I disappeared (again) due to health issues. I'm still changing medication, starting from the scratch each time I get new prescriptions. For 3 months I had a rather harsh episode including hallucinations (which I haven't encountered for 4 years before this october). I decided to work on my personal artwork for a while and couldn't even warn about this, just didn't take new commissions.
With all this happening I decided to change my personal life completely, as far as I can't work in the field I get education in, I took the hardest decision in my life to abandon uni. It might be a bit stupid to quit education at the last year left, but I simply don't see purpose for the diploma I will never use, while all the studies make my symptoms worse. For all my life I valued education most of all: always succeeded academically, devoted myself to science, got a free place at uni in the capital of my country, had a passion to the hard profession I understood well. I'm very thankful to my uni years for socialization, new skills and knowledge, all the youth experiences, but as it was before and happens now, my disorder takes away everything good. Yet I'm glad I could fight to this point, taking the best of my student life.
Now I have good plans, I don't give up: I pan to find the best (or, at least, decent) scheme of medication, and then I plan on developing my art skills and move in art destination. Also I'm glad I could find common ground with my family and even first goals: to rebuild my house, to learn more about gardening and so on - something stable, grounding my wild condition. Also I want to finally focus on my own setting of characters, I still like them and not bored, which means a lot after all these years. I don't know how everything will result (I still can't predict or plan my future and can't promise anything good), but I'll be trying!