FA+
Shop
News
9 months ago
I had another psychiatric check, and we finally came to the right conclusion. I tend to share a lot about it because my artwork (and my whole life) depends on my condition. Maybe some people don't like that oversharing, but I really can't do it other way. You can imagine, I even write about it in a foreign language. That's what I have at this moment:
1) I've got three disorders. Bipolar, GAD and PTSD. I don't ask for pity of course, it just helps to understand me and my personal art more, if you want :D
2) I manage quite well. I have a low level depressive episode, though it is compensated by my followers. I've got almost 300 followers in Telegram and they really saved my mood.
3) GAD is medium. I've mostly got physical sympthoms of anxiety, I endure it passively, yet sometimes it comes in the way when I xan't draw with shaking hands.
4) PTSD - I had a flashback recently, a really disturbing one. My brain managed to dismiss it into a joke, but it's not the first time, and I've learned skills of coping long ago, so it's not a problem.
5) about personal art. Even though I've got commissions and really need to work a lot to earn some money, I still strictly follow the schedule. It's very important for managing impatience, workaholic behavior, bipolar impulsiveness. So I will to the personal work, it helps me a lot to cope, to put my feelings into it. I try and suceed the deadline of two months, I think it's optimal. Sometimes I get vety anxious and feel guilty for drawing personal stuff while people wait for their art pieces, but I'm very sorry I can't be productive without rest and self-expression... I'm very, very grateful for understanding that thing. I'm still trying to find balance. (God, how much I'm eager of balance.)
6) I've got recepts for 6 months. Many things will change then, I'll move back to home, start calm life. We're still looking for this tiny spark of balanced therapy, because treatment of depressive episode will increase anxiety, anxiety treatment can provoke depression, too much anxiety provokes manic sympthoms..... Many, many things are shit becausr of comorbid. But I'm quite proud that I manage. sometimes I calm down and I'm fascinated that I have the ABILITY to calm down to rest, to find new energy and continue living, working, noticing new things. Helping my family as much as I can, seeing them from new side. Cooking. Crocheting. Interior plans. Little things I see now.
(My keyboard got insane and didn't correct my grammatics or whatever it is, so I could word it very silly :D)
In conclusion I want to say one thing: I have progress. I feel all the emotions. I've got lingering signs of low self-esteem, I shake because of attention. But I'm glad. On my day off which is already glhere by my time zone I want to do a very important work for me. And then I'll start hard working for income. It feels like a new chapter. Scary, yet so tempting. And I'm not afraid of future now.
1) I've got three disorders. Bipolar, GAD and PTSD. I don't ask for pity of course, it just helps to understand me and my personal art more, if you want :D
2) I manage quite well. I have a low level depressive episode, though it is compensated by my followers. I've got almost 300 followers in Telegram and they really saved my mood.
3) GAD is medium. I've mostly got physical sympthoms of anxiety, I endure it passively, yet sometimes it comes in the way when I xan't draw with shaking hands.
4) PTSD - I had a flashback recently, a really disturbing one. My brain managed to dismiss it into a joke, but it's not the first time, and I've learned skills of coping long ago, so it's not a problem.
5) about personal art. Even though I've got commissions and really need to work a lot to earn some money, I still strictly follow the schedule. It's very important for managing impatience, workaholic behavior, bipolar impulsiveness. So I will to the personal work, it helps me a lot to cope, to put my feelings into it. I try and suceed the deadline of two months, I think it's optimal. Sometimes I get vety anxious and feel guilty for drawing personal stuff while people wait for their art pieces, but I'm very sorry I can't be productive without rest and self-expression... I'm very, very grateful for understanding that thing. I'm still trying to find balance. (God, how much I'm eager of balance.)
6) I've got recepts for 6 months. Many things will change then, I'll move back to home, start calm life. We're still looking for this tiny spark of balanced therapy, because treatment of depressive episode will increase anxiety, anxiety treatment can provoke depression, too much anxiety provokes manic sympthoms..... Many, many things are shit becausr of comorbid. But I'm quite proud that I manage. sometimes I calm down and I'm fascinated that I have the ABILITY to calm down to rest, to find new energy and continue living, working, noticing new things. Helping my family as much as I can, seeing them from new side. Cooking. Crocheting. Interior plans. Little things I see now.
(My keyboard got insane and didn't correct my grammatics or whatever it is, so I could word it very silly :D)
In conclusion I want to say one thing: I have progress. I feel all the emotions. I've got lingering signs of low self-esteem, I shake because of attention. But I'm glad. On my day off which is already glhere by my time zone I want to do a very important work for me. And then I'll start hard working for income. It feels like a new chapter. Scary, yet so tempting. And I'm not afraid of future now.
Keep it up and great job so far <33