Another day another drama.

Big story short someone liked me, we'll call him N. He wanted me but knew my marriage is the only thing stopping him. It wasn't until, someone named H came in.

See H was in a relationship with someone else. However he wanted N. He would get jealous and depressed when he sees N showing me affection. This made me feel very awkward about H.

Two weeks later after some little drama with that, N and H hitched up turning H's relationship into a poly.

N still wanted me, but I didn't feel the same because he was partnered to two others now. Poly relationships tend to be very tough and require tons of attention. I feel like there isn't any room for N and I as close friends with favors anymore. I want him to focus that energy into H and the other.

N was still very possessive about me, he wanted to be my master. I should have said no, but I said it's fine. I allowed it. N also gets super jealous when other furs show me affection. He would step in between the others and I "This is my pet Nexus. He is mine."

This continued on for a long time. First it was cute, but then it got embarrassing. This especially intensified when N's mother has cancer and needed treatment. I was there for him when he was sad and needed support.

Then things just changed. It got political first. It was a argument because someone was blaming groups of people for no reason. I tried explaining the real reason to his problem. People got upset and we backed off.

Then I got tired of N being jealous of others showing me affection. I tried to explain to him, set some boundaries. Tell him I still love him and care about him and there isn't any need to become jealous. N grew cold quick. He doesn't say Hi in the morning anymore. Chats are short and brief.

Lastly my friend, we'll call K, was having a real hard time. His mate was gone without a word for a week. His mate is my friend too, and I was there to comfort him when he needed someone the most. He calm down. I forgot how the conversation started but it boiled down to me saying the age of consent should be 18 all over the world.

N came into this conversation and some reason it reminded him of the political fight we had awhile ago. N and I argued and he DEMANDED I apologize to the people I've offended. I said "I know, I said nothing offensive, all I did was say facts." I stood my ground where I didn't need to apologize for stating facts.

We had a few spats on the following days, but nothing came of it. We made up thanks to another friend named M, and I was hoping things would go back to normal. I was planning to have a movie night with N and be there for him.

A week later today, things blew up out of proportion.

I showed N a meme, of a man taking LSD saying "If God won't answer your prayers, go to God's door." Now N took it as a su1c1de joke and found it offensive. I tried to explain to him it wasn't and gave him the run down what LSD was with a small history lesson from the 1950s and 1960s and the counterculture war it was involved in. I would never joke about su1c1de as it isn't funny to joke about. N wouldn't hear any of it.

So I tried to go to H, ask him to help N understand the real joke behind the meme was. H was smart, and I backed he is knowledgeable on LSD and can help N understand. Nope, H got bent out of shape. He told me the joke was offensive. I'm like O.O "Okay everyone else I shown it too seems to laugh at it."

Here where it gets interesting. I tried to tell H, it's just a joke. He still gets bent out of shape about it. Then he escalates this saying I'm dismissive of others feelings. I am asking how.

Big story when I asked him "Oh you just are! You just are." in a nutshell without giving exact details.

Then H retort with a question to mine "Do you remember when I removed you off my friend's list?

Me: "What this has to do with anything? I'll indulge you. A few days ago."

H: "No it was back in October"

Me: "No that is not true because two weeks ago (Start of December) I tried coming to you. I saw your name on my friend's list. I wanted to hang out with you and N, because I was tired mentally picking infected fish eggs from a leaf."

(Context: I breed angelfish. The unfertilized eggs can die and cause a fungal outbreak that kills the other healthy eggs. Using a non needle syringe, it takes mental focus to pick off infected eggs and not crush the healthy ones.)

So I caught him in a lie.

H then tries blaming me for all his problems of me not caring for him. He says I am dismissive of him and others feelings.

I tried to be open and say "I am not good picking up social ques. I am sorry you tried but you have to be direct with me."

He lies again saying he has.

And I am like "NO. If you did I would have remembered. We never once we sat down to have such a discussion on this. Also if I am hurting you and others you claim, why not keep bringing it up to me? We haven't talk for like two-three weeks." (Context: H stopped talking to me as a friend and gaming with me after I set boundaries with N. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.)

H keeps on claiming I've changed. And I keep telling him "I've never changed." I asked him to show me proof, examples. Witnesses. He could provide nothing but his word.

I tried to be open with him. Relate to him. Express with him. I did my best to ask him repeatedly tell me how he is feeling. "Go back and read" he keeps telling me. Now I feel like he is trying to play basketball with my head. The more open I'm trying to be open, the more he gaslights me.

"N almost k1lled himself." "You don't remember? You are a awful person for not remembering." "N right now was picking crying because he found out you do not remember this he right now ran off to his mother and crying."

I replied "I wouldn't have dismissed him like that. I love him."

H replies with: "You did you basically told him that because he let the other person get in his head it was his fault"

I then asked myself: "What other person? Who? You keep bringing up said people, but never a name anything of value and proof!"

I finally had it. My patience wore thin, and I was tired of being gas lit and lied to in my face. H is presenting himself as the victim of my actions, trying to manipulate my emotions by invoking N’s distress. This tactic aims to make me feel responsible for others’ feelings in an effort to guilt me into doing something or feeling a certain way.

And shifting the blame H, seems to be deflecting from his own role in the conflict and instead shifting responsibility back onto me.

I couldn't believe it anymore H would do this to me.

So I asked him to leave me alone.


Me: Please.... leave me alone.
Me: Just until I can feel strong having to converse with you once more. You shifting everything onto me, when I spilt my heart how I think and you took advantage of that.

I was reaching a very personal and emotional tipping point. Expressing that I need space is a healthy response when emotionally overwhelmed or taken advantage of my vulnerability.

No H kept harassing me sending me messages and voice messages one after another after another and another. I asked him to please stop and he wouldn't. He kept harassing me over and over. But I stick to my boundaries like glue and he hated that. He deleted our logs and said I was a toxic person (for not reading his messages and listening to his voice messages)


And that is that. H open my eyes that he is a terrible person for doing this to me.

Please tell me your honest thoughts about all this.