November has been a turbulent month for me, as you likely know if you've read my last journal entry. The existential dread hanging over my life like a cloud has dulled somewhat since, and though it has not and probably will not go away completely, I have been able to push ahead regardless. Even outside of that situation in particular, my life has had two separate anxiety inducing problems in my life regarding issues with medical bills and health insurance this past month. Thankfully, the one that was more simply frustrating seems to have been dealt with, but the one that might land me with almost $1,000 in medical bills is still pending. No, again, this is not me asking for any financial aid or charity; I can pay that much and still be fine. I'm only mentioning it to better explain where my current headspace is. Now, the month wasn't all bad thankfully; we finally got some good family holiday stuff with Thanksgiving, and I still have my grandma visiting now too. (EDIT: It ended up being more like $850 instead of around $1,000, but I still had to pay for it myself without insurance helping me because of some technicality crap.)

So despite how the month started off, I managed to pull through and actually finish and upload the story I had been working on, "The Challenge, part two". As of the time of this writing, it has I think a little below average in views, and certainly below average in favorites and comments for my stories. It's a bit disappointing given how much I had planned that storyline, but it's alright; I can't expect people to like something if they simply don't, and I certainly can't try to force them to.

Now, a more important topic for this journal entry is that I think things will be a bit different for me going forward. Rather, the practical side of the change has already been happening, with my writing output for this website slowing down over the course of months now. The thing happening now is that I'm trying to shift my perspective and outlook on both the change itself and my hobby of writing here in general. I want to be, even more than I already have been, rather casual and un-worried about it. I want it to feel less like an obligation in any way, and more like another hobby for me to pick away at when I feel like it. So I'm going to stop trying to set up goals for myself to meet each month; getting an upload done will be something that's nice when it happens, but not bother me if it doesn't happen. I do not want to abandon this hobby entirely, (unless the coming administration does actually try to make creating porn illegal,) however it is for numerous reasons becoming less of a priority for me. No, my stories getting less views and favorites doesn't have anything to do with; well, not consciously, at least. I can't entirely control if it's having any subconscious effect on me. Anyway, the biggest thing is my other hobbies taking more of my time as of late.

... Oh also, as mentioned my grandma is still visiting, and of course it's December, so I've got more holiday stuff to get ready for and such. I'm not sure how much time that will eat up directly this month, but I do expect it to be a drain on my mental energy as I have to do planning and shopping and whatnot. So quite honestly, I kind of think I won't be getting a story uploaded this month. Not that I won't try to work on it here and there, but I can't really make it a priority. As of the time of this writing the outline and planning for it are both done, but I have yet to write even a single word of the draft, and I can't be sure when I will have time to start it, either.

Alright, while that felt important to get out there, I should probably wrap up my rambling for this month's journal entry here. If you read through the whole thing, thanks for taking some time out of your day, and I hope you have a great December and whichever holiday(s) you personally choose to celebrate. If you didn't read it, that's okay, I wish you the same regardless. I hope you all have a good end of the year. =)