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I Feel So Empty right now..
8 months ago
Hey everyone, I hope y'all are having a good day. I sure as hell am not, as you can tell this is going to be a bit of a venting entry, not out of anger but sorrow.
This morning my dad told me that his father, my grandfather just passed away. I won't be overly dramatic about how I reacted, it was simply went back to bed feeling a mix of shock, disbelief and then sadness.
I loved my grandfather dearly and this news hit me hard as I had not seen him in over half a decade, and it wasn't even my fault.
A little thing I should tell you all about myself. I am a first generation Venezuelan-American born from immigrant parents, so obviously I have or rather had a lot of relatives who lived in Venezuela so obiviously I used to go to Venezuela to visit them fairly often, until 2012 when the country's political situation rapidly deteriorated. Thankfully, most of my relatives got out when they could, unfortunately a few stayed behind most prominently my grandparents. As the years went by it became increasingly difficult to get back into the country, the last time I saw my grandparents was in 2019 when they came to visit me and my other relatives who lived Stateside, knowing it may be the last time most of us would be able to see them again in person, even then my naive self had hoped that wouldn't be the case. We kept in touch in the years after and we call them every other day, letting them know that we're doing fine. About a year ago my grandmother had a stroke, she survived but her neurological health deteriorated greatly as a result I was able to tell her I loved her which she responded thanking me before her condition got worse and is now under the care of my grandfather and a couple of my few relatives who remained in Venezuela.
However this event was a grim reminder of the passage of time and how old not only I was getting but the people around me, especially my grandparents. My grandmother on my mother's side passed away a couple of years ago and this news reopened old wounds on top of new ones. Even worse is that my ill grandmother will now be living the rest of her life without the one person who's ben at her side her whole life. Reminding me yet again how I will never see my grandparents again all because the ongoing shitshow in a country I once looked at as a second home.
To all of you reading this, I want you to never take your family for granted. Always make time for them, especially your grandparents.
Rest in Piece my Grandfather.
This morning my dad told me that his father, my grandfather just passed away. I won't be overly dramatic about how I reacted, it was simply went back to bed feeling a mix of shock, disbelief and then sadness.
I loved my grandfather dearly and this news hit me hard as I had not seen him in over half a decade, and it wasn't even my fault.
A little thing I should tell you all about myself. I am a first generation Venezuelan-American born from immigrant parents, so obviously I have or rather had a lot of relatives who lived in Venezuela so obiviously I used to go to Venezuela to visit them fairly often, until 2012 when the country's political situation rapidly deteriorated. Thankfully, most of my relatives got out when they could, unfortunately a few stayed behind most prominently my grandparents. As the years went by it became increasingly difficult to get back into the country, the last time I saw my grandparents was in 2019 when they came to visit me and my other relatives who lived Stateside, knowing it may be the last time most of us would be able to see them again in person, even then my naive self had hoped that wouldn't be the case. We kept in touch in the years after and we call them every other day, letting them know that we're doing fine. About a year ago my grandmother had a stroke, she survived but her neurological health deteriorated greatly as a result I was able to tell her I loved her which she responded thanking me before her condition got worse and is now under the care of my grandfather and a couple of my few relatives who remained in Venezuela.
However this event was a grim reminder of the passage of time and how old not only I was getting but the people around me, especially my grandparents. My grandmother on my mother's side passed away a couple of years ago and this news reopened old wounds on top of new ones. Even worse is that my ill grandmother will now be living the rest of her life without the one person who's ben at her side her whole life. Reminding me yet again how I will never see my grandparents again all because the ongoing shitshow in a country I once looked at as a second home.
To all of you reading this, I want you to never take your family for granted. Always make time for them, especially your grandparents.
Rest in Piece my Grandfather.
I won't lie to you, the pain of losing a family member will hurt. But it will get duller, more managable.