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ER visit- still working!
10 months ago
Welp, I've been avoiding to write this buuuuuuut, it happened, I was rushed to the ER this friday, why? cuz Im stoopid and I keep telling myself that what happened is not a big deal, even thoug is not the first time it happened, remember that I said before that I would share what happened a few years back that put me on a very bad place but then I started making up excuses not to say anything? I guess I didn't feel ready to talk about it in public, not because of shame or embarrassment, but because I simply didn't want to bother people with my personal problems, but I feel so bad right now and I really appreciate the patience you guys have with me all this time, so here we go with a super resumed version:
My visit to the ER was due to internal bleeding that started shortly before October, the first time this happened was at the beginning of the pandemic, I was bleeding heavily for about 3 months, and did my best to keep it to myself (remember I told you I'm stoopid, well I was and still am haha) because this time I only went to the ER because I was forced to, thinking again that it was no big deal, until I saw the expression on the doctors' faces and their reaction when they saw the bleeding.
-Doesn't it hurt?- the doctor asked me
-I don't know- I answered, I really couldn't tell, until they gave me painkillers, in fact it hurt, a lot and was unable to stand up
Today is my last day medicated, already went to my doctor and they did an ultrasound on me, nothing out of order since I bleed it out all, or mostly all of it
I was super happy it wasn't an ovary again, but I still need to get a biopsy to rule out endometrial hyperplasia.
Truth to be told, I feel like shit, I want to cry but I feel like I can't, is like when they asked me if i was in pain, I don't know how I feel, how I can even be depressed about this?
I love drawing, I love writing stories and comics, I love interpreting your ideas and taking a little peek into your worlds, but I've been having a lot of trouble drawing, maybe it's just burnout, right? I try to play a game and I'll stare at the screen for hours, and again, how can I be depressed about this? But it's not a small thing like I like to believe, it was an emergency, but I'm stoopid and I try not to make a big fuss about it.
I really want to apologize to you all, you've all been so kind and sweet to me, I feel really bad for being so slow, I keep saying that I would post more stuff, personal and commissioned stuff, and that I would be more active, I really want to, but sometimes I feel so heavy, maybe with a little bit of help? I want to livestream so badly, but I need to figure out how to do it first hehe
I'm still working btw! some of you asked about commish opening, but as I said, I need a lil push
https://bsky.app/profile/jazzumi.bsky.social
that's my bsky, I don't use twitter anymore, (someone requested an alt version from an old commish, i'll only use it for that request) you're all free to tag me on any of my work, or if you have any funny ideas for me to doodle on livestream or suggest which platform is the best, or if you just want to go an give me a bonk I'll apreciate it!
and srlly, thank you guys, u save my ass more than once
My visit to the ER was due to internal bleeding that started shortly before October, the first time this happened was at the beginning of the pandemic, I was bleeding heavily for about 3 months, and did my best to keep it to myself (remember I told you I'm stoopid, well I was and still am haha) because this time I only went to the ER because I was forced to, thinking again that it was no big deal, until I saw the expression on the doctors' faces and their reaction when they saw the bleeding.
-Doesn't it hurt?- the doctor asked me
-I don't know- I answered, I really couldn't tell, until they gave me painkillers, in fact it hurt, a lot and was unable to stand up
Today is my last day medicated, already went to my doctor and they did an ultrasound on me, nothing out of order since I bleed it out all, or mostly all of it
I was super happy it wasn't an ovary again, but I still need to get a biopsy to rule out endometrial hyperplasia.
Truth to be told, I feel like shit, I want to cry but I feel like I can't, is like when they asked me if i was in pain, I don't know how I feel, how I can even be depressed about this?
I love drawing, I love writing stories and comics, I love interpreting your ideas and taking a little peek into your worlds, but I've been having a lot of trouble drawing, maybe it's just burnout, right? I try to play a game and I'll stare at the screen for hours, and again, how can I be depressed about this? But it's not a small thing like I like to believe, it was an emergency, but I'm stoopid and I try not to make a big fuss about it.
I really want to apologize to you all, you've all been so kind and sweet to me, I feel really bad for being so slow, I keep saying that I would post more stuff, personal and commissioned stuff, and that I would be more active, I really want to, but sometimes I feel so heavy, maybe with a little bit of help? I want to livestream so badly, but I need to figure out how to do it first hehe
I'm still working btw! some of you asked about commish opening, but as I said, I need a lil push
https://bsky.app/profile/jazzumi.bsky.social
that's my bsky, I don't use twitter anymore, (someone requested an alt version from an old commish, i'll only use it for that request) you're all free to tag me on any of my work, or if you have any funny ideas for me to doodle on livestream or suggest which platform is the best, or if you just want to go an give me a bonk I'll apreciate it!
and srlly, thank you guys, u save my ass more than once
*fixed, I clicked align right accidentally hahaha
Chu aren't an art machine to just pump out sketches. And no one can do the same thing over and over forever and not feel tired or worn down!
Care more about having a healthy Ko than I ever will some sketches! O:<
But I'll do my best to get better x3 <3
Ahhh! I really hope I can go to anthrocon or MFF some day! we can hang out and I'll doodle something for you :3
:0 oh yes please! I think I already had an account, need to see if I can recover the password
I’ve always loved seeing your art and how much passion you put into it, so please make sure to go at your own pace too. Burnout can be extremely difficult to deal with when it comes to creativity and art. Take as long as you need to draw, and remember taking breaks is a part of the creative process as well.
I wish you all the best! Please let me know if there are ways I can help out!