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life update/rant ^^
a year ago
General
╭─────────────╮
ʜᴇʏᴀ sᴡᴇᴇᴛ ʙᴏɪs
╰─────────────╯ Hey yall!
CW: mental health, anxiety, self medication
TLDR; money good, new mental health treatment plan started last week and i’m struggling a bit and will be slower than usual this month. Will be opening commissions around the end/beginning of next month. I’m so excited for the future <3
Financially: I’m happy to say that we’re in a good place financially!! The last few months have really kicked our ass with the car dying, getting rid of a lot of our stuff due to bed bugs, losing insurance for 5 months while my partner started a new job he loves, and most recently our building stopped charging us for parking over a year ago so now we owe $900. We came up with a payment plan so we don't need to pay all at once but our rent has gone up $100 for the next 9 months. Whoo.
Mentally: this is where most of the strain is for me right now haha. Nov 25th I had an appointment with a wonderful psychiatrist at a public mental health centre in Toronto that I've been waiting for for over a year. As some of you know I’ve dealt with agoraphobia for the last 5ish years and anxiety for most of my life, was diagnosed with ADHD and other LDs as a kid and BPD 3 years ago. I'm on 3 daily meds, 2 of which haven’t been working.
The new plan includes weaning off my main ssri to replace it with another, and stopping my 2ed medication completely once feeling better on the new one. I’m a daily stoner and have been advised to quit as CBD/THC can mess with the metabolization of antidepressants. I've quit cold turkey since the day of the appointment and I'm really struggling hahahahahahah. I mostly used it to self medicate anxiety and ADHD. I love weed so this has been a big adjustment.
I’m also in the process of getting ADHD meds, and being tested for ASD which I think is the main source of my struggles. Since changing everything up my distress tolerance has been incredibly low, my moods have been quite up and down and I've been sleeping a lot.
I’ve also started pushing myself a bit in terms of going outside alone and exercising. As much as I'm not feeling great in my head right now I know it’s temporary. I am so excited for this new treatment plan. I've been feeling incredibly stagnant for the last few years and I'm just so ready for the change.
I also have a TON of support from my incredible partner, he’s been an absolute superstar with helping me navigate this change. My friends have also been incredible with their patience and understanding. I also have a therapist I see regularly and my relationship with my parents has improved a lot the last 2 years. I'm so thankful for my support system.
Gender Affirming Care: During this same appointment I've also started the process of getting a consultation for top surgery!!!! I’ve wanted this since I was a teenager but it wasn’t an option at the time. I spent a lot of my younger years rejecting this part of myself as I wasn't in a supportive situation. But after a long and messy few years becoming un-enmeshed from my family I’m starting to get to know myself again, and I'm choosing joy, I'm choosing to love myself and I'm choosing to advocate for myself.
Becoming a part of the furry community has been truly life changing. I can’t believe how many amazing people I've gotten to know here and the amount of support I’ve felt. Just thinking back to myself 10 years ago - the amount of fear and insecurity was crippling. Though I've been struggling with agoraphobia, I’ve been able to use these years to unmask and know myself. I can’t believe I get to spend my days expressing myself and my sexuality through art and being able to do the same for so many of you is an absolute dream come true.
So yeah I think that's it! If you read this far, thank you so much. I fear this was a bit TMI but i'm learning to be a little more vulnerable haha.
Thank you so much again for your support and love and patience, it means the world to me! <3
CW: mental health, anxiety, self medication
TLDR; money good, new mental health treatment plan started last week and i’m struggling a bit and will be slower than usual this month. Will be opening commissions around the end/beginning of next month. I’m so excited for the future <3
Financially: I’m happy to say that we’re in a good place financially!! The last few months have really kicked our ass with the car dying, getting rid of a lot of our stuff due to bed bugs, losing insurance for 5 months while my partner started a new job he loves, and most recently our building stopped charging us for parking over a year ago so now we owe $900. We came up with a payment plan so we don't need to pay all at once but our rent has gone up $100 for the next 9 months. Whoo.
Mentally: this is where most of the strain is for me right now haha. Nov 25th I had an appointment with a wonderful psychiatrist at a public mental health centre in Toronto that I've been waiting for for over a year. As some of you know I’ve dealt with agoraphobia for the last 5ish years and anxiety for most of my life, was diagnosed with ADHD and other LDs as a kid and BPD 3 years ago. I'm on 3 daily meds, 2 of which haven’t been working.
The new plan includes weaning off my main ssri to replace it with another, and stopping my 2ed medication completely once feeling better on the new one. I’m a daily stoner and have been advised to quit as CBD/THC can mess with the metabolization of antidepressants. I've quit cold turkey since the day of the appointment and I'm really struggling hahahahahahah. I mostly used it to self medicate anxiety and ADHD. I love weed so this has been a big adjustment.
I’m also in the process of getting ADHD meds, and being tested for ASD which I think is the main source of my struggles. Since changing everything up my distress tolerance has been incredibly low, my moods have been quite up and down and I've been sleeping a lot.
I’ve also started pushing myself a bit in terms of going outside alone and exercising. As much as I'm not feeling great in my head right now I know it’s temporary. I am so excited for this new treatment plan. I've been feeling incredibly stagnant for the last few years and I'm just so ready for the change.
I also have a TON of support from my incredible partner, he’s been an absolute superstar with helping me navigate this change. My friends have also been incredible with their patience and understanding. I also have a therapist I see regularly and my relationship with my parents has improved a lot the last 2 years. I'm so thankful for my support system.
Gender Affirming Care: During this same appointment I've also started the process of getting a consultation for top surgery!!!! I’ve wanted this since I was a teenager but it wasn’t an option at the time. I spent a lot of my younger years rejecting this part of myself as I wasn't in a supportive situation. But after a long and messy few years becoming un-enmeshed from my family I’m starting to get to know myself again, and I'm choosing joy, I'm choosing to love myself and I'm choosing to advocate for myself.
Becoming a part of the furry community has been truly life changing. I can’t believe how many amazing people I've gotten to know here and the amount of support I’ve felt. Just thinking back to myself 10 years ago - the amount of fear and insecurity was crippling. Though I've been struggling with agoraphobia, I’ve been able to use these years to unmask and know myself. I can’t believe I get to spend my days expressing myself and my sexuality through art and being able to do the same for so many of you is an absolute dream come true.
So yeah I think that's it! If you read this far, thank you so much. I fear this was a bit TMI but i'm learning to be a little more vulnerable haha.
Thank you so much again for your support and love and patience, it means the world to me! <3
I hope the new treatment works wonders for you, I know from other friends how difficult it can be, and especially if you also have to quit a habit like weed, but I know you have the strength to pull through and come on top!
If you ever need any help with anything, please let us know. There's so many people around here for you. Love you lots, man uwu