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Health update - nearly died / new diagnosis
9 months ago
*Scratches snoot, whipping out a pencil*
Hey, everyone.
As the journal says; my physical, or well in this case, mental health are on an absolute decline. I've been at the hospital, and just got back home a few days ago. I was rushed to the Emergency Room because I was having a seizure in my sleep. At first my room mate thought it was night terrors until I started screaming and sounding like I was choking, but that wasn't necessarily the case. Everyone tried waking me up, smacking me, pouring water on me, but absolutely nothing was budging. Eventually grandmom called 911 on me, and I was rushed outside into the ambulance. I woke up in the ambulance questioning why I was even in there with nothing but tubes and medical workers surrounding me trying to wake me up. Apparently my airways had been clogged, and I nearly choked and died from my sleep seizure.
I finally arrived at the hospital, and after many hours, I was finally called in to be tested on. Several urine tests, blood tests, CAT scans and MRIs later, they finally found out what was going on with me. After research, they concluded my brain was FILLED with "Cavernous Lesions / Malformations". Not one lesion, not ten lesions, it was an uncountable amount; even he sounded surprised. Normally it isn't a worry for patients with like one or two lesions, but the fact that these are covering my entire brain, my Neurologist warned it's a serious health risk for me. Cavernous Lesions are malformed blood vessels that latch onto or inside of the brain, and they are capable of bleeding (which caused my seizure, and can cause other symptoms such as stroke, headache, coma, and in some cases; Death). I have never experienced symptoms beforehand because with malformations, they usually don't develop symptoms until you reach adulthood (like me for example, I might have had around 3 - 4 sleep seizures in total ever since I turned 18.) My Neurologist also stated that with the amount I have, it's more than likely a chance I inherited them from a family member, either recessively, or passed down from dad (since mom never had this problem).
For now, I'll be taking seizure-preventative medication for it since that's been the only symptom I've seen, but for now, there isn't too much I can do with the malformations / lesions. My Neurologist said that death isn't necessarily unlikely and it can happen with how many I have, but he told me the ultimate cure for these lesions is for me to manage my stress and my blood pressure, as the two can cause the lesions to burst and bleed. if I do get stressed again symptoms can be much worse such as the symptoms I've listed already.
I didn't know I was having seizures, or well, I knew I was having them, I just didn't know that's what it felt like. Nor did I want to get it checked out since I'm still taking care of my grandmom with stage 4 lung cancer, and my uncle dealing with sepsis (that almost killed him).
I've been taking the prescribed medication and I'm already off to a horrible start. I'm already feeling the symptoms my Neurologist warned me of, which consist of extreme mood swings (I snapped at several friends because of it), extreme fatigue, memory loss, and general confusion on what's going on, what will happen to me, etc. He said it will take time to adjust to the effects of the drugs, but I'm just incredibly worried about myself, my health in general, and what this means for me and my future since my Neurologist said I may never be able to drive or do any hard physical labor for the next 6 months - 1 year.
I just don't really like this change, or the fact that this is a new excuse for me to not finish stuff. I still need to finish my GED, I still need to start working a job, I need to learn how to drive, and now with this new diagnosis, I'm essentially hindered from accomplishing those things I should have already accomplished. I want to take it easy for now, but I feel like an absolute burden with how long I'm taking to learn this stuff compared to my friends for example. People tell me to not worry but now.. Now I just have an even bigger reason to worry, because what happens if I do inevitably die, albeit soon? What legacy will I have??
As the journal says; my physical, or well in this case, mental health are on an absolute decline. I've been at the hospital, and just got back home a few days ago. I was rushed to the Emergency Room because I was having a seizure in my sleep. At first my room mate thought it was night terrors until I started screaming and sounding like I was choking, but that wasn't necessarily the case. Everyone tried waking me up, smacking me, pouring water on me, but absolutely nothing was budging. Eventually grandmom called 911 on me, and I was rushed outside into the ambulance. I woke up in the ambulance questioning why I was even in there with nothing but tubes and medical workers surrounding me trying to wake me up. Apparently my airways had been clogged, and I nearly choked and died from my sleep seizure.
I finally arrived at the hospital, and after many hours, I was finally called in to be tested on. Several urine tests, blood tests, CAT scans and MRIs later, they finally found out what was going on with me. After research, they concluded my brain was FILLED with "Cavernous Lesions / Malformations". Not one lesion, not ten lesions, it was an uncountable amount; even he sounded surprised. Normally it isn't a worry for patients with like one or two lesions, but the fact that these are covering my entire brain, my Neurologist warned it's a serious health risk for me. Cavernous Lesions are malformed blood vessels that latch onto or inside of the brain, and they are capable of bleeding (which caused my seizure, and can cause other symptoms such as stroke, headache, coma, and in some cases; Death). I have never experienced symptoms beforehand because with malformations, they usually don't develop symptoms until you reach adulthood (like me for example, I might have had around 3 - 4 sleep seizures in total ever since I turned 18.) My Neurologist also stated that with the amount I have, it's more than likely a chance I inherited them from a family member, either recessively, or passed down from dad (since mom never had this problem).
For now, I'll be taking seizure-preventative medication for it since that's been the only symptom I've seen, but for now, there isn't too much I can do with the malformations / lesions. My Neurologist said that death isn't necessarily unlikely and it can happen with how many I have, but he told me the ultimate cure for these lesions is for me to manage my stress and my blood pressure, as the two can cause the lesions to burst and bleed. if I do get stressed again symptoms can be much worse such as the symptoms I've listed already.
I didn't know I was having seizures, or well, I knew I was having them, I just didn't know that's what it felt like. Nor did I want to get it checked out since I'm still taking care of my grandmom with stage 4 lung cancer, and my uncle dealing with sepsis (that almost killed him).
I've been taking the prescribed medication and I'm already off to a horrible start. I'm already feeling the symptoms my Neurologist warned me of, which consist of extreme mood swings (I snapped at several friends because of it), extreme fatigue, memory loss, and general confusion on what's going on, what will happen to me, etc. He said it will take time to adjust to the effects of the drugs, but I'm just incredibly worried about myself, my health in general, and what this means for me and my future since my Neurologist said I may never be able to drive or do any hard physical labor for the next 6 months - 1 year.
I just don't really like this change, or the fact that this is a new excuse for me to not finish stuff. I still need to finish my GED, I still need to start working a job, I need to learn how to drive, and now with this new diagnosis, I'm essentially hindered from accomplishing those things I should have already accomplished. I want to take it easy for now, but I feel like an absolute burden with how long I'm taking to learn this stuff compared to my friends for example. People tell me to not worry but now.. Now I just have an even bigger reason to worry, because what happens if I do inevitably die, albeit soon? What legacy will I have??
Your words are appreciated, thank you <3
I have been drawing actually, albeit sketching (and I do plan to share it on FA at some time once I adjust it to my liking)
It's okay that you have to take it slow though. Never feel like you have to rush through things, especially if it's at the expense of your health. Everybody's life paces differently and you WILL reach your goals.
At least I am here though, genuinely <3
Thank you <3