Don't Cry because it's over
Smile because it happened
- Dr. Seuss

So, I've been thinking, hard, and to be honest, Im stuck.

As you read from my previous journal, I have been recently struggling with the reality check of realising that my entire online persona and interests were based on a trauma response, and because of that, I have been thinking.

I have been thinking of Retiring as an Artist and as a member of the furry fandom.

To be blunt, I have been slowly losing interest in art in pursuit of other hobbies, what started off as a simple side thing when I was working at Mcdonalds now led to something I would spend most of my day doing, working into rediculous hours of the night to finish pieces in a timely and orderly fashion. This has developed into a powder keg that was waiting to detonate.

All it took was that one spark.

That therapy session.... to utterly destroy my views as an artist and furry. To make me feel disgusted at something I was so comfortable around.


Im still in the thinking and decision stage as this is a major part of my personality Im removing in order to better myself mentally. I will still finish all remaining commissions, even though the motivation has completely faded away, for the sake of closure and formality. However I am not sure where my life will truly go after I finish that final piece, whether to stay in the fandom because my personality was molded around being a furry, or to put it all behind me, for the sake of closure and my mental health.

All I know is I have wronged some people in the past, and have done some deplorable things that have made me question my worth here in the fandom, I do take responsibilities for my actions back then and still feel remorse for things that happened years ago. and I do feel like it would be best to hang up my coat and hat, and exit stage left.


If I do end up leaving, I will keep my pages online, to be preserved as a time capsule, as it would not be appropriate to build up all these pieces of artwork, only to destroy it later on. however all activity in the fandom from me, would promptly cease. For I feel like this to be my Final Duet.

Alexander