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My 41st Year Begins... (whether I like it or not)
a year ago
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Well, guys? It's been 41 years for me, so far.
And it's also been 16 years since I've really gotten into the furry fandom as a way to cope with the fact that I'm no good at being in a more serious relationship with somebody.
For those of you who remember the real, personal reason I got into this fandom, I'll reiterate for those who don't:
I knew a girl for 9 years who I wanted to be in a romantic relationship with, but she lived far from where I've been while in high school and college. So every break I had from studies, I went to see her.
Then when she started to actually "date" a man 3 times her age... my hopes were shattered.
As I allowed my grievances and sorrow to fade away with every piece of fetish art I completed, uploaded, and shared; the more I realized how... inadequate... my social life has really been.
I was diagnosed with autism since I was 3 years old, which affected the way I learned in school, but crippled the way I try to get along with other kids growing up.
I moved/relocated 10 times in my life, including my time in California for college, so it inhibited me from building a long enough social history with anyone.
My father was overprotective of me and never condoned nor provided the proper support for me to be a more outgoing person. He was just afraid that I'd say the wrong things (which unfortunately I did a few key times). That's just one more reason I struck out on my own in California; to become a better social person... yet my mileage varied.
And so, here I am now: still single, middle aged, and no actual social circle outside of who I'm in contact with online. My family is doing what they could to keep me in the cycle of adult conformity, yet it's not helping my social needs at all.
I don't know what would be a greater birthday present than being in regular contact with a social worker. A paid specialist who takes time to see me on a scheduled basis. Maybe that's what I need?
Anyway, you guys know how I feel now. Birthday wishes are always welcomed, but please don't hesitate to speak your minds for me. Thank you for following me these past 16 years so far.
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Sorry about what happened in your past, that sucks what happened.