Kind of yeah

everybody seems to think i'm into smooth and round and calm but i actually prefer a lot of intricacy and bold detail and process. they get confused, i think, because they don't really bother engaging with me other than on a surface level despite that i leave the door wide open for anything. When you get that moment, that surface, i probably come off metaphorically smooth and round but definitely calm. but that's just like, utility and facade because i get overwhelmed easily. less "make the thing require less effort" easy and more "give the process and texts contexts i can become interested in and will want to put the effort in without it feeling like work" easy in terms of my needs in what some call improvements.
And jfc i could do with never having to put up with them complaining that i didn't want the thing that i literally just told them i didn't want over and over and over and over for several years at least. if anything, i am completely justified in how angry i am with them because they're causing all their own problems by ignoring when i talk to them directly and that's their fault, not mine. it'd be nice if being right brought me some satisfaction but in reality, all i want is for them to get the hint and bother to put in the effort to get it right. i mean, come on, i've made myself into an open book anyone can look at online or irl so no context is lost. they really have no excuse.

oh also just to make sure i said it outloud someplace, my fursona color isn't my favorite color. gray is gray because its gray. purple's my favorite, that's why her hair is purple. i like a good cement brutalist building in its natural material gray, but good lord i am going INSANE with all the gray plastic going up and i need it to stop and reverse course immediately, i feel like i'm gonna have a heart attack every time i have to deal with it because of how much its nothingness stresses me out.