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a year ago
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Hello everyone,
I have something to tell you, so please read it all down. You came here, because you probably like my art. You follow me somewhere and look at my silly pictures, it also maybe brings you joy, which is nice. I want my art to make other people’s life better, even if it just makes you smile. But just like a sad clown I have my personal life and secrets I don’t share with you. I don’t usually talk about my personal life, there is no reason, and after all you come for art, not for me. But today I’m gonna break a rule.
The thing is, I’m tired, so very tired. This year destroyed me on so many levels. Not only this was the worst winter of my life, I got sick, was inn so much pain, but it destroyed me mentally. To tell you why, you need to know I live with my partner who has a medical condition. I don’t go into details, but it’s one that drains us both mentally. He is not able to get over it as it is one that will stay with us for whole life and regular checkups are needed. Just when that time comes sends us into a lot of stress and if something goes really bad it totally paralyzes us. This is why he needs my help and care on daily basis, he has a very fragile state of mind. I’m not mad at him, it’s not his fault this is happening, but it puts a great deal of stress and mental exhaustion on me. I’m now just his partner, it’s like I’m his care taker at some points and it’s draining. So I need to stay with him at home.
That’s one thing, but there is more. We live in a place that is not ideal. Again, no details, but let’s say we live with other people. As adults, we are not able to live a normal adult life. We have to obey them as this is their place. That means we can’t make our own food. Imagine being an adult and not even being allowed to make your lunch, you’re like a small kid that goes to cafeteria and gets served things. No real privacy. We are being insulted all the time. This isn’t a real adult life, it’s like being a child. Imagine living like that every day and you can’t say anything. Why do we live like this? Because life circumstances forced us. Getting own place to live is extremely difficult in my country and region where we live. It requires a lot of money. We hoped to achieve our goal and get own place a long time ago, but things got progressively worse. The prices of real estate sky rocketed with covid and our funds are just not enough. We both work, I work as freelance artist and also as part time art teacher, but it’s not enough. We would need much higher monthly income to get something. So why don’t I do something to change it all? I want to, but I simply don’t have energy to do so.
Because of these living conditions, unfulfilled dreams that haunt me and the condition of my boyfriend, I totally burned out this year. I’m struggling to keep going, seeing it has no results. I’m tired of being treated as a child, of having no family of my own. I don’t know what it’s like to hold a baby in my 30s, something I wish for so much. I don’t know what it’s like to live like normal adult. And then I’m expected to make enough money and also take care of someone who is mentally dependant on me. And practically with no reward. All of this affected my mental health and creativity. It’s so exhausting making art, hoping you will get something, make some money, get more supporters and then be disappointed every day. I was keeping my mouth shut for so long, but I think I’ve reached my limit. I need help, I need it so much. I don’t want to cry every day, I don’t want to be jealous of other people where were more lucky than me.
Please, I beg you. I know you come to me just for my art, you don’t know me as a person. But there is a human behind these silly funny pictures. A human who is suffering every day and is struggling to make it through. I do what I can but it’s not enough. It’s driving me crazy and desperate. There were so many times when I just wanted to end it all. Please if you care even a little about me as a person and can have means of helping me, please do. I need a bigger stable monthly income to get out of this. Even if you would give ma single dollars, it would still be help. If you want to help me, please become my supporter on ko-fi, be my monthly member. I wouldn’t beg if the situation wasn’t this horrible, but I just can’t go on like this. It might kill me in the end and I would never know what it’S like to be really happy. My whole life has been like this. Please, id you can help me and care about me, please do.
If you want to help, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/lunar_turtle
Thank you, Lunar.
I have something to tell you, so please read it all down. You came here, because you probably like my art. You follow me somewhere and look at my silly pictures, it also maybe brings you joy, which is nice. I want my art to make other people’s life better, even if it just makes you smile. But just like a sad clown I have my personal life and secrets I don’t share with you. I don’t usually talk about my personal life, there is no reason, and after all you come for art, not for me. But today I’m gonna break a rule.
The thing is, I’m tired, so very tired. This year destroyed me on so many levels. Not only this was the worst winter of my life, I got sick, was inn so much pain, but it destroyed me mentally. To tell you why, you need to know I live with my partner who has a medical condition. I don’t go into details, but it’s one that drains us both mentally. He is not able to get over it as it is one that will stay with us for whole life and regular checkups are needed. Just when that time comes sends us into a lot of stress and if something goes really bad it totally paralyzes us. This is why he needs my help and care on daily basis, he has a very fragile state of mind. I’m not mad at him, it’s not his fault this is happening, but it puts a great deal of stress and mental exhaustion on me. I’m now just his partner, it’s like I’m his care taker at some points and it’s draining. So I need to stay with him at home.
That’s one thing, but there is more. We live in a place that is not ideal. Again, no details, but let’s say we live with other people. As adults, we are not able to live a normal adult life. We have to obey them as this is their place. That means we can’t make our own food. Imagine being an adult and not even being allowed to make your lunch, you’re like a small kid that goes to cafeteria and gets served things. No real privacy. We are being insulted all the time. This isn’t a real adult life, it’s like being a child. Imagine living like that every day and you can’t say anything. Why do we live like this? Because life circumstances forced us. Getting own place to live is extremely difficult in my country and region where we live. It requires a lot of money. We hoped to achieve our goal and get own place a long time ago, but things got progressively worse. The prices of real estate sky rocketed with covid and our funds are just not enough. We both work, I work as freelance artist and also as part time art teacher, but it’s not enough. We would need much higher monthly income to get something. So why don’t I do something to change it all? I want to, but I simply don’t have energy to do so.
Because of these living conditions, unfulfilled dreams that haunt me and the condition of my boyfriend, I totally burned out this year. I’m struggling to keep going, seeing it has no results. I’m tired of being treated as a child, of having no family of my own. I don’t know what it’s like to hold a baby in my 30s, something I wish for so much. I don’t know what it’s like to live like normal adult. And then I’m expected to make enough money and also take care of someone who is mentally dependant on me. And practically with no reward. All of this affected my mental health and creativity. It’s so exhausting making art, hoping you will get something, make some money, get more supporters and then be disappointed every day. I was keeping my mouth shut for so long, but I think I’ve reached my limit. I need help, I need it so much. I don’t want to cry every day, I don’t want to be jealous of other people where were more lucky than me.
Please, I beg you. I know you come to me just for my art, you don’t know me as a person. But there is a human behind these silly funny pictures. A human who is suffering every day and is struggling to make it through. I do what I can but it’s not enough. It’s driving me crazy and desperate. There were so many times when I just wanted to end it all. Please if you care even a little about me as a person and can have means of helping me, please do. I need a bigger stable monthly income to get out of this. Even if you would give ma single dollars, it would still be help. If you want to help me, please become my supporter on ko-fi, be my monthly member. I wouldn’t beg if the situation wasn’t this horrible, but I just can’t go on like this. It might kill me in the end and I would never know what it’S like to be really happy. My whole life has been like this. Please, id you can help me and care about me, please do.
If you want to help, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/lunar_turtle
Thank you, Lunar.
It takes guts to ask for help, and it's super important to let people know what's going on with you. Asking for support, whether it's just having someone to talk to or getting some financial help, is totally normal and okay when you're in a situation like this. Lots of people go through similar things and find that their community really steps up to help out.
If you haven't yet, it might be a good idea to look into local support groups or organizations that help people in tough living situations or provide support for caregivers. There could be some really helpful resources out there that you don't know about yet.
And about your art - it's obvious that creating is something that brings you happiness and helps you deal with everything. Sharing your story with your followers could lead to some unexpected support and understanding too. You could try using platforms like Ko-fi or other crowdfunding sites - you might be surprised by how many people are willing to chip in and support your work and well-being.
Just remember, you're not alone in this. There are people out there who care and want to help however they can. Keep reaching out and looking into your options. Take care of yourself as much as you can, and don't be afraid to lean on the people around you when you need some support.
You make cute art, and given what you described it makes sense that you'd be going through some burnout. Take as much time as you need to try and get stuff sorted out, folks will understand ^^. I wish ya good luck on saving up enough to get a place of your own.
And we don't even need house, getting a house here is like a fairy tale with the prices at this state. We just want an appartment.
Yeah, even here in the US houses are getting way too expensive for normal people.