FA+
Shop
Big Joe Foof Chairs are the best!
a year ago
Harping on this again for my 100th journal entry. I used to have a pair of these back before I moved into my former college roommate's basement after losing my apartment to a swindling rent-hiker.
https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/p.....208%2C69851981
Imagine building the fattest fat-fursuit of all time around a half-giant-pear/half-giant-peach body type with a pair of those as the BLUBBERRUMP! o/////W/////o That's exactly what I used to do, except it never evolved into a fursuit. Still, those combined with the belly part that I made (I still have the stuff for putting that part together - refer to my scraps to see it when it's in "belly mode") made Jabba the Hutt, Baron Harkonnen, and Pearl from 'Blade' all look like Wilt from 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'!
I bought my "Big Joe" Foof chairs back in 2002. Had them for, like, 17-ish years. I still miss them. They filled up my bedroom from wall to wall. That's at least 14 feet wide! Imagine having a butt that wide! o/////~/////o That site lists them for a good price. Just over $200. That's less than I paid for mine 22 years ago-go. There are similar things that are even bigger and more luxurious, but almost all of them are overpriced by comparison.
One thing that irritates me about some of these sites - and this might be my detail-focused, hyper-analytical "Alphys side" speaking - is when they describe Foof chairs as "beanbag chairs." They're not beanbags! They're filled with the same kind of foam that goes in couch cushions. The customer deserves to know what they're buying, right? Foofs, or anything similar, are a massive step up from beanbags. Beanbags are pedestrian. Foofs are elite. Ergo, to describe Foofs as "beanbags" does them a disservice, does your own business a disservice, and technically counts as false advertisement. It's the equivalent of a restaurant menu listing salmon florentine as fish sticks or something. Fish sticks are good. Salmon florentine is better.
If you did build a fattest-of-all-time fursuit around this concept, keep in mind that you'll be completely immobile and helpless while "wearing" it. Because "you" don't wear "it." It wears YOU! };3 I mean, you can "evac" from it easily(ish) in its base form. If a fursuit was built around it, there'd have to be some kind of safety system so the "wearer" can get in and out of it quickly enough and easily enough. Otherwise, it might need a built-in toilet of some sort. Should have a cooling system too (the built-in toilet would be the "ultra-deluxe" luxury model). If you planned to wear it outside your home, like to a furcon or wherever else, you'd have to either break it down and reassemble it on-site, or you'd need to be transported while wearing it - in a trailer of some sort towed by your loving friends in whatever tow-worthy vehicle's on-hand - to a place where you'll surely be a public spectacle of helpless overindulgence, destined to be massaged, caressed, cuddled, tickled, and publicly pampered non-stop by everyone who lays eyes on you.
o////////////////////~////////////////////o
And if the thought of that happening to you makes you blush, then it might just happen to you for real. I mean, like, actually for real! };3
https://www.wayfair.com/furniture/p.....208%2C69851981
Imagine building the fattest fat-fursuit of all time around a half-giant-pear/half-giant-peach body type with a pair of those as the BLUBBERRUMP! o/////W/////o That's exactly what I used to do, except it never evolved into a fursuit. Still, those combined with the belly part that I made (I still have the stuff for putting that part together - refer to my scraps to see it when it's in "belly mode") made Jabba the Hutt, Baron Harkonnen, and Pearl from 'Blade' all look like Wilt from 'Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends'!
I bought my "Big Joe" Foof chairs back in 2002. Had them for, like, 17-ish years. I still miss them. They filled up my bedroom from wall to wall. That's at least 14 feet wide! Imagine having a butt that wide! o/////~/////o That site lists them for a good price. Just over $200. That's less than I paid for mine 22 years ago-go. There are similar things that are even bigger and more luxurious, but almost all of them are overpriced by comparison.
One thing that irritates me about some of these sites - and this might be my detail-focused, hyper-analytical "Alphys side" speaking - is when they describe Foof chairs as "beanbag chairs." They're not beanbags! They're filled with the same kind of foam that goes in couch cushions. The customer deserves to know what they're buying, right? Foofs, or anything similar, are a massive step up from beanbags. Beanbags are pedestrian. Foofs are elite. Ergo, to describe Foofs as "beanbags" does them a disservice, does your own business a disservice, and technically counts as false advertisement. It's the equivalent of a restaurant menu listing salmon florentine as fish sticks or something. Fish sticks are good. Salmon florentine is better.
If you did build a fattest-of-all-time fursuit around this concept, keep in mind that you'll be completely immobile and helpless while "wearing" it. Because "you" don't wear "it." It wears YOU! };3 I mean, you can "evac" from it easily(ish) in its base form. If a fursuit was built around it, there'd have to be some kind of safety system so the "wearer" can get in and out of it quickly enough and easily enough. Otherwise, it might need a built-in toilet of some sort. Should have a cooling system too (the built-in toilet would be the "ultra-deluxe" luxury model). If you planned to wear it outside your home, like to a furcon or wherever else, you'd have to either break it down and reassemble it on-site, or you'd need to be transported while wearing it - in a trailer of some sort towed by your loving friends in whatever tow-worthy vehicle's on-hand - to a place where you'll surely be a public spectacle of helpless overindulgence, destined to be massaged, caressed, cuddled, tickled, and publicly pampered non-stop by everyone who lays eyes on you.
o////////////////////~////////////////////o
And if the thought of that happening to you makes you blush, then it might just happen to you for real. I mean, like, actually for real! };3
