Hey all. It’s bad. It’s read damn bad tonight. The depression is only getting worse by the day. And now the little negative voices in my brain have convinced me all my old friends hate me and don’t want anything to do with me. And everyday I think those voices are getting more and more correct. I still think about committing suicide, generally dying, or getting injured in such an extreme way that it’s debilitating. All because I think ahead in those scenarios, and think about how others would react, just to comfort myself and think people still care about me. I don’t know what true or what’s a lie anymore. I think everyone hates me, I’m just a roach that you can’t get rid of to everyone. I wouldn’t want to be friends with me either. I hate the person I see in the mirror. I hate my reflection, my terrible face and body. I hate that person, I hate them so much. I’m so ashamed by all my past actions. I was such a goddamn moron piece of shit when I was a late teen and joined this community. I can’t forgive myself for everything I did. It eats me up more and more everyday. Even now I’m so goddamn stupid. I make so many mistakes and I can’t forgive myself for them. It’s hard getting up in the morning and going to sleep at night. I’m going to bed now. I forgive you.