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Important life changes
8 months ago
Hey guys, or anyone who reads this..
I hardly ever make journals but I feel this warrants it. And I feel I need to get this off my chest and get folks up to speed.
I broke up with my partner
insanesniper during new years.
I won't go into details on what happened, mainly because even I don't know WHY it had to happen either.
Short story is that Balor began distancing himself from me more and more for the past two years.
He always had a reason to why he wouldn't spend time or why we had to cancel events, meet ups or even just spending time together. I didn't suspect anything for a long time, shit happens in life.
The worst of it came when he cancelled attending Eurofurence28 with me and our friends in the last minute.
The reason he gave was that he suffered a serious traffic accident and was in the hospital. I still went to EF28 but I was worried sick through the whole con. He kept ignoring me even though I was worried sick about him and desperate to visit him in the hospital.
It kept going on. I gave him till New Years to talk to me, to patch up our dying relationship. He ignored it >_>
I would have been fine with just leaving there but there was another thing. My friends brought to my attention that he lied about being in that accident.
Everything else I could have forgiven but that... That hurt. That hurt me more then anything else in my entire life.
After 15 years of having my full faith in him.. shouldering all burden and risk for finding a way for us to be finally together after being in a long distance relationship for so long.. the fact that I was being lied to and manipulated in such a petty, cruel way... it broke me. I value honesty above all else and this is just something I could never forgive.
Not like it matters. He haven't responded to me since New Years. I understand now that I am dead to him, therefore he is dead to me.
I'm quite sure he left the fandom as well, I wasn't the only one of our furry friend he was ghosting.
On a brighter side, I think I have finally been able to put all that behind me.
Those 15 years contained some of the best memories of my life and now are tied to someone I can barely re-contextualize now.
It's going to leave a big nasty scar on me but I'm finally ready to move on.
I want to thank all of my precious friends that were there for me in these trying months. I know I haven't been pleasant to be around but I will try to make it up to all of you. You mean the world to me.
I don't know how I would have been able to continue without the support and love of this community.
Speaking of, I know I haven't been uploading much in a while. That is going to change. I have a backlog of art to share and new commissions are getting finished soon ^_^
And don't worry about me, I'm quite happy right now ^^ Met some amazing folks, including a very special dragon recently, and I'm planning visits throughout the year. Maybe NFC next year ^_^
I'm quite cheerful, honesty <3
And I don't know if this needs to be said as I think it should be obvious: Please don't harass Balor. I don't care anymore why he did what he did, and him being out of the furry community means he is out of my life for good. Don't drag up old wounds.
I'm going to leave up old art of him with me because, well, it's part of my history whether I like to think about it or not. It was mostly me who paid for them anyway and people enjoy them ^_^
I made a new telegram sticker pack with only my characters in it. It will be the one I'll continue updating so if anyone was using the megapack you can grab it from here: https://t.me/addstickers/FreeClaw
I hardly ever make journals but I feel this warrants it. And I feel I need to get this off my chest and get folks up to speed.
I broke up with my partner
insanesniper during new years.I won't go into details on what happened, mainly because even I don't know WHY it had to happen either.
Short story is that Balor began distancing himself from me more and more for the past two years.
He always had a reason to why he wouldn't spend time or why we had to cancel events, meet ups or even just spending time together. I didn't suspect anything for a long time, shit happens in life.
The worst of it came when he cancelled attending Eurofurence28 with me and our friends in the last minute.
The reason he gave was that he suffered a serious traffic accident and was in the hospital. I still went to EF28 but I was worried sick through the whole con. He kept ignoring me even though I was worried sick about him and desperate to visit him in the hospital.
It kept going on. I gave him till New Years to talk to me, to patch up our dying relationship. He ignored it >_>
I would have been fine with just leaving there but there was another thing. My friends brought to my attention that he lied about being in that accident.
Everything else I could have forgiven but that... That hurt. That hurt me more then anything else in my entire life.
After 15 years of having my full faith in him.. shouldering all burden and risk for finding a way for us to be finally together after being in a long distance relationship for so long.. the fact that I was being lied to and manipulated in such a petty, cruel way... it broke me. I value honesty above all else and this is just something I could never forgive.
Not like it matters. He haven't responded to me since New Years. I understand now that I am dead to him, therefore he is dead to me.
I'm quite sure he left the fandom as well, I wasn't the only one of our furry friend he was ghosting.
On a brighter side, I think I have finally been able to put all that behind me.
Those 15 years contained some of the best memories of my life and now are tied to someone I can barely re-contextualize now.
It's going to leave a big nasty scar on me but I'm finally ready to move on.
I want to thank all of my precious friends that were there for me in these trying months. I know I haven't been pleasant to be around but I will try to make it up to all of you. You mean the world to me.
I don't know how I would have been able to continue without the support and love of this community.
Speaking of, I know I haven't been uploading much in a while. That is going to change. I have a backlog of art to share and new commissions are getting finished soon ^_^
And don't worry about me, I'm quite happy right now ^^ Met some amazing folks, including a very special dragon recently, and I'm planning visits throughout the year. Maybe NFC next year ^_^
I'm quite cheerful, honesty <3
And I don't know if this needs to be said as I think it should be obvious: Please don't harass Balor. I don't care anymore why he did what he did, and him being out of the furry community means he is out of my life for good. Don't drag up old wounds.
I'm going to leave up old art of him with me because, well, it's part of my history whether I like to think about it or not. It was mostly me who paid for them anyway and people enjoy them ^_^
I made a new telegram sticker pack with only my characters in it. It will be the one I'll continue updating so if anyone was using the megapack you can grab it from here: https://t.me/addstickers/FreeClaw
But I am very glad to hear that you are doing better now and that things are going uphill.
It will leave a scar, but a bright future is ahead of you. <3
Guess in the end he was not the same person he was when you two met, from what it sounds like. So best remember him as the person he was back in the day.
Wishing you all the best for your future endevaours.