FA+
Shop
What's Happening in Less Than A Week?
a year ago
>>>If this journal is before 2020, I was younger than 18 and experienced a lot of neurological trauma :woozy_face:
>>>If this journal is before 2022 August 17th this was before I was a furry!
>>>If this journal is before 2022 August 17th this was before I was a furry!
3 days from now - June 27th, my family will be movin' somewhere else. As a closeted furry, I will have even less privacy - and subsequently even less resources and time to do the furry things I do (including NSFW ;p). Those weeks long delays? They're gon be months to years long or more now.
No more voice or singing stuff likely, unlikely I'll make art, and very unlikely I'll ever do any roleplay stuff again x3
Might still talk here and there, but it will be VERY minimal likely
Guess we'll see what happens eh
Alright, that's what's most important to read. Feel free to click off and continue on your way uwu
No really, not much else to read or waste yer time on x3
Biohazard!!111!1!11!!! Turn backkkk lmao
How long? Probably indefinitely.
I've debated coming out as furry, but it wouldn't be that simple. Overtime, and it's especially a reason to why I'm furry, I've come to learn that, my family is indeed not normal, it's abusive very likely, quite exploitative, especially my mother - at least from what I've heard from others - been a long many years journey of discovery pfft. My father was physically abusive and got deported, so definitely not doing anything with him even if I wanted to lmao. To come out as a furry and have SOME breathing room, I'd likely have to monetize it so that it's ideal for my mother, advertise my fursona as a product. I'd likely have to hide my vore interests - don't think she was too supportive of anything pornographic and it'd be embarrassing to mention it. Hey on embarrassing, huskies are my mother's favourite dog breed... and being anthro-therian, y'know identifying with my fursona... Augh... If I do come out this way, I'll probably delete or edit this journal lol - might do that regardless anyways
That "exploitation" is why I'm so tired all the time, just so exhausted from it all. And I swear I'm just getting more and more chronically tired as it continues on... I could probably go into detail about that another time - if I do get that x3
I don't think I actually ever knew what it was like to be liked or even loved, I just thought it was odd whenever it happened, thinking like "dang, I didn't even try that hard or do that well lol" lmaooo. I mean it's still weird to me, I'm not used to someone actually liking me for me and not for what I can do or make 🤣
My family isn't right-wing or against LGBTQ, nor even against furries really, but their behaviours are... Yeah........
Another, more obvious solution is to just leave my family... But to where? I don't really have anywhere to go, especially with the financial and housing crisis' lmao. Don't have a passport so I'm stuck in Canada. Homelessness seems worse than ever and honestly I'm too much of a wuss for dealing with all that pfft. Don't have anyone I know irl that I could just go to - and I don't know many folk irl or have really any irl friends - maybe 1? not really connected with them anyways - we talk like every few months and they have no idea of me being furry anyways lmfao.
Never could really connect with anyone where I live anyways, it was all like cliques or just purely mean-spirited folk :weary:
And on top of that, no one familiar with or even interested in the things I was interested in X3
At this point, I've accepted this situation as it is, I didn't do enough to deal with it and that's on me. Letting my anxiety take the wheel and still letting it do so ;p
TL;DR folk, why you scroll down here! - basically I'll just be less furry and less active unless something happens to change it I gues ;p
No more voice or singing stuff likely, unlikely I'll make art, and very unlikely I'll ever do any roleplay stuff again x3
Might still talk here and there, but it will be VERY minimal likely
Guess we'll see what happens eh
Alright, that's what's most important to read. Feel free to click off and continue on your way uwu
No really, not much else to read or waste yer time on x3
Biohazard!!111!1!11!!! Turn backkkk lmao
How long? Probably indefinitely.
I've debated coming out as furry, but it wouldn't be that simple. Overtime, and it's especially a reason to why I'm furry, I've come to learn that, my family is indeed not normal, it's abusive very likely, quite exploitative, especially my mother - at least from what I've heard from others - been a long many years journey of discovery pfft. My father was physically abusive and got deported, so definitely not doing anything with him even if I wanted to lmao. To come out as a furry and have SOME breathing room, I'd likely have to monetize it so that it's ideal for my mother, advertise my fursona as a product. I'd likely have to hide my vore interests - don't think she was too supportive of anything pornographic and it'd be embarrassing to mention it. Hey on embarrassing, huskies are my mother's favourite dog breed... and being anthro-therian, y'know identifying with my fursona... Augh... If I do come out this way, I'll probably delete or edit this journal lol - might do that regardless anyways
That "exploitation" is why I'm so tired all the time, just so exhausted from it all. And I swear I'm just getting more and more chronically tired as it continues on... I could probably go into detail about that another time - if I do get that x3
I don't think I actually ever knew what it was like to be liked or even loved, I just thought it was odd whenever it happened, thinking like "dang, I didn't even try that hard or do that well lol" lmaooo. I mean it's still weird to me, I'm not used to someone actually liking me for me and not for what I can do or make 🤣
My family isn't right-wing or against LGBTQ, nor even against furries really, but their behaviours are... Yeah........
Another, more obvious solution is to just leave my family... But to where? I don't really have anywhere to go, especially with the financial and housing crisis' lmao. Don't have a passport so I'm stuck in Canada. Homelessness seems worse than ever and honestly I'm too much of a wuss for dealing with all that pfft. Don't have anyone I know irl that I could just go to - and I don't know many folk irl or have really any irl friends - maybe 1? not really connected with them anyways - we talk like every few months and they have no idea of me being furry anyways lmfao.
Never could really connect with anyone where I live anyways, it was all like cliques or just purely mean-spirited folk :weary:
And on top of that, no one familiar with or even interested in the things I was interested in X3
At this point, I've accepted this situation as it is, I didn't do enough to deal with it and that's on me. Letting my anxiety take the wheel and still letting it do so ;p
TL;DR folk, why you scroll down here! - basically I'll just be less furry and less active unless something happens to change it I gues ;p
Though I only have my mother to worry about because well, my father is all the way in Mexico ;p
Mother seems neutral enough to the furry fandom as a whole, but the fetishist part is where it'll go wrong I imagine. I mean she has said she'd be accepting regardless but it's ehhhh
And that's ignoring the current issues I have with and from her :woozy_face: I kinda hope it'll lessen but I sadly doubt it
And not only little time, I forgot to mention, I'm also allergic to the place, so I'll be even more exhausted pfft :weary:
I'll see what privacy and boundaries I can establish, but judging by prior visits I've had there and looking at the room I'm given (which I'm sharing with the youngest of my siblings .w.), I won't have much. Especially with my mother likely being there 24/7 instead of 3 days every like 2 weeks - meaning I'll barely be able to use my voice in the first place (she likes yelling at me for even the most whispery methods of talking ...)
Yuuup, it's literally the only reason why I'm even closeted. If I had somewhere else to go, I wouldn't be closeted as I wouldn't have anyone to hide from anymore uwu
Yeah, economics be like :weary: - literally worst time for me to be experiencing this PFFT - like why couldn't it have happened earlierrrrrr - or well it did but I didn't notice or care for the signs, thinking it was normal ugh.
I've got the fortune of not being in debt (never went to college/university and know how sussy businesses can be as well), so at least I've got that going for me :D
I hope you figure something out, privacy is essential in life and as much as I love my siblings I prefer (as strongly as one possibly can) to not share a room with them again.
You staying in Ontario or is your move taking you out of province?
Well my siblings are very entitled as well :weary: it's all so crappy that it feels like a movie at times - like this is not something you see outside of non-fiction, the amount of goofy bad scheisse :skull:
Staying in Ontario, it's just a city over.