Well I am over a week late even though I've been meaning to write this journal since the 31st. It's been (over) a year and that means its a good time to reflect and that's the hard part. The year has mostly treated me awfully.

I'll start with the stats and numbers since that will be the easy part to write about. The first story uploaded this year was "Lord Amir's New Shirt" on March 8th. The last uploaded story was "A Paw-Headed Potion" which was on November 13th. There was a total of twelve uploaded stories meaning a story was uploaded every 30.5 days. Unless my math was wrong all uploaded stories totalled 44100 words and that many words for a story would cost $308.70 USD. While obviously the numbers don't tell everything and this doesn't include stories that were private or only on Discord, but this is sht, because I am a shit writer. A quick glance at what I was able to produce last year makes this clear.

I don't intend to just dump a bunch of private stuff like that will magically make things better (or provide anything interesting for you to read) but the failures with my writing more or less reflects countless issues with my life. Unfortunately I don't really see it or feels like it is getting better. I am facing increasing amount of pressure on myself and it feels like too much. At the same time I don't think my writing is getting better and is only getting worse. the time it takes for me to write is abysmal as well as the quality. Honestly if I looked at a piece from last year and compared it to a recent work it would probably be of similar quality. While I was too stupid to realize it before I will soon enough probably completely lack both the time and energy to keep writing, this point in time is going to be like a train slamming directly into a brick wall. To continue I think my condition both health-wise and cognitively will only continue to deteriorate. I am convinced that I am stupider than I was in say 2021 or early 2022 due to numerous issues with me. So now what? Well, I guess I just keep going, I don't know, I've been very close before to just ending it all and giving everyone a refund but for better or worse I haven't yet. I guess thank you to those who give me grace and patience. I don't know why, nor do I think I deserve it.

Sorry if this shit is negative, that's just how I feel about life right now.

I guess in another direction is that I plan to keep uploading art I commission/receive. Since FA has added a tag block feature I will now be uploading (or reuploading) some art related to ABDL and diapers. I will be using the tag ABDL and diaper in all of these reuploaded pieces that if you have those blocked then you should be good.

But yeah lets see what this year has in store