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Stupid Vent idk
a year ago
Saw a post on twitter earlier I really related to, and ive brought it up long ago but idk I still feel immense guilt over it. I was younger, stupid, and not very considerate, and drove people away with clinginess or just a complete lack of understanding boundaries and just the whole idea of letting things go. These people I still respect, but it was my fault i drove them away. I did apologize to one of them, they never responded...so I dunno.
Things have been really hard lately and Ive been in my own head and just overall in a pretty low energy, depressed state. I can barely get any art done, can barely get any games done. Im so worried about my dad, i dunno how its going to be here on out. Maybe it'll get better, but I dunno, I just feel like im at a liminal period and im reflecting on all my mistakes. Even before this i havent had energy to properly interact here and elsewhere. Im a failure in regards to the social aspect.
Yeah had a bad freakout a month ago too idk im sorry i keep making myself look unstable and just bad. I wish I were better for myself and everyone who takes the time to look at my art and comment. I just have to admit to myself...I cant be an artist yet. I do not have it, Im not that guy yet, no skill, no networking ability, no consistent schedule or discipline to always keep doing more, unable to really match my aspirations even a little bit. I have to take that L and accept I just will be a nobody until I actually toil for my goal.
Ill post a failed project tomorrow and a couple commissions i got but just didnt post. Ill even post lineart of my failed pic if anyone wants to color it, cuz man, I feel bad being unable to actually finish it, the drawing was a stellar start but i just dont have it in me to actually make it look good with proper shading.
Things have been really hard lately and Ive been in my own head and just overall in a pretty low energy, depressed state. I can barely get any art done, can barely get any games done. Im so worried about my dad, i dunno how its going to be here on out. Maybe it'll get better, but I dunno, I just feel like im at a liminal period and im reflecting on all my mistakes. Even before this i havent had energy to properly interact here and elsewhere. Im a failure in regards to the social aspect.
Yeah had a bad freakout a month ago too idk im sorry i keep making myself look unstable and just bad. I wish I were better for myself and everyone who takes the time to look at my art and comment. I just have to admit to myself...I cant be an artist yet. I do not have it, Im not that guy yet, no skill, no networking ability, no consistent schedule or discipline to always keep doing more, unable to really match my aspirations even a little bit. I have to take that L and accept I just will be a nobody until I actually toil for my goal.
Ill post a failed project tomorrow and a couple commissions i got but just didnt post. Ill even post lineart of my failed pic if anyone wants to color it, cuz man, I feel bad being unable to actually finish it, the drawing was a stellar start but i just dont have it in me to actually make it look good with proper shading.
Who knows? Maybe people will reply one day, or they will know how you feel, and that you changed.
One thing you gotta understand, is that art is not a race, neither is life. These things take time, and it's frustrating. But shouldn't be taking art as a professional thing at first, but mostly as something you do as a hobby, something to do while being chill. If today nothing can be done, then oh well, tomorrow is another day. If nothing you want can come in the paper, try something different.
A different technique, or traditional draws. See videos about it
One youtube channel that helped me with some stuff is Marc Brunet here:
https://www.youtube.com/@YTartschool
But yeah, the journey of the artist is a rocky one. It takes time to have a good stable foot at it. And even when you manage to get used to drawing and drawing... you will still face a new block from time to time. I can say that from myself, which I always face block moments after another one. But ehh, it comes with the hobby. Gotta keep trying and not give up.
I know, its just frustrating i still havent really hit my stride with it, this isnt to say I expect to get gud at it, but just actually have my brain in " I enjoy art" more consistently, rather than off on as its been! Ive seen some of marcs stuff, he definitely does have good idea on things and his videos are short enough i dont get lost lol. Though i get a bit sad when hes like "yo check out these new brushes" for programs I dont use lol. Maybe i should go back to sai or krita.
Thanks for checking in with me again man, i appreciate it, maybe once i get a bit more time ill be around more often and maaaybe do that blue sky thingie everyones doin. Seems its got a strong circle of artist users now at least! Hope you been well too
As for other places, is always good to have more and more places to show your stuff. But also gotta take your time with stuff too, or yeah it gets overwhelming, but it can be done and have a better tomorrow 💖