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can y'all confirm or deny this??
a year ago
chemo, lots of hospital trips, like 2+ hours of travel a day but i finally got all the medical and insurance stuff straightened out for my grandpa, and the lymphoma in his throat has already started shrinking so yeah.
now the fun stuff, i got laid off from my 8-ish year job because my family and my boss have beef with each other for some inexplicable reason, and they're now treating it as "oh we're gonna have to sell the house to live."
firstly my art can reel in upwards of $1600 a month when i'm busy and i'm sticking to my commissions, which i've had to postpone because of A. fractured hand (it's healed thankfully, i'm de-rusting), and B. i've been driving literally all over Mississippi and Louisiana since late June getting my grandpa diagnosed and tested for his sudden cancer. I've had no time to get like big comms out so i've chipped away at small pics.
so basically it's like, my folks are telling me that whatever i have saved up isn't enough to get us through and i'm like, but it is cos the house is paid off, the cars are paid off, all i'm paying are just bills, i don't even buy games or shit (i sold my entire room worth of shitty collectibles i amassed in college and high school).
where am i going with this, bear with me cos i'm running on 3 hours sleep and a few shots of bourbon (tastes like a fucking liquified coffee table)
they're saying this: we're poor, we're gonna have to sell blank blank blank find a new job sell the dog sell the car (which they took my $10K earlier this year for a shitty broken down Nissan fyi still not letting that go)
THE KICKER: "after your pa finishes chemo, you're going back to college."
so let me get this straight...we're poor...but instead of working full time, i should spend MORE money because "you'll make it all back when you graduate and then some."
their generation is fuckin cracked, i'm thinking about like, opening a shop where you can come punch me in the face for never shutting up about my life, $5 a punch.
now the fun stuff, i got laid off from my 8-ish year job because my family and my boss have beef with each other for some inexplicable reason, and they're now treating it as "oh we're gonna have to sell the house to live."
firstly my art can reel in upwards of $1600 a month when i'm busy and i'm sticking to my commissions, which i've had to postpone because of A. fractured hand (it's healed thankfully, i'm de-rusting), and B. i've been driving literally all over Mississippi and Louisiana since late June getting my grandpa diagnosed and tested for his sudden cancer. I've had no time to get like big comms out so i've chipped away at small pics.
so basically it's like, my folks are telling me that whatever i have saved up isn't enough to get us through and i'm like, but it is cos the house is paid off, the cars are paid off, all i'm paying are just bills, i don't even buy games or shit (i sold my entire room worth of shitty collectibles i amassed in college and high school).
where am i going with this, bear with me cos i'm running on 3 hours sleep and a few shots of bourbon (tastes like a fucking liquified coffee table)
they're saying this: we're poor, we're gonna have to sell blank blank blank find a new job sell the dog sell the car (which they took my $10K earlier this year for a shitty broken down Nissan fyi still not letting that go)
THE KICKER: "after your pa finishes chemo, you're going back to college."
so let me get this straight...we're poor...but instead of working full time, i should spend MORE money because "you'll make it all back when you graduate and then some."
their generation is fuckin cracked, i'm thinking about like, opening a shop where you can come punch me in the face for never shutting up about my life, $5 a punch.
what's this fetish people have with accruing debt
The problem is, anyone willing to try that took a break between college and high school is done for
Erm, great system, DORKS |:<
also, as soon as I read this, my puppy peed the bed despite JUST peeing outside D; I blame your folks for being dumb, it's rubbing off on my small doge
If you know the college is low cost with a high likelyhood of a good job it is possibly worth it.
If so, I seriously think you should move out.
Going to college... might you... some people graduate and upsettingly don't get the job they applied for. Having to work fast food and other low end jobs.
I hope things get better but I also hope you don't get anymore headaches.
Its not good for you T.T
Also, yeah, this seems like a maneuver to keep him rooted where he is, to keep him paying debt indefinitely so he can't build up his own capital, which is more of a reason to leave.
Like ok thanks, taking care of my pa on chemo wasn't hard enough I appreciate that also on me.
You probably get this a lot, but you really need to go no contact with these people.
Actually, didn't we have this conversation before? Because it feels familiar.
But it sounds to me your parents just have selective understanding.
Very shitty of them to put so much on your shoulders, then sit around and complain.
I just finished five years of Community College; they can fuck right off. Sure you can get Financial Aid in order to cover your books and shit, but I'm positive that if you're the only one making the money in that hourse, Financial Aid/FAFSA isnt' gonna do DICK. If you can get a normal job, just get a normal job (you probably make more anyways); the thing is that THEY all gotta get jobs too. If you're the only one putting money into the house considering all that you've already done; they can all just rot in hell.
I'm so sorry you gotta deal with Narcissistic Motherfuckers like them; you don't deserve this. Jesus CHRIST!
It sounds like they've made you give up everything for them. At some point, you just have to say, "yeah, but you're adults, the people who I was supposed to turn to and rely on when I needed it."
Try to live your life for you, and remember that nothing has to be forever, either. But try and walk away, even if just for a few years, and take care of yourself. They've stolen enough of your life as it is.
Clearly they're forgetting what happened and how these "higher education" institutions have become financial traps over the years courtesy of vulture capitalists running them.
???
So yeah thanks businesses, I'm glad uh, honestly I was gonna make a joke about getting a better job as a highschool grad but then I realized that's what I'd BEEN doing since with my art.
I hope you end up in a spot where you are in a better place soon, cause fuck those assholes. If someone told me "we have to sell your cat." i would beguin systematicly killing everyone who came within feet of my cat, and then some.
your family is very stupid. Hope youe grandfather gets better soon, And I hope you can get unemplotment for that job thing(since wrongful termination might be hard to prove.)
I just sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. There's my statement lmfao
but yeah fuck that! College ain't the end all be all solution. I know it's hard but you git this!
seriously, NO ONE i know who went to college ever got anything out of it except for crippling debt.
most of my family never went to college, or even really finished high school.
they work in retail and factories, and manage things just fine.
fuck college, unless you have the money and aspirations to be a doctor or lawyer, so you can put other people in debt.
Godspeed on your grandpa's recovery, hope his health will continue to improve.
Also even if you finish college, getting the job that you've been learning is not 100% at all. If you want something like that, go learn how to do tile setting or other handy man shit basically.
Now from what I've been told, Trade School or Community College is the better option for being significantly cheaper, but that's entirely up to you.
Damn. Those three words bring this to a new level.
Givers need to set limits, because takers don't have any. Get out of there man.
Oh and whatever you do, make sure they don't do some shady shit where they take out a student loan in your name. Student loans in the US are a death trap.
Selling your car means paying more for public transportation.
What are they, the ministry of good ideas?
and then they got a car we didn't need, and started getting stuff like a $100 bathtub to sit out in the back yard (we also didn't need that)
or a $30 ice cream maker that nobody's opened cos they buy ice cream every week
like maybe actually stop spending money on stuff that goes to waste???
If they're meant to get it together and pull themselves out of their situation, they'll figure it out. You have potential. Don't let it get killed by them.
It's nice to hear that you are able to get some good amount of income per month with your commissions and once you are fully de-rusted I hope to commission you at some point. Your art is really nice and I enjoy seeing it.
I do agree that their mentality is horrendously backwards. Going to college is only getting you in more money trouble when, by their own words, "you are having enough trouble with money". Do anyone else amongst them even work? From the sounds of it all it seems you are the only one making money.
I usually didn't MIND but it's eating into my work. No college please but dang, if it guaranteed me like "oh yes you take 2 years and you will 100% make six digits ASAP" then hell yeah. But that's not how it goes.
Nevertheless, I'm glad you enjoy my art, so thank you.
Back home no one wants to hire me, and those that do pay me pennies.
Law Degree is completely useless here, because of differing law systems, and Brexit ruined my initial plan of settling in the UK. And trying to work in government or international organizations sucks because of corruption and nepotism. I’ve been unemployed for 6 months and just now I’ve managed to get a job, after like 3 months of interviews, tested and background checks.
I have to constantly tell my family that getting a PhD would make me even more of a laughing stock, and more in debt. Honestly, I am just looking for ways to put my law degree to good use, or just get the heck out of dodge.
I deeply sympathies with your pains, I know it sucks :( From what I see and hear, the most lucrative jobs are those that don’t require law degrees. I know carpenters, plumbers, electricians and plain contractors that make more than I can hope to make. Real work pays real money…
That may be a solution. But of course, everywhere it’s different.
I really hope you can find your way and make ends meet.
All the best dude!
They're gonna run the rest of you into a grave at the rate this is going.
How are they gonna sell anything they don't even own, anyway.
Go to college, make tons of money stopped being the plan decades ago, sadly.
but they're all sorts of negative and fucked so i'm like wait i'm not living my own life, i'm just everyone's pack mule
They sound like they really will work you to death, given the chance.
Hopefully, that feeling of not living your own life spurs you on first.
Life or death decisions are not good for you, if you can avoid them.
My roommate made the decision for me, in my case. I cannot no, will not let him destroy my mental health anymore than he has.
Granted, my circumstances are less dire from my standpoint, you gotta take control from these people that would watch you burn to warm their hands.
I do sincerely hope you find whatever strength you need to take the step for you to be happy. You truly deserve it for the hell you've been put through.
are you sure you dun have the option to just...leave? you dun have to be the pillar for your parents forever that's not why they raised you.
i really wanna leave, i want control over my life
So it's like ok stop hanging up "NOW HIRING" signs everywhere if you're gonna ghost me 3 applications in a row.
On top of it you spend way too much for it unless you go to a shit public community college that is the lowest run tier and only costs a couple hundred bucks per class. I took one semester of classes, saw all classes wanted you to do was write reports and essays like a good lil drone to condition you to be a reporter and I"m like nah man I'm out. During my time of highschool and college they were prepping everyone to try to become some kind of journalist with how much they wanted you to write. No wonder why we have so many shitty journalists in our current day and age. All the people in my generation became them.
1. Time - Consider the time you have now. Because college is very time consuming, whatever is monopolizing your time now, college is gonna be that for the next 2-4 years for a decent degree.
2. Cost - College costs money, a lot of it (which you are obviously aware of). The more specialized your field, the more expensive, books housing (if needed) transportation + the usual overhead for just living.
3. Your folks Perspective - "you'll make it all back when you graduate and then some." was probably true for them. Its not exactly the same but it IS true college degrees (generally speaking) improve employment prospects.
A LOT of what I said makes it sound somewhat discouraging, so I'll just say that, if you can keep your costs down, (and maybe consider a less expensive online college if that's possible for you, and 75%+ employers accept accredited online degrees because the jobs market has changed).
TLDR - Go to college if you have a specific reasonably well paying career in mind, if not, it might not be worth the cost.
1: You're able to make $1600/mo as an artist? Holy shit.
2: By rights, $1600 should be enough to carry your family under your particular circumstances. Late-stage capitalism, however, is the polar opposite of rights.
3: Perhaps your family ought to invest in—and read—a copy of 'The Metamorphosis', by Franz Kafka. Then perhaps they should try to solve their own goddamned problems instead of heaping it all onto 'The Reliable'.
4: There was a good reason for college, once. That reason has turned into more late-stage capitalism bullshit; it isn't even social mobility gatekeeping anymore, just another money-grubbing scheme bordering on fraud. Today's graduates are neither qualified nor valued, save as another debt farm. Do Not.
5: Generationally speaking, you're looking at decades of high intensity mass brainwashing by an industry that cut its teeth selling war to the public. These ways of thinking are incorrect, but impressed by an external malevolent force. Just understand that much about it.
I really don't wanna spend the next few months helping my pa through chemo to be "rewarded" by quitting my job to focus on medical studies, I'd sooner shoot myself.
Because if it is doctor it is going to be years before you see a return on investment, and that's after medical school. Residency is not a lucrative job position. Just because medicine is expensive that doesn't mean the medical workers are seeing much of it.
But maybe that's what a "calling" is all along.
Yet, if there is anything the medical field does have, it is job security.
Medical bills in the US are pretty awful, but you're also not expected to pay off the debts of your entire family?
so i owe her, but she's making it VERY difficult to empathize with her, i feel like a sicko typing this like "oh yeah fuck the poor woman who raised me she was beat and screwed by horrible men, IM LEAVING HURDUR"
we, and i mean I, bought a shitty nissan for $10K and not a few months later they wanna sell it for uh, how'd they word it..."We could get at least $6,000 for it and put that into a new car!"
LIKE PLEASE SPARE ME PLEASE.
i cannot physically or MORALLY ditch them
This is important!
If you have outstanding medical bills, or your Grandfather does, which seems likely as Chemo is not cheap, the hospital and the debt recovery people can take all your assets. EXCEPT THE HOUSE.
The minute you sell it however, it becomes cash and fair game and zwwoop it's gone.
NO MONEY and NO HOUSE.
A friend of mine experienced exactly that. He was told not to sell, he did, and everything was taken out of his bank to pay the outstanding medical debts. And if you don't have some now, you MIGHT. Especially if your mother kills herself and you have to pay for a coroner's investigation. How she thinks that will make things easier for you is beyond me.
I feel you should make some boundaries, some lines, that if they cross you're out, you've done your bit. Selling the dog, selling the car, drugging you and selling one of your kidneys, something. You don't have to tell them, just decide ahead of time so in the moment you know it's too much. It's like watching a hurricane approach, sooner or later, when the levees break, the water is rising, the first floor is flooded, you're bouncing off the ceiling, at some point you have to -get out-, and the 'this is fine, I can manage it' inertia keeps playing unless you've picked a point.
Honestly, if they do sell the house, that's the perfect excuse to find yourself a small apartment, hopefully near to a new job, and there's simply no space for them, and you're busy AT WORK all the time. The only excuse my family ever bought for me not helping out was 'job needs me'. They never gave a damn or supported my art in any way. My plans, happiness, whatever, always had to be sacrificed for their selfish reasons, but I was being selfish for saying no.