Let me preface this by saying I don't have a headset. My roommate upgraded his rig recently and that's how he ended up with two of them; he suggested letting me borrow it to attend this con and we just kind of went with it?

I'll admit I had a lot of apprehensions going in. I tend to avoid voice chats because it has always been very hard to hear and understand other people. The nature of VR very much forced me out of my comfort zone in this regard and I had mixed results. In general I try not to approach people because 9 times out of 10 the people I approach make me feel like I'm cutting in, ignore me outright, or dismiss whatever I have to say. If others approach me though, I find it easier to make a connection. I also have a tendency to be quiet because I was taught in middle school that I have to be extremely careful about what I say if I don't want to be attacked with it. Again the nature of VR forced me out of my comfort zone by putting me in situations where approaching people and talking to them was unavoidable if I wanted to get anything out of the con.

It was an interesting experience. I'm still not sure if VR is something I really want to get into outside of events like Furality, but I think I do understand now why the structure in convention special interest meets have gone out the window. It used to be that there would be a 'host' and he or she would encourage people to talk about themselves or their connection to their shared interest by broaching topics for discussion. VR doesn't really work like that; you're just thrown into a room and left to fend for yourself, which is what most meets at conventions have turned into these days. I do miss the old way of doing things as I felt it took away a lot of the sense of 'wandering' and awkwardness out of it but the new way makes actually meeting people feel more significant and authentic.

Maybe it's because we were all running around as fuzzy critters all weekend but I found it was easier to approach some people. Some, but not all. Everyone was really cool like, no one put me down or gave me shit I didn't deserve, but the way VR Chat works is it is designed to function around cliques instead of open groups. I've been told that this is done for safety reasons; public servers are full of trolls and screaming children so everyone only goes to private worlds they are personally invited to. I suppose that makes it imperative to keep the friends I made here close to my chest.

The event itself was great. World was well made, had it's own story and stuff, though I never saw anyone LARPING it. It was truly a festival taking place on another world-there was a solar eclipse and fireworks show, stuff not typically associated with your typical fur con. I found myself going to the dance hall more this time around; I usually ignore it at real events (with few exceptions for DJ's I'm familiar with. Guess I know more of them now!)

I don't know what I'm trying to say but it's like...Furality as an entire experience gave me the inkling that I am perhaps a lot more uncomfortable with myself then I previously cared to realize. I'm not sure where that discomfort is stemming from through. What's true is that I am what's holding me back. It's me. I need to figure out why that is and how to get around it. I wish it were something easy like being gay or trans, but that's not the case here.

I think what I need to do is ask the roommate if I can hold onto the headset a bit and actually use it periodically throughout the year.