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Trouble finding the "community" in the rubberfur communit...
a year ago
General
So I don't usually post this kind of thing here but I figured I would on the off chance that it actually does something.
For a while I've felt kind of disillusioned with the rubberfur community and it's not because of anything anyone specific has done. Rather, I've found it really hard to be on here regularly and as a result I can't really say I have a lot of friends in this community. Sure I KNOW a lot of people. But honestly I don't really talk with most of the people who know me on here all that often, much less hang out with them at all. The majority of people I know on here just kind of stopped messaging me after a while, and I'm too afraid to reach out again on the off chance that they stopped messaging me out of some annoyance or grievance. I know that's mostly just social anxiety but it's honestly exhausting being constantly worried about how people perceive me.
I know it's kind of my fault; I've been so busy with my last year of college and I've been putting a lot more energy into my life irl than I have on here. I have a bunch of furry friends and a great small college friend group, my grades are okay and I'm starting to look into career stuff... but the downside is that I barely have the energy to even look for new communities on here.
Honestly it's been hard connecting with people on here even before I became less active. I'm not the best at finding Discords or whatever to hang out in, and the ones I'm in are either dead, really tight knit so I don't feel like I fit in, or filled with people who give me bad vibes. Most of the people I have added don't actually talk to me at all and at this point I'm just kind of wondering if there's even a point? A part of me feels like I could rid myself of a lot of insecurity just by sticking to art and not even trying to interact with people on here. But I want to have friends in this community and it sucks when I'm not just held back by my life off the internet, but just how hard it is to find people who genuinely want to talk to me.
Idk if I'm also just socially awkward to the point where people don't want to associate with me? I'm adhd/autistic but I've never really been able to get a complete sense of how much I "pass" to neurotypical people and maybe it's all in my head, but I've had enough people avoid/ignore me to my face because I was weird like one time. And it's annoying because you can never just ASK because then you look weird in the process anyway. It's to the point where I'm afraid to even reach out to anyone because I don't want to come across as annoying because then it's in some guy's DMs forever and they can tell their friends about how awkward I was.
The other thing is that so many people in this community are just horny 24/7 and while I'm totally down to get lewd with people I know, I don't want that to be literally the only thing we do because then that's the only reason I talk to you. I need to just start ignoring people who open with "hi how are you" or "do you rp" like send me a funny meme or tell me about your special interests, don't try to dom me repeatedly after I tell you that IM a dom or flirt with me and then call me "sus" because that shit makes me want to take a boiling shower.
I'm not expecting this post to really fix anything, I just wanted to air this out to anyone who used to talk to me for a little bit because I really feel like I barely have anyone here I've genuinely connected with. I don't want that to come across as callous to the people who DO feel like they've connected with me, but I can't help but feel disconnected from all of this compared to the friendships I have offline.
I guess this is kind of a call for help? This is an online space that I'm invested in and I hate feeling like I'm either not welcome here or just too stupid to find where I fit in. I know a lot of it is just in my head but I don't know HOW much of it is, and I also know that at least some of it isn't.
It's not like I want to even be all that popular either, I could be fine with just one or two decently active group chats and a server of people who ACTUALLY know me. I just don't really have that connection with anyone on here and it sucks :/
anyway I'm almost done drawing a Spyro suiting sequence commission, classes have had me busy as usual but I'm trying to get on it more than I usually do. Expect that within like a week or so, and keep in mind I post on Patreon a few days before I do everywhere else!
Thanks (pls talk to me im lonely and awkward), Ace
For a while I've felt kind of disillusioned with the rubberfur community and it's not because of anything anyone specific has done. Rather, I've found it really hard to be on here regularly and as a result I can't really say I have a lot of friends in this community. Sure I KNOW a lot of people. But honestly I don't really talk with most of the people who know me on here all that often, much less hang out with them at all. The majority of people I know on here just kind of stopped messaging me after a while, and I'm too afraid to reach out again on the off chance that they stopped messaging me out of some annoyance or grievance. I know that's mostly just social anxiety but it's honestly exhausting being constantly worried about how people perceive me.
I know it's kind of my fault; I've been so busy with my last year of college and I've been putting a lot more energy into my life irl than I have on here. I have a bunch of furry friends and a great small college friend group, my grades are okay and I'm starting to look into career stuff... but the downside is that I barely have the energy to even look for new communities on here.
Honestly it's been hard connecting with people on here even before I became less active. I'm not the best at finding Discords or whatever to hang out in, and the ones I'm in are either dead, really tight knit so I don't feel like I fit in, or filled with people who give me bad vibes. Most of the people I have added don't actually talk to me at all and at this point I'm just kind of wondering if there's even a point? A part of me feels like I could rid myself of a lot of insecurity just by sticking to art and not even trying to interact with people on here. But I want to have friends in this community and it sucks when I'm not just held back by my life off the internet, but just how hard it is to find people who genuinely want to talk to me.
Idk if I'm also just socially awkward to the point where people don't want to associate with me? I'm adhd/autistic but I've never really been able to get a complete sense of how much I "pass" to neurotypical people and maybe it's all in my head, but I've had enough people avoid/ignore me to my face because I was weird like one time. And it's annoying because you can never just ASK because then you look weird in the process anyway. It's to the point where I'm afraid to even reach out to anyone because I don't want to come across as annoying because then it's in some guy's DMs forever and they can tell their friends about how awkward I was.
The other thing is that so many people in this community are just horny 24/7 and while I'm totally down to get lewd with people I know, I don't want that to be literally the only thing we do because then that's the only reason I talk to you. I need to just start ignoring people who open with "hi how are you" or "do you rp" like send me a funny meme or tell me about your special interests, don't try to dom me repeatedly after I tell you that IM a dom or flirt with me and then call me "sus" because that shit makes me want to take a boiling shower.
I'm not expecting this post to really fix anything, I just wanted to air this out to anyone who used to talk to me for a little bit because I really feel like I barely have anyone here I've genuinely connected with. I don't want that to come across as callous to the people who DO feel like they've connected with me, but I can't help but feel disconnected from all of this compared to the friendships I have offline.
I guess this is kind of a call for help? This is an online space that I'm invested in and I hate feeling like I'm either not welcome here or just too stupid to find where I fit in. I know a lot of it is just in my head but I don't know HOW much of it is, and I also know that at least some of it isn't.
It's not like I want to even be all that popular either, I could be fine with just one or two decently active group chats and a server of people who ACTUALLY know me. I just don't really have that connection with anyone on here and it sucks :/
anyway I'm almost done drawing a Spyro suiting sequence commission, classes have had me busy as usual but I'm trying to get on it more than I usually do. Expect that within like a week or so, and keep in mind I post on Patreon a few days before I do everywhere else!
Thanks (pls talk to me im lonely and awkward), Ace
But, I do hope you know you are appreciated, and if you see me on Telegram or something I'd love to be poked so we can geek out about rubber together :3
I'm definitely up to talk. I haven't found any rubber lovers to regularly talk to around my area, let alone here.