have shown to proven myself while I was away... unlike one person on DeviantArt I used to know, who clearly could never change his ways... thinking he could do the grossest thing imaginable, and could just get away with it... I worked with D to expose him, but he always lurks on Discord... always roaming the world, and looking for someone he could ravish for his grotesque amusement...

Following that, D wanted to tell you something, to help me explain to you...

"I must admit, I had my doubts as to how the friendship between Alpha and I would end up. But I don't have those now. We started off pretty small, just making short little stories that we posted onto DeviantArt for all to view.

I built up a trust in Alpha, though he didn't mention his past with you; that wasn't until last year where I learned just how much he had messed up in the past. When I heard that, I knew that this was no ordinary relationship. We were still friends, but now, I had a mission of my own with this person: to help him feel better about himself.

To help him move on in life, basically.

Three years, he's been stuck in this eternal feeling of guilt and remorse, with no way for the people who need to hear his cries able to hear him. When he told me what he did, I looked back at our time together. So much had happened since then, and not once had Alpha ever acted the way he described himself to behave towards you.

He's changed. He's not an arrogant and demanding brat. He's learned his lesson after you blocked him. He never asks for anything out of me, aside from my participation in his stories, which I am more than happy to oblige.

I hear his cries; they bring tears to my eyes. And yet... I'm not the one who should hear them, who needs to hear them. He's wanted to say this for months--possibly years-- to you, but never had the opportunity, at least until now."

-TheD-Man2003

But the point is... I'm sorry... I'm sorry that I have been the way I was back then... even how I behaved, Inadvertently been toxic to you both, Trying to use my autism as an excuse... I'm sorry about everything... all of those acts... it's my fault. All of it. I told my friend, D, about it, and he understands me, But I can't explain this myself...

Due to My autism, I can't truly explain things properly... and I'm not using that as an excuse this time, I truly mean it.

And as for my words, I truly mean it this time... I am not making anything up just so I could slip back into my old ways, and just beg like old times... I just wanted to put an end to this conflict. I just wanted to have a chance to at least atone for my sins and move on from the incident 3 years ago...

But knowing about how you probably would act... that may not be the case... Hopefully one day, you could see this, and maybe forgive me from the sins of the past... but knowing how life can be...

That never may turn out to be...

-Alphathebird1720